Monthly Archives: March 2009

Is it still the 60’s????

I was always taught if you don’t have anything good to say…keep your damn mouth closed.  My parents were old school to say the least…so I debated on writing this post until I calmed down.  I was and still am heated…but I’m at the point to where I can at least be dignified about the situation…but here it is people…

I happen to be on vacation for a week or so and today actually is the first day of classes for the Spring Term.  I prefer to do most of my work at the school or local library.  Since it is the first day of class…I decided to go down to the campus to take in some fresh air and mingle among my fellow classmates.  Well I’m at the library…minding my own business.  At our campus in order to use a PC you must use your student ID to log into the PC right….so I’m talking to a friend of mine in the library that just left from talking to a counselor.  We both log in the central station and we are assigned PC’s fairly close to each other.  After you are given your assignment you have five minutes to sign into the PC before you lose your reservation.  My friend and I talk by the central sign-in PC for a few minutes before a worker reminds us that we only have a few minutes before we have re-register…so as we walk to our PC we continue to talk.  We finally both sign-in and I’m retrieving my class work for one of my Management classes…as I listen to Pandora doing all of this…I get a tap on my shoulder…it is the clown looking library employee that asks for my ID and wants to verify who I am.  At this point I am pissed from the standpoint that I’m just chilling minding my business…I guess because I’m dressed down today I get a different reaction. 

I begin to follow this employee with my eyes…and notice that he went to another person…Mind you that he told me that this was “random ID checking”…hahahaha…a bunch of crock.  Shortly after he leaves…my friend comes up to me and tells me that the employee checked him as well….Hmm interesting…now I’m not crying foul at this point…but if a situation is random…you’re going to get an accurate count based on the number of students…needless to say that the employee stops with us three…and guess what…we were the ONLY BLACK STUDENTS in the section…hahahahahha….straight hilarious. 

Folks we are not in the 60’s anymore….continue to treat us like we are the red-headed step child…thank you for fuel to the fire…He hasn’t broke us…you are making us. – D.Dew Sr.


Posted by on March 30, 2009 in 1


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Idle Hands…Really????

Have you ever heard the saying that an “idle mind is the devil’s playground”?  I have heard other variations of the saying, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop”…”idle hands are the devil’s playground”….I can continue with a few others, but I’ll stop with these few.  Maybe if I was forced to choose between these few…my preference would be the second of the trilogy.  Whether it was from my parents…teachers…whomever…I seemed to hear this saying quite often growing up.  Back then my maturity level was less than stellar.  I believe I was slightly more mature than many of my peers…but my environment played an enormous factor in shaping the lives of many of my friends.  As I said before I didn’t have this “raised from the gutter” home-life.  I was fortunate to be cultivated from a two-parent household.  That was a luxury that was not afforded to many of my friends.  I lived dead smack in the middle of two major low-income housing projects in my city…so the negavtive influences were plentiful.  The vast majority of my friends lived in the projects…so guess where I wanted to be…not living in the white picket fence…but I wanted to be in the PJ’s (projects) with my friends…I wanted to be in the midst of the thugs…the drugs…the cars…the women…because that is where my people where…my friends…

I had many friends…one of them is still an extremely close friend of mine…you might see him on the blog from time to time…Will…by the way he has a nice blog too (yeah I’m plugging you fam).  I won’t go into any of the exploration that we got into…but needless to say that we both have found ourselves in some very compromising situations together and separately that we were extremely blessed to get out of.  Before I get super side tracked let me reveal the true purpose of this blog….

Many folks can look at the saying that I mentioned several ways.  When I was younger…I thought that folks merely were saying that I needed to stay busy because not doing anything would get me in trouble.  I’m sure that many of you can agree with this assessment.  I actually was going to write this post from this view originally…but as I started to type I came to the realization of this…in many cases staying busy and not idling is an excellent thing..BUT let me give you this little caveat…every now and then we should not look at everything literally…just take a little time to let things saturate us before making a move…or staying busy.

Okay…what does that mean?  How many times have you found yourself smack dab in the middle of some non-sense because you wanted to stay busy.  You didn’t want to be at home bored by yourself.  What I know is this…I was taught we are never doing anything good or important unless what we are doing is for God.

