When working with or on me God always uses the simplest of things to grab my attention. The last 48 hours of my life has not been any different. I want to share an experience or three with you from these hours. I don’t know how this might come out…it might be raw…informal…personal…edited…I dunno…it might be a combination of all of these…it might be kinda long…or I might chop it into several…hell I so don’t know so I’m just going to write and I guess we’ll see….
“Thank God for giving me this moment of clarity…this moment of honesty…the world will feel my truths…through my hard knock life times…my gift and my curse…I gave you volume after volume of my works so you can feel my truths” – Jay Z
I was taking my “oldest” son to Norfolk, Virginia this past Saturday evening after a whirlwind of events had transpired when these lyrics smacked me in my face. I was driving down a 10% grade decline in some mountains somewhere in West Virginia. Hmmm…lemme back up for a sec…my day actually started at 6 a.m. all the way back in Middletown, Ohio. Me and my boys woke up kinda early because we were travelling to Columbus to see the boys state basketball championship…see the school my “oldest” son and I coach football at was playing in the Finals at 10:30…so it was important for us to get out kinda early to beat parking and all that mess. We knew we had a long day ahead of us because after the game we were travelling back to Dayton and then down to Virginia…lets see…fast forward now….
“Thank God for giving me this moment of clarity”…as I’m maneuvering down these mountains and crazy looking towns in West Virginia the sun sets…and the weather starts to change…its raining and sleeting a bit. The twist and turns of the mountains are absolutely crazy….as I come up on a decline that lyric hits me along with a phrase… “Emotional Compass”…I’m not too sure what that is about…but okay…I’ma roll with this God…you have never steered me astray. Midway down this slope it hits me….BAM… “Emotional Compass”…we as people…well lemme talk about me and maybe you can relate…me as a person I’m constantly driven my emotions…I’m an emotional being. I don’t too much make brash decisions anymore…but the vast majority of decisions that I have made was strictly based on my mood at that moment. I allowed my “Compass of emotion” direct the path that I decided to take. Now sometimes that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing…because I should “trust” my gut…but what happens when raw emotions infiltrated “my gut”…Yeah…that usually ended up all bad.
So as I’m travelling down this slope I’m kinda hesitant…because for one…it’s a slope in the middle of some big ass mountain with no lighting around…and for two it is raining profusely and I’m not about to make some channels nightly news in my haste. Emotional compass…it hit me…how often have I made a decision and I have got caught smack dead travelling down a slippery slope and there was no turning back…wow! Kinda like the raining…slick slope I was actually driving down. That’s crazy….well maybe I’m the only one that gets it…He uses the little things to get my attention.
As I get thru this part of the mountain I’m kinda in another emotional place. I can feel that He is working on me in this very moment…giving me “moments of clarity” that are much needed. At this point we approach another stretch where here are these absolute crazy twists and turns…which kinda made me start to think about my life. How life has all these turns…this stop and go traffic…these twist…that are uncontrollably controllable…Now you might say what does that mean…walk with me for a sec…See the conditions and the state of the roads were uncontrollable (on my part)…but I was able to control and dictate my actions while driving thru them…uncontrollably controllable. That is how life is…full of curveballs…its nothing you can do about the type of pitch thrown…but you can do what you need to do to be able to hit a homerun…Okay…maybe that one was for me too…lol. You can’t let you “emotional compass” navigate you…you navigate your compass.
Eventually we get through this terrain…but the vast majority of the time we didn’t have a GPS signal…hmmm…no GPS signal…no phone signal…NOTHING. This is extremely interesting…I remember before I left I googled the directions just to take a look…to familiarize myself in the direction that I was to travel. I’m coming back to this later.
We finally make it (ahead of schedule)…but behind schedule because we actually hit the highway almost two hours later (does that make sense?). It’s time to depart in the morning…just a few hours of sleep because I have a 9:45 class in the Monday morning (the first day of Spring Quarter). Say my goodbye to my boy…wish him well and all that…it’s raining like crazy again leaving…but ooh well I gotta go. As I am driving my mind is wondering back to the “emotional compass” thing again….and I so happen to look up and I am in MARYLAND…hahahaha…how the hell that happen. I’m like, “Damn…ain’t this a sack of shit! (apologize for the words…but I’m just being real)”…Not paying attention I done ended up at the Chesapeake Bay…man that is sooooo funny. I gain my composure and continue to drive. Now my route has drastically changed. I went from going back through VA and WV to going through MD, PA, WV and OH…hahahahaha….yep route altered…one of those curveballs I talked about. One thing that happened as I drove through Maryland….the clouds cleared…it became sunny and it was so beautiful. It was unlike that crazy feeling I experienced the night before driving through West Virginia.
As I took this alternate route the more I drove…the better I felt. It finally hit me (now I’m coming back to that “googled” thing). See before I left Dayton I googled the directions and glanced at them…I didn’t want to be solely depended on the GPS…I just wanted to know in advance…that is how God works…what would have happened if I was solely dependent on the GPS…I would have been completely lost…but I had the foresight to glance over the directions before I left. Its like this…we as people depend on the most convenient things…the easy way out (GPS systems) opposed to good old fashioned directions (the Word). GPS got me in the vicinity…but the directions got me to the destination…WHOA!
Walk with me one more minute…Even though the ride through going back was 2 hours longer than the ride going to…it was more subtle. It was comfortable…it was beautiful. I had the ride of my life…its like this…I went thru the storm the night before…but the next day I experienced bliss…
Psalms 30:5 “…weeping may endureth the night…but joy cometh in the morning…..Lord thank you for this moment of clarity….thank you for guiding my “emotional compass”…it took me 36 1/2 hours…1917 miles…a slippery slope…Chesapeake Bay and 4 toll booth to realize it…what’s it gonna be for you?