Monthly Archives: May 2010

Ashes to Ashes….

What will you leave when you are gone…a bill or a will?  Will they erect a statue or a footstool?  It is all about legacy and the imprint or lack thereof when your time expires.  Over the course of the last few weeks life and death has surrounded me.  From the birth of my grandson to the death of my uncle it has been prevalent.   One thing I know is that regardless of what it is…time is not going to stand still. 

I was at my uncle’s memorial last Saturday and there was an interesting topic spoke on…as I was taking #1 to school this morning it hit me that I needed to expand on it and share my thoughts with you.  Everyone has a beginning and an end…but what about the middle…what is it that you do with your time here on Earth?  Do you use it to empower others…do you use it shamelessly and frivolously…do you serve God…do you idolize secular things?  What is it that you truly do…so when the last words are spoken about you…what will that person utter?

I know that all of us do not want our time on Earth to be in vain.  For the most part I’m confident in saying that most people want to be successful…but what is success defined as?  Is it the one with the most money…cars…property…is it the one with the most degrees and accolades?  What is success? I’ve heard people say…success is defined as being the best person you can under the circumstances you are dealt…hmmm I guess that sounds okay.  I think that success is a spawned from how you prioritize your life…what truly holds value combined with how often you reach these milestones.  My success might not be the same as yours…who is to say…

One thing for certain though…when I leave this Earth I wanna have a lasting impression.  When people say my name it will be held it high regards…my family can be proud.  When you hear my name after I’m gone…I don’t want it to start with…”dew sure was funny”…or “dew sure could coach”…When my name is spoken I want folks to say, “That was surely a man after God’s heart”….”That man made differences in lives”…It is important to know that each second…minute…hour…day…week…month…year we spend on this Earth is exchanged for life.  Is your exchange rate for the good? 

When you are dead and gone…what will they say about you…what will you leave?

“I maybe here for a shortwhile, gone tomorrow into oblivion or until the days come to take me away. But, in whatever part you play, be remembered as part of a legacy…of sharing dreams and changing humanity for the better. It’s that legacy that never dies”

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.” – Billy Graham


Posted by on May 12, 2010 in Change


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Can I take your order….

Have you ever wondered why at a point of your life things seemed to be so blissful…everything was going along at status quo…you meet that “special” person and initially things are beautiful…but as time ticks chaos seems to filter in?  I bet that has happened to just about all of us. We find ourselves looking into the mirror daily only to say, “What the hell is happening?”  What we have to realize that sometimes chaos and calamity is not always a bi-product of our actions…it is a result of the situation we have placed ourselves in.

Do you know that you can entwine…you can sleep with…you can marry into dysfunction?   Everything has its place and there is a place for everything.  Even though we can believe that we are doing everything orderly…perception is not always reality. 

This blog is for everyone…but I want to focus on single people…and for those that are in relationships I pray that you can take something from this as well.  Single people before you can even think of stepping outside of yourself to date…court…fraternize…you must first be in order.  Dysfunction is not reserved for the family…single people display dysfunction at an alarming rate.  Women how can you claim you want a husband and your house is not clean…you out at the club…you have a mouth like a first class sailor????  Men how can you talk about settling down and want a wifey when your eyes are wayward…you clubbing as well…have 7…8…9 women on speed dial…sorry folks…it doesn’t work that way.  You must first clean your closet before adding someone else’s clothing.  I understand we are all a work in progress, but if you are not progressing or evolving towards the plan God has for in store for you…then dysfunction will never be a functional outcome. 

People are all too ready to jump into relationship.  Instead of being lead by order…I’ve seen women get married because…”someone close to them got married”…or “they are the last of their friends to still be single”…or “they are 30 plus years old”.  Men getting married because “it’s cheaper to keep her”…or “they are desperate” (ooh yeah men get desperate too ladies)…what I say to all those reasons…no no no and hell no…be patient and work on you.  I remember telling a friend of mine about a year ago…she was so anxious to get in a relationship and get married…I said to her, “I’d rather have 10 years of bliss, then 25 years of hell.” 

Work on yourself and pray for your soul mate.  A soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and compatibility.  The chemistry between you and that person is unmistakable.  There is an emotional bond that is not describable.  It is imperative that you not only pray for yourself…but pray for your soul mate…even if you don’t know who he or she is…if you are going through it…don’t you think that they are too?  Pray fervently for your mate in advance…all the while working on yourself to be in position to receive your blessing….

At the end of the day…its better to have a clean house before your guest arrive opposed to shoving everything in the closet while they are ringing the doorbell….


Posted by on May 12, 2010 in Change


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ooh it’s not just me….

…that still believes in discipline.  Tuesday evening I was at baseball practice with #1 throwing batting practice and I seen something that I have not seen in years.  I witnessed a mother taking her belt off and whooping her son’s tail.  Now the kid was not on my team…but another team that practiced at the same complex.  Okay…if any of you know me…know I stay in comic relief form…so my first intuition was to laugh…sorry I couldn’t help it.  After she continued to discipline him (not hit him) I thought about how this generation of child just does not get disciplined as past generations.  Now I’m not condoning beating on a child…hey…a firm belt on the tail still can get the job done.

1 Comment

Posted by on May 6, 2010 in Nothing about Nothing


What size is your handcuffs??????

It has been almost two months to the day since my last post.  Wow…that is a long time.  I decided to post again because of the shear volume of request that I received.  Apparently, as I was walking my journey,  I was a helping others in their plight.  It is extremely selfish of me to not continue to help others in any capacity I can.  Today as I sifted through many of the emotions I go through daily I was overwhelmed with the desire to write again.  Over the course of the last few months my life has twisted and turned as usual.  I have been on the quest for a “normal” life…but I truly am not sure what “normal” consist of for me.  Since I have last put fingers to keys, I have transferred to a four-year university (which I love…but my classes suck)…dealt with some disappointments in my personal life…death of an uncle and birth of my first grandchild…whirlwind huh???

The last few days I’ve been thinking about “fear” and “bondage”….how we allow these spirits to hinder and stunt our growth.  I can’t really say that there have been many things that have placed fear in my heart…but I know for sure that bondage was something that held me captive for quite some time.  I’ve written a few times before…to get a different outcome you must do something different…step out of you comfort zone.  How often have you had the opportunity to do something different but was scared….or even go out to dinner and order the same thing over…over and over…repeatedly…just don’t want to try anything different.  Hell…real talk…I’m tired of ordering chicken alfredo all the time.  We too often allow one experience to dictate eternal choices.  It is imperative that we let each initial experience be unique…stop being prisoners of our own fears and insecurites…maybe its just me…I dunno.

Answer me this…the world has so many pitfalls…what sense does it make to handcuff yourself.  That is insane and preposterous.  One thing I know for sure and two things for certain…living cautious is criminal…place yourself in a squad car and lock yourself up.  Questions to ponder on..

  1. What is holding me captive?
  2. Am I ready to break the norm?

What size is your handcuffs?????


Posted by on May 3, 2010 in Change


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,