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Know your own strength…

This was initially supposed to be a small Facebook status, but the more I typed…the more came out, so I decided to share this with everyone.

Probably the realest status I’ve ever posted. For four years now the months of February and March has given me a different set of emotional issues. It was February when my dad died and march when wife died. As I set in traffic on the highway listening to this gospel playlist…a song that was sang at Ronya’s funeral came on…I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT AGAIN WITHOUT JUST BREAKING DOWN…but today no tears…no breakdown…just a smile.

Psalms 30:5….weeping may endureth the night but joy cometh in the morning.

My night might have been a little longer than others…but my Sun did shine. So with all this being said family…press through your storm. Don’t give up. It’s all in God’s perfect plan and divine timing. Don’t be scared of a little rain. All plants need water to grow. Understand this…if you are not dead…it made you stronger. You must recognize and utilize the strength that you now have. There
is not much worse in the entire world than not knowing your own strength.

Be blessed all and have a tremendous day. This might be the only time someone hears this today…hey you!….yeah you…I LOVE YOU.

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Posted by on March 15, 2012 in Change, Me, Motivational Thursday, Religious

 

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Sometimes it is the Hardest Thing to do…

…letting a person go.  Every so often…and I am willing to bet a dollar to a dime that we all come to a point when we must end a “ship” in our life.  Some are easier than other to walk away from.  Today, I was faced with an ultimate decision…should I keep a person in my life…or should I continue to subscribe to these internal emotions that I have suppressed on the inside of me and ignored for an extraordinary amount of time.  Before I made the decision a number of things entered into my mind (and I will come back to this at another point).

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Just the other day I wrote a post about Seasons, Reasons, and Lifetimes.  The crazy thing is…I was oblivious to the fact that this blog would come back and speak to me.  Life is an amazing thing I tell you.  People in your life are even more amazing.  Just take a moment to think about all the people who you encounter on a daily basis…how many people you pour into physical, mentally, emotionally, spiritually…and vice versa…people that do the same things to you.  The number is quite alarming.  The funny thing is…at times we don’t even have a clue that we accomplish these things for others.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.Raymond Lindquist

Sometimes the hardest thing to do…is letting a person go.  Pulling the trigger on a “ship” is like a game of never-ending tug-of-war…it doesn’t seem like anyone would be victorious.  It’s like you are playing this balancing act between your heart and mind…and anytime that is the case…you’re in trouble.  The heart can make the mind feel something it can’t understand…and the mind can make the heart understand something that it can’t feel (think about that for a second). but just because a person is riding your bus, doesn’t mean that they are to get off at your bus stop.  That goes back to slotting people accordingly.  I believe life is about many things…but a fundamental attribute to living is joy and being successful via making the correct decisions.  Choosing the right people to encompass you is a slippery slope…one must have a strong sense of discernment.  If you can’t discern properly, that is how seasonal people get lifetime privileges.

“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.” – The Wonder Years

Remember this…when progressing in life…have the ability to make the correct cuts.  Removing folks out of your life is not mean…it is necessary for progression.  Example if you are a recovering drug addict…chances for full-blown recovery are better if you associate yourself with people who are not addicted to drugs.  It is foolish to keep yourself around the same people you did before when you were getting high.  Relapse is a real possibility if so. Congregate with people who strive for you to be a better person.  Leaving situations behind is the harsh reality of life…don’t be afraid to make the pertinent cuts…its okay…God has many band-aids for the wounded. What happens when you don’t let people go…you handcuff your reality and insist on living a perception of your life.  It’s hard to go…but I gotta leave. Don’t be afraid to let people you know, become people you knew.

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” –Unknown

 

 

 
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Posted by on December 30, 2011 in Change, Me

 

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Addition by Subtraction…

Like usual folks when the mood hits me to write I’m generally at some different type of emotional state. I’ve said it countless times…I’m most definitely an emotional being. Unless its academically influenced its extremely difficult for me in this season of my life to just have at it and write…not sure where down the line that happened…but I figure while this season is in session im gonna roll with it. For me the past few days have been somewhat emotionally draining…but that’s my life and I’ve learned how to adjust to these days…AND NO I’m not bipolar or mentally unstable…I have all my marbles and my elevator goes all the way up to the top floor…but these are the life and times of  David Dew Sr.