There have been many times in my life where I have thanked God for finally blessing me with my idle hands and my idle mind. I was elated it was Him that also found me in the midst of my idleness the times he did.  If I didn’t hold tight and be bored…whew…

There is a good way to die, and a right time to do it. An odd thought for this time of year — this is the point where the world has meandered back into spring, back into life. The sun is pulling fresh green from the ground again. An odd time to think about death, but as good time as ever to die.- James Lileks

RND 03/02/1978 – 03/29/2008

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Posted by on March 29, 2009 in 1


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Why Settle….

I have had this idea for this particular post for quite some time now.  I just really didn’t know when I was going to write it.  When I write, most of you know I write straight from the heart and I don’t proofread.  However it mistakecomes out, it how it was intended to.  That is the purpose of a blog…right…being real and raw.  I save all the grammatically correct exploits to school and and my novel.  I use this forum as a completely artistic expression…and I just really don’t dig structure on my blog…like I say constantly…thus this is where you get the dysfunction.

As my life continues to evolve, I’m frequently thinking about the direction it has taken.  Never in a million years would I imagine that I would be at this current state…but I’m here and I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I thank God for allowing me to even sit here and share what I am able to share with you (that is a blog for another day…lemme get back on task).

I was up extremely late last night.  I’ve been doing alot of that lately (I’m glad I have ten days of relaxation coming very soon)…really just thinking about relationships…and the course of my life within all the relationships in my life.  As I carefully thought about many of these things…I started to think about Ronya.  Today is March 24, 2009…five days before the year anniversary of her passing away.  I can remember the final week of her on this earth (again this is a post for another day).  This got me to thinking about men and women relationships…and why is it that men settle.  Now ladies…before you give me the business…I just want you to know that I have to speak from a man’s perspective…how we think…how we operate from a carnal and spiritual aspect…

I remember having a conversation on email with a bunch of my boys a few conversationsyears ago.  We were talking about  why do men step outside of relationships…also why do we look for a “younger” woman.  That is also a post for another day…fellas I won’t bust any of you out (hahahaha)…but some of the reasons that my boys outlined are some of the same reasons why men tend to settle on women.  I think that perception is that women settle for men at a higher rate than men…but I feel contrary to this belief…there is a higher rate of men that settle for women then society believes

Fellas, why is it that we seem to settle on a women that is not good for us?  I think that there are a number of reason that we do:

  1. We settle to stroke our ego.  Men have ginormous egos and women have the uncanny ability massage them.
  2. What we “wish” for in a woman is totally unrealistic.  So when a woman is unable to meet those “wishes” we tend to tweak the expectations.  We expect for women to come with all the bells and whistles…sorry fellas…only one person came with all the bells and whistle…and he was a man…Does Jesus ring a bell?
  3. Men are on the rebound.  Fresh out of a relationship/marriage/situation and she is the next woman.
  4. No self-confidence.
  5. Some men are flat out horn dogs.
  6. The next woman just does not Nag.
  7. We are blinded by beauty…or what a woman can do for you..or wont do to you.

That woman that is no good for you brother is a hindrance in your life.  Each and everyone of us has a specific calling in our lives.  The problem is that we as men get side-tracked because of women.  Look at our evolution…and I’m not trying to get preachy right here..but I have already talked about the carnal…not the spiritual (no particular order):

  1. Jezebel.  She worshiped Baal.  She also was a master manipulator.
  2. Salome.  She was responsible for the execution of John the Baptist.  Here infamous words, ” Give me here John Baptist’s head in a charger.”
  3. Eve.  We all know the story.
  4. Delilah.  She was the downfall of Samson.

Fellas my message to you is not to settle.  Let that woman go.  A friend of mine always uses this say, “either you planning or playing” which one is it.  Many women that say that they want to plan really wants you to play.  Don’t fall prey to fools gold.  If a woman is truly for you…then you will know without a doubt.  It won’t be a chore to do this, that and the other.  She will be here not to be your own personal playground…but you confidant, your best friend, your soulmate.  If you can’t tell that woman EVERYTHING about yourself…then she is not for you.  If she doesn’t understand that you have needs just as well as her…doesn’t understand your plight…then LIG  (let it go) it..

Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” – Barbara De Angelis

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Posted by on March 24, 2009 in 1


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The Ultimate Bucket List

Over the course of the last few years I have learned that life is extremely precious.  I think that often we overlook the smallest of details in life because we are so consumed with the material aspect of things.  I know that I am guilty of this from time to time.  One of my biggest downfalls is shopping.  At times I am an impulse buyer.  I use shopping as a therapeutic tool to massage my massive ego at time…and also to sooth my sensitive, emotional side.

