Monthly Archives: August 2011

Addition by Subtraction…

Like usual folks when the mood hits me to write I’m generally at some different type of emotional state. I’ve said it countless times…I’m most definitely an emotional being. Unless its academically influenced its extremely difficult for me in this season of my life to just have at it and write…not sure where down the line that happened…but I figure while this season is in session im gonna roll with it. For me the past few days have been somewhat emotionally draining…but that’s my life and I’ve learned how to adjust to these days…AND NO I’m not bipolar or mentally unstable…I have all my marbles and my elevator goes all the way up to the top floor…but these are the life and times of  David Dew Sr.

Chance…one thing is for certain and another is definite…absolutely nothing happens by chance and there is a rhyme, reason and purpose for everything under the sun.
Funny how purpose reveals itself…I was walking through the store tonight and I started to think about my life…when I was hit with the motivation I assumed that this would be another reflection post…in a way it is but slightly shifted a bit…Addition by Subtraction, I thought I was done with this series but…

Life…is full of unexpected twist and turns and its our job to navigate through these obstacles with grace and diligence. I believe I’m gonna be transparency for a sec or so. Somebody once told me…”Dew you didn’t ask to to through what you’ve been through.” That’s a true statement. For the vast majority of us…we never ask for what we go through…but that event…situation…person or whatever it may be has purpose in your life. Even if we don’t initially see it…or understand why…that purpose was on purpose to serve its purpose.  Think about that for a second and I will come back to it.

Transparent…I remember after Ronya died there was a point in time where I had to focus…looking back now I really don’t believe it was focus…I was in shock. There were certain things I needed to do that was critical for the survival of my family. It was pertinent that I have tunnel vision. If I hadn’t only God knows where we would’ve been if I didn’t. Then it happened…the calm…the idleness after the storm. I was forced to address issues. Reality at times can be a harsh teacher. I can remember the week after she passed, we had a routine…I would leave church, walk in the parking lot, call her at the hospital and ask what she wanted to eat…every single Sunday I did that. So now service is over…I walk to the lot and pull out my phone to call her…and then it hit me…she’s gone. WOW…what do you do…I’m literally standing in the middle of the lot with a phone in my hand not knowing my next move…IN LIFE. Reality bites! Humans are creatures of habit…my routine is broken…what do I do? My wife was an enormous part of my life. Time…what’s gonna occupy that time now? Where do I go? How do you continue? Can I even get there?

Purpose…everything has purpose. There was a point in time I didn’t wanna be here. I just wanted die. No I wasn’t suicidal…but I just wanted to be gone. I went from this vibrant person…full of personality…to not caring. I managed my department at work. I stopped brushing my hair…I would wear a uniform to work didn’t matter if it was clean or dirty…I would wear these old beat to Hell Timberland boots to work with no shoestrings. I went to work late…it was a chore to get out of bed. When I got to work I would just go straight to my office and shut the door. I can remember taking lunch for 2-3 hours…I could care less. If it wasn’t for my three children I probably would have melted into obscurity. It was them that I now lived for…I no longer lived for myself…true story. If it wasn’t for them…I don’t think I would be here writing this blog. My children served a purpose in my life. They were the catalyst that rekindled my flame.

Obstacles…life is filled with them. Adversity comes via many means. What does one do when the obstacle comes…does one fight or flee? Is it what’s for me will be for me? Move…stay still…move while standing still? When these “barrier” moments arrive one presses. You see that obstacle has purpose. The problem is we focus so hard on the obstacle to we actually trip right over it. The focus should not be the obstacle…but what comes after we overcome the barrier. Watch me now…

Addition by subtraction…I had to go through that purpose in my life to serve my purpose. Ronya was a purpose…she completed her work on this earth. When I STOPPED focusing on what I no longer had (subtraction) God provided me with a series of  beautiful people in my life (addition). He gave me a second lease on life. I went through the purpose to become a better man…to become a better husband…to become a better father…to walk in my destiny. So when I marry this time…I won’t be tripped by the same obstacles.