Chance…one thing is for certain and another is definite…absolutely nothing happens by chance and there is a rhyme, reason and purpose for everything under the sun.
Funny how purpose reveals itself…I was walking through the store tonight and I started to think about my life…when I was hit with the motivation I assumed that this would be another reflection post…in a way it is but slightly shifted a bit…Addition by Subtraction, I thought I was done with this series but…

Life…is full of unexpected twist and turns and its our job to navigate through these obstacles with grace and diligence. I believe I’m gonna be transparency for a sec or so. Somebody once told me…”Dew you didn’t ask to to through what you’ve been through.” That’s a true statement. For the vast majority of us…we never ask for what we go through…but that event…situation…person or whatever it may be has purpose in your life. Even if we don’t initially see it…or understand why…that purpose was on purpose to serve its purpose.  Think about that for a second and I will come back to it.

Transparent…I remember after Ronya died there was a point in time where I had to focus…looking back now I really don’t believe it was focus…I was in shock. There were certain things I needed to do that was critical for the survival of my family. It was pertinent that I have tunnel vision. If I hadn’t only God knows where we would’ve been if I didn’t. Then it happened…the calm…the idleness after the storm. I was forced to address issues. Reality at times can be a harsh teacher. I can remember the week after she passed, we had a routine…I would leave church, walk in the parking lot, call her at the hospital and ask what she wanted to eat…every single Sunday I did that. So now service is over…I walk to the lot and pull out my phone to call her…and then it hit me…she’s gone. WOW…what do you do…I’m literally standing in the middle of the lot with a phone in my hand not knowing my next move…IN LIFE. Reality bites! Humans are creatures of habit…my routine is broken…what do I do? My wife was an enormous part of my life. Time…what’s gonna occupy that time now? Where do I go? How do you continue? Can I even get there?

Purpose…everything has purpose. There was a point in time I didn’t wanna be here. I just wanted die. No I wasn’t suicidal…but I just wanted to be gone. I went from this vibrant person…full of personality…to not caring. I managed my department at work. I stopped brushing my hair…I would wear a uniform to work didn’t matter if it was clean or dirty…I would wear these old beat to Hell Timberland boots to work with no shoestrings. I went to work late…it was a chore to get out of bed. When I got to work I would just go straight to my office and shut the door. I can remember taking lunch for 2-3 hours…I could care less. If it wasn’t for my three children I probably would have melted into obscurity. It was them that I now lived for…I no longer lived for myself…true story. If it wasn’t for them…I don’t think I would be here writing this blog. My children served a purpose in my life. They were the catalyst that rekindled my flame.

Obstacles…life is filled with them. Adversity comes via many means. What does one do when the obstacle comes…does one fight or flee? Is it what’s for me will be for me? Move…stay still…move while standing still? When these “barrier” moments arrive one presses. You see that obstacle has purpose. The problem is we focus so hard on the obstacle to we actually trip right over it. The focus should not be the obstacle…but what comes after we overcome the barrier. Watch me now…

Addition by subtraction…I had to go through that purpose in my life to serve my purpose. Ronya was a purpose…she completed her work on this earth. When I STOPPED focusing on what I no longer had (subtraction) God provided me with a series of  beautiful people in my life (addition). He gave me a second lease on life. I went through the purpose to become a better man…to become a better husband…to become a better father…to walk in my destiny. So when I marry this time…I won’t be tripped by the same obstacles.

Where am I going with this…FAITH. Before one can truly overcome an obstacle, one first must believe. One must have FAITH. See the thing is…I could not prosper because my focus was on my situation…not my solution. My solution resided in the Lord. Once I placed my FAITH in Him I was able to overcome….Isaiah 53: 4-5… 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our otransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2011 in Change, Family, Me, Religious

 

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Is Your Time Piece Ticking….

Time…time…time.  This is something no matter how hard one tries…one can never get time back.  I’ve seen somewhere…where time was defined as: A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.  Irreversible…thats a deep word.  When something is irreversible that means it is incapable of changing to its prior or previous state.  Time…the one thing we have a bittersweet relationship with.  We love to watch it go…but we hate to see it leave.  Its the one thing we wish we had more of…or the one thing we wish we didnt have any of.  Time…the ultimate oxymoron. 

