…. is a live half lived…..I heard this the other day initially I didn’t pay it any attention. At this current time the Buckeyes had my undivided attention. They were playing Iowa and about to score to win the game…but for some reason as each second went past…my mind seemed to drift back to this quote. Suddenly I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I knew that I had to write about it immediately. As a few days passed by I continued to meditate on what I needed to talk about because there are so many directions that this particular statement can go…then it hit me this morning when I woke up…I went to read my “No Ceilings” blog…and there was my answer….
Fear yet so small in stature has a stranglehold on so many people. Fear is defined as: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. How often have you had to opportunity to do something different and fear has held you back? Just afraid of the unknown…you can see every advantage gained by capitalizing on an opportunity but you are concerned with what somebody would say…you are nervous of what might happened. We cultivate all these negative outcomes in our minds and then flat out allow the moment to pass. I will tell you this…fear will paralyze every fiber of your being if you allow it to. Our pessimistic anticipation is enough validation for us not to move forward. Fear will undermine any progression and cripple all growth.
The more I thought about how this statement is so true I began (as usual) to think about how it applies to me. Now for those that know me…know I will boast that the only thing that I’m fearful of is God. Anything else…I’m good! But is this the actual truth? I was talking to a friend some time ago and she posed a single question to me (y’all are actually about to get a glimpse of my personal love life…something I NEVER share…whew…crazy because fear is attempting to stop me from writing this part, but I won’t allow it), “David, are you afraid to be happy?” From a topical perspective all I could think about is, “what the hell?” This seemed to be a really dumb question. Everyone wants to be happy…don’t they? I couldn’t figure out why she was asking me this. Is it because she was interested in me? Maybe it was because she wanted something from me? For the life of me I still couldn’t figure out her agenda…it has to be something there. I pondered over the question for a few days and I got what I was looking for…Since Ronya passed away…I had been extremely fearful of committing myself to any situation with a woman 100%. Now I would give her 85…90…95%…but 100%…hell no…because once she got close…Fort Knox was coming up. I would limit our interaction…I would limit everything…until eventually she was so frustrated everything would be on my terms. I was fearful of giving my all into a relationship and this woman would leave me…she would die (like Ronya)…we wouldn’t work out for whatever reason. Fear dictated my happiness and was the catalyst of many things I did. I told someone I hold dear to my heart recently…”I’m nervous because every woman I have every loved in my life…always was gone when I feel I needed them.” (and I’m not just talking about relationships…but family…friends…etc)
Why did I just tell you that…hell…real talk…I dunno…maybe I just needed to get that off my chest so I can have this feeling of liberation that I am currently experiencing…or because I’m here to let you know that once you conquer your fears…the sky is the limit. See I was unable to live a complete life…the life that God predestined for me because I was scared…I was fearful of the return. I was half living a life that was meant to flourish and prosper. As I am knocking down my walls of fear and confronting that fear eye to eye my life is going down a completely different path. No I don’t know where this road will take me…but I won’t allow fear to only let me experience half a life. Fear has no dominion in my life anymore and the no ceilings that I wrote about before is exactly where it should be.
Don’t allow fear to decapitate your purpose. Use fear as a stepping stone to freedom. I heard it stated before that, “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves, regret for the past and fear of the future.” Wow…how true is that. Fear comes to steal…kill and destroy lives. I know that I allowed fear to control me long enough…what about you?