Where am I going with this…FAITH. Before one can truly overcome an obstacle, one first must believe. One must have FAITH. See the thing is…I could not prosper because my focus was on my situation…not my solution. My solution resided in the Lord. Once I placed my FAITH in Him I was able to overcome….Isaiah 53: 4-5… 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our otransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.


Posted by on August 28, 2011 in Change, Family, Me, Religious


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Wants…Needs…Amenities,Necessities and Cake Batter

Again…it’s been quite some time since I’ve put pen to pad…fingers to keys or whatever you want to call it, and it seems like this is actually starting to become habitual…this on again and off again thing that I have with writing.  I dunno what it call it…maybe a form of neglect.  It’s funny because I bet my last few post have started this way…hell maybe even more…I guess I’ve fell into that trap of being consistently inconsistent…GO FIGURE!

I’ve wanted to write, but I guess my time obligation outweighed my desire to actually write, or I am just plum lazy.  Whichever (is that a word?) the case, it’s all an excuse and we know what they say about excuses…yep we all have one, just some are bigger than others.  Ha Ha Ha…my dry attempt at humor.

Where shall I start…hmmm I know exactly where, this had been a different week for me…I’m finishing up the Summer Term (can’t believe that I’m merely quarters away from receiving my degree’s…been a journey and a half), football practice has consumed my life, school is starting for #1 and #2…ooh and also dealing with an irritating health issue (which sucks) but I’m good.  For much is given…much is required.

As usual my writing is sparked by an action, even or thought and this time is no different.  As I am reading this book for class I was hit with a thought that I placed on FB…

God gives us exactly what we need; we just focus too often on that we think we want.  Continue to focus on the package and you will never appreciate the contents.  Stop settling…like a cake…does one’s concentration lie in the batter residue or the finished product?  Your destiny…control it!

I really drowned myself in this statement.  I know I have wrote things similar to this before, but I will allow my thoughts to do what they do and I pray that someone is moved by these words…

See the thing is people, God gives us the keys, He gives us the outlet but we love to shackle ourselves.  We concentrate on the what if’s and the its not fair’s…or the I feel like this or that’s…hell sometimes even the why me’s…but it’s after the fact we focus on situations from a positive perspective.  I believe it is an innate action to point the fingers initially before we ever take responsibility.  Also, what we consider the easy way out in all actuality is the most difficult way out.  Yeah it is more than one way to skin a cat…but quickest way from A to Z is thru J.  Walk with me for a second…John 8:12 says…When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” It’s thru Jesus where things are revealed but we rather retreat to our understanding.  That’s why things continue to happen…we severe ties with the Electric Company (Jesus) and rather light candles (us).  Okay…lemme back off that one because I can take off on it.

The basis of this blog is too speak on NEEDS opposed to wants…NECESSETIES opposed to amenities.  We as people get these things so twisted.  It’s great to want things, but one can’t live a successful life off wants.  Wants are superficial and eventually become detrimental.  For instance, I can want some fast food, but can I truly live off fast food.  Eventually, over time eating that way will deteriorate my health…but its needs that I prosper off of.  There are certain things that one’s body need in order to survive…you following me?  There is a distinct difference in the two…wants and amenities make me happy..that is what you search for in a hotel…but necessities and needs bring me joy…it is what my spirit searches for.  One of these are temporary enjoyment…the other is eternal bliss…discern.

Package…package…package.  To obtain something great one must endure something horrific (now the degree might be different).  If one never experience adversity, how can one stand firm when needed.  The package I say…we as people have a package mentality instead of content spirit…meaning this…many of us are shallow because we fear contents…not because we are actually scared, but because we are mentally immature and incapable of dealing with success.  If we ever “grow up” and realize that contents for outweigh the package, then out needs will flourish.

Lemme tie all of this into the previous statement.  When we bake a cake…we taste the batter to see if something is missing…correct?  We might add a pinch of this or a dash of that if it is not up to our specifications.  We worry about the contents and the finished product.  A great baker just doesn’t place a cake in the oven because there are no lumps in the batter…that would be foolish…everything in life is about contents…not the packaging.

If one shifts its focus from wants to needs, then they will receive that is for them…until then they will continue to bake cakes with lumpy batter…


Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Change


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