As I’ve experienced certain circumstances and situation here over the past several months..or even perhaps the last several years one thing that I have noticed…time does not stand still for NO ONE!  Reagardless of the clout one may have…money…education or lack thereof time WILL move forward…with or without you.  It is up to us to capture those important “moments in time” that constructs our lives.  I was sitting in my car this morning on campus…just taking a moment to “gather” myself as I tackled my monsterous day ahead of me.  As I thought about what I needed to do first…second and so on…I was hit with a thought of simply this…”live life through the windshield…not the rearview mirror.”  How does this translate to me personally…well I started to think and it hit me….

Walk with me for a brief second if you don’t mind…over the course of the last month two of my close friends have lost parents…both of these deaths I dealt with differently.  The first hurt bad…from the standpoint that my friends father was someone I was close with when I was younger.  We always laughed and talked together…he always had some sort of joke and everytime I went over my buddy’s house…I always looked forward to seeing his dad.  The second of which pierced my soul…it was a woman that I called “ma deuce”…or mother #2 affectionately.  These deaths bothered me because the very thing I’m talking about now…TIME.  As I entered manhood and formed my own family…it seemed like I never had TIME to just go and sit and talk with them…I didnt have enough TIME…whew!

So this week I went back to my old neighborhood…everything is gone…houses and apartments knocked down.  It’s a shell of it’s former self…but one thing was still standing…Ma Deuce’s house.  I knocked on the door to see who was there and I didn’t get an answer…as I walked down the stairs to get to my car I took one slow turn and looked at the house.  It is weathered…paint chipping…same color scheme…I actually remember when they painted the house white and green.  I looked in the yard adjacent to the house and decided to walk in it.  As I walked in the yard all types of memories started to flow.  Childhood memories that I had forgot.  Some good…some bad…but they were my memories.  I walked to the back yard and I was amazed.  The swing set that was around when we were children was still there in the same place.  I looked a little deeper and the trampoline we just to play on was in the exact same place…amazingly the dog chain was still around the tree…her garden looked exactly the same.  For a moment it appeared that time stood still…but that is not possible.  If time stood still…she would still be in there cooking greens…gutting fresh catfish…frying chicken.  Regardless of the situation…regardless of the tears shed or money spent…TIME WILL MOVE FORWARD.

I say all of the above to say this people…align yourself with the things that mean the most to you.  Align yourself in the the vision that you have.  Live life for the moment but THROUGH the entire picture.  Don’t allow time to pass you by.  Set your vision forward through your windshield of life….not the rearview mirror of death.

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.  ~Jan Glidewell

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.  ~Michael Cibenko

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2011 in Change, Me

 

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My Soul is Anchored…..

I’ve sat back trying to figure out the direction of my blog.  From time to time I go through this evaluation process.  At times it gets rather irritating…I mean from the standpoint of smashing my head against the wall (well its not that violent)…that repetitious nature is something that I am really cool on. 

One day I decide to be more structured (but that is not me)…other times I want to be more carefree (but again that is not me)…so my answer is to do what I have done.  I truly believe this way I am able to cover what I want and at least reach one person.

Okay…I’ve been told numberous of times that I am an interesting specimen…that a group can do a case study on me and come up with some fascinating results.  My mind is always in overdrive….like everyone is moving at 55 mph and I’m coasting around 80 mph…go figure…but anywho…

I was sitting down listening to some Gospel music this morning and the song that I paid particular attention to was “My Soul is Anchored”.  The fascinating thing about this is that it was the song played at Ronya’s funeral before they closed the casket (yeah that really sucked)…but as I continued to listen to the words I was quickly moved to tears.  For one I started to replay her funeral in my head and for two the words are so beautiful.

The words speak about a storm of tremendous proportions…the storm won’t cease…the wind won’t stop blowing…but regardless my soul is anchored in the Lord.  A problem that we often encounter as people is that we get too consumed in our situations.  We see things from where we are.  This gives us a tainted and distorted view of reality.  When we are truly able to steadfast and are able to accept reality, then change and purpose manifest.

How many of you know that life is one ginormous test?  Life is a test filled with trust and eventually a temporary assignment.  Our goal should be to perform well during our trials and tribulations (tests)…involving God (trust) to pass us through our temporary assignment.  If we are able to complete these task, we will receive eternal rewards.  Know that how you perform during your storms (tests) has internal implications….

