Have you ever wondered why at a point of your life things seemed to be so blissful…everything was going along at status quo…you meet that “special” person and initially things are beautiful…but as time ticks chaos seems to filter in? I bet that has happened to just about all of us. We find ourselves looking into the mirror daily only to say, “What the hell is happening?” What we have to realize that sometimes chaos and calamity is not always a bi-product of our actions…it is a result of the situation we have placed ourselves in.
Do you know that you can entwine…you can sleep with…you can marry into dysfunction? Everything has its place and there is a place for everything. Even though we can believe that we are doing everything orderly…perception is not always reality.
This blog is for everyone…but I want to focus on single people…and for those that are in relationships I pray that you can take something from this as well. Single people before you can even think of stepping outside of yourself to date…court…fraternize…you must first be in order. Dysfunction is not reserved for the family…single people display dysfunction at an alarming rate. Women how can you claim you want a husband and your house is not clean…you out at the club…you have a mouth like a first class sailor???? Men how can you talk about settling down and want a wifey when your eyes are wayward…you clubbing as well…have 7…8…9 women on speed dial…sorry folks…it doesn’t work that way. You must first clean your closet before adding someone else’s clothing. I understand we are all a work in progress, but if you are not progressing or evolving towards the plan God has for in store for you…then dysfunction will never be a functional outcome.
People are all too ready to jump into relationship. Instead of being lead by order…I’ve seen women get married because…”someone close to them got married”…or “they are the last of their friends to still be single”…or “they are 30 plus years old”. Men getting married because “it’s cheaper to keep her”…or “they are desperate” (ooh yeah men get desperate too ladies)…what I say to all those reasons…no no no and hell no…be patient and work on you. I remember telling a friend of mine about a year ago…she was so anxious to get in a relationship and get married…I said to her, “I’d rather have 10 years of bliss, then 25 years of hell.”
Work on yourself and pray for your soul mate. A soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and compatibility. The chemistry between you and that person is unmistakable. There is an emotional bond that is not describable. It is imperative that you not only pray for yourself…but pray for your soul mate…even if you don’t know who he or she is…if you are going through it…don’t you think that they are too? Pray fervently for your mate in advance…all the while working on yourself to be in position to receive your blessing….
At the end of the day…its better to have a clean house before your guest arrive opposed to shoving everything in the closet while they are ringing the doorbell….
Dew's Blog 
Dru Bean
May 12, 2010 at 10:15 pm
I really enjoyed reading this. I’ve probably read it 3 or 4 times myself and I’ve shared it with a few of my co-workers (all of whom thought it was good, except one person…who you can imagine…disagreed with one part….but that’s pretty good for her!! lol). At any rate, what you said on this particular subject just reinforces what I’ve been thinking and trying to do with me (praying for my soul mate is something that up until the last few months, I had not done, but now realize that if that’s a desire of my heart, then I should and am expected to go to Him in prayer with it) and also share with some of my fellow cohorts. Don’t get me wrong, it can definitely be a lonely situation to put yourself in, but if one keeps the end result in mind, then they’ll realize the end result is well worth a few lonely moments. Heck, I’ll take a blissful, blessed, loving, long-lasting relationship over some bullcrap anyday!!!!
I was just thinking this morning, that I really need to focus on listening and understanding His word more and let Him reveal to me where I’m falling short in the relationship category and let Him lead me to where He wants me to be. True til death do us part happiness in relationships can only truly be achieved through Him….@ least that’s my theory and that’s what I’m working for. Of course I fall short and will continue to make mistakes, but as long as I stay faithful and make sure I’m where He wants me to be, then I will be rewarded.
That last statement “At the end of the day…its better to have a clean house before your guest arrive opposed to shoving everything in the closet while they are ringing the doorbell….” is deep!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!
Drucilla
May 16, 2010 at 1:49 am
I already wrote a comment, but for some reason it didn’t post….so….
At any rate, let me first say that that last line “At the end of the day…its better to have a clean house before your guest arrive opposed to shoving everything in the closet while they are ringing the doorbell” is SOOOO profound!!! It speaks volumes!!! So many times we get out of one situation and instead of mending and “cleansing ourselves” from that, we jump right into the next one….OR…..even if we don’t jump right into the next situation, we don’t take the time to heal, learn, and grow in between situations.
On the soulmate subject, ironically, I have prayed a few times for him, but I pray more for me and my positioning. You see, praying for him is not gonna help me much if I’m not in position to receive him. I know I’m a work in progress, but like you said, I too would rather have a few years of bliss than a lifetime of heartache and unfulfillment. So if that means I need to continue to work on me and wait for my blessing, then so be it…..even though it does get hard, lonely, and frustrating at times….but even those emotions can be handled by the Great I AM!!!!!! Another good blog!!!!
Debold
May 17, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Flat out relationships just confuse the hell outta me these days. Remember when it was so easy…you like somebody they like you. You pass love notes or texts…look into each other’s eyes and then waaalaaa love is in the air. I read this I agree 100% and then sit and look at the relationships that I counsel friends thru like WHYYYYYYYYY!!!????? Then Im said to be “jaded, emotionless, mean” when I am not. I need to know where the line is Dew? I mean what trials are acceptable and what are not. NO ONE wants to end up 60 and alone. BUT LAWD I am turning 37 this year…LOL time stands still for no man (or even sexy bad azz woMAN) lol I did clean out my closet tho 🙂 No more man hoarding. Which I really find hard because I do care for alot of my x’es. We had friendships that lasted past our relationships (be it couple or physical). It’s hard because sometimes you just wanna call to talk about something that you and that person had in common. No disrepect on current relationships or mates. But it is what it is….you gotta get your house in order…..Sheesh I wanna go back to “teenage love” 🙂
Lisa
July 28, 2010 at 2:46 am
I love the blog and I shared it on my facebook page if you dont mind…