Remember that reward is tri-fold…affirmation…promotion…celebration.  Now is my lifetime…I am walking into my destiny.

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2010 in Me

 

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Much is Required….

Okay…alright already… I know that I use incorrect grammar and punctuation when I write.  Lately I have received an influx of new readers (thank you and I really appreciate you) and some of you have sent me messages about my horrible use of grammar and mechanics…some of it is intentional some not…but I write based on how I feel and however it comes out…that is what you get, so it is filled with raw emotion and terrible punctuation.  If I go back and revise, I believe that you will miss out on the essence of what I am attempting to convey. Now since that is out of the way…..

 …..for some crazy reason I have been getting clobbered over top of my head about this subject of change.  I know I have posted several times on this topic…but every time I attempt to proceed in my process, I quickly revert right back to change. 

 As I looked at the definition of change…there was one constant theme…to alter…to transform…to switch…change is all of the things above…BUT when I think of change I think of  making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one phase to another.  See when we change old things are passed away…we become a new creature.  Those situations I used to deal with…I tend to shy away from….at least that is how change is supposed to work.

 When I look at myself I would always want to change…but I was only willing to put in temporary work.  Temporary work only gives us shallow results.  That’s why I always seemed to be caught in this spiral of mediocrity.  I would lose 30 pounds…pick 35 back up.  I would be on fire for God and then back to being lukewarm again.  There was no consistency in my everyday walk.  Well maybe I guess the consistency was being inconsistent.  Go figure…the man with all the answers for everyone didn’t have the answers for himself.  Wow!

 As I am beginning to climb out of my bucket of inconsistency filled with heartache and sorrow…mixed with grief and despair…I am quickly realizing that all this pain was preparation for my destiny.  How can I be the man that I was called to be when I needed to spring clean all year?  I can’t! I hear people say all the time…I am who I am…hell…I’m guilty of say that myself…yeah we are who we are…but that is a cop out.  We are what God says we are.  You can’t add or take away from that.  I am starting to understand the scripture more and more each day that “for whom much is given…much is required.”  What gave me the audacity to think that I was going to go through life unscathed?  Yeah right…if I am going to be great…I must endure the highest of mountains and lowest of valleys.  Like I said previously…change has not changed…until changed has changed.  That means change is repetitious in nature.  It is in constant evolution mode.  Why do you think we encounter four seasons each year…because the earth is in constant rotation. 

 I can’t call it people…maybe it’s just me…who knows…I’m dysfunctional anyways…until we meet again!  Be blessed and highly favored!

 
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Posted by on January 26, 2010 in Change, Me, Religious

 

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Look up in the sky and where did it go……

…..NO CEILINGS.  This is a mantra I have adopted over the course of the last few weeks.  It’s funny because I am a music junkie…R &B…Hip Hop…Soul…Gospel…60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s…anything but Heavy Metal gets rotation at home and in my car.  Recently I have been on a Rap kick and Lil Wayne has been the artist of choice.  The skinny of it is that he has a new CD out titled “No Ceilings”…the thing about the CD is at the end of each song he says something that incorporates the theme “No Ceilings”.  The concept of “No Ceilings” is very elementary, but it is something that many people choose not to do…live life with no regrets…following the ideology of “it is what it is” and not allowing anything to hinder or stunt your growth…the sky is the limit you know…

Anywho…many times we are inhibited by our own circumstances and situations…not willing to think outside the box.  We look up above and we see that preverbal ceiling and we limit ourselves.  What I am quickly learning is that as long as we have to live life with no regrets…now don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying reckless…just you don’t want the shouldve’s…couldve’s to be the basis of your life. Go hard.  Me personally…I’m not allowing a ceiling to dictate how high I can fly.  I’m not going to look back and mull over choices I have made in my life.  If I say it…I’m going to do it…or die trying.  Ceilings are defined as :  An upper limit, especially as set by regulation…Naw…I pass on limits and regulations…not in this season of my life.  Like I said before…”now is my lifetime …I have a date with destiny”.

Crazy it took a free mixtape CD to help funnel a process…will you allow ceilings to hinder you?

 
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Posted by on January 8, 2010 in Me

 

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