Today, as I sat in my office, I could not help but to drift off into this thought of the “circle of life”…how our happiness controls the duration of our life-span.  I began to think about how those moments of misery and negativity that seem to infiltrate my realm constantly is chopping away valuable time I have on this earth.   I began to think about how ignorance breeds negativity…negativity breeds insensitivity…how insensitivity breeds dysfunction…and dysfunction finally contributes to insanity.

I don’t mean for this to be a post that is sad in nature…but a post to make you reflect on what truly is important in your life.  We as people tend to dwell so much in the past…that we run dead into a tree walking.   I have a saying that I use…”I never seen a person win a race by looking backwards”.  People the enemy is busy.  He is at work trying to break-up families…destroy homes…plant seeds of doubt in relationship…He is attempting to run calamity and disorder all throughout our lives.  The thing is though…we claim that the enemy is a lie…but we continue to fall for the banana in the tailpipe everytime.  The enemy is a one trick pony…and he gets it off on us each time. Sometimes we just need to let things go…forgive…Jesus paid the ultimate price for us…He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”    He still was asking forgiveness for those who put him to death. More widely, of course, the plea was for all humanity…but we have the audacity to hold grudges…hmmm

Wow I got all off track of what I was truly posting about.  This post was about Bucket List.  What I wanted to do and achieve before I leave here.  I thought about it…and here are a few things I want to accomplish in not particular order:

  • Finish my novels
  • Create a non-profit organization for inner-city youth
  • Fall in love again
  • Go to a SuperBowl
  • Visit Lambeau Field
  • Go to Paris
  • Meet Barack Obama
  • Complete my Doctorate in History and my MBA
  • See my children off to college

What are some of the things you would like to do or accomplish…..

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. – Henry David Thoreau


Posted by on March 20, 2009 in Nothing about Nothing, Relationships, Religious


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Time to Take Back the Take Back….

…today was a slightly different morning for me then what is usually is.  With making these lifestyle adjustments…my life has been extremely different lately.  I have really re-dedicated my life to living fit.  I know I have talked about this before, but it is crazy in just four-weeks time how my energy levels are out the roof.  Let me get on track now to my purpose of this post.

I know for me…I’ve documented well how busy I am on a daily basis.  What has happened is that some things in my life took a back seat.  It was imperative that I prioritized everything accordingly.  Now I’m at the stage where it is time to “take back the take back”.  Everything that has been lacking in my life it is time to get in order.  I’m a firm believer in that there is a season for everything.  Now is my time to do some spring cleaning.  Everything that looks good is not good for you…and in turn things that actually don’t look good can be the best thing for you.  Go figure???

Time to take back what is rightfully mine…


Posted by on March 17, 2009 in Me


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No Rest for the Weary….

…I’m telling you folks…I am tired…with a capital T-I-R-E-D…being sick is flu31something else.  Thanks to #1, I have been in the ring with a severe case of some virus that was on crack!  I’ve been down for over a week and I am JUST now bouncing back.  One thing I have learned during this ordeal…time does not stay still.  Regardless of the fact…you gotta still keep it moving.  I’m telling you…some days attempting to crawl out of the bed (well I guess pull out of the floor…because I have a king size pillow top bed that I don’t sleep in…but that is a post for another day) was simply a chore.  I was able to hit the gym the first couple of days, but after that…hahaha…the gym was like a four-letter word with only three-letters.

This week I am cramming for two finals…I have two papers due and one other test…so you can guess what is going down.  There is just one week left in the quarter before spring break and then I am off until the 31st of March so I’m looking forward to that.

I haven’t posted in a few days so I just wanted to check in…miss ya…Ooh…I’m almost at 10,000 hits…all I can say is WOW…and thank you so much for all the support!!!!

Being sick really sucks – D. Dew Jr.

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Posted by on March 10, 2009 in Me


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My New Found Addiction…

…well let my son tell it…I’m addicted to being “fresh”.  I just laugh everytime he says that to me.  The other day my son and I were talking about the boildifference from being confident, cocky, and conceited.  This little dude is so conceited it is ridiculous.  He actually got really upset with me because I told him he was.  It was funny…my son is extremely light-skinned and when he gets upset he turns this funny red color…aww man I wish you could have seen it…he was bubbling over like a pot of boiling water.

Back to the orginal subject though…I’m addicted to eating healthy.  I never thought that I would be at the point to giving up soda, snacks (even though I don’t eat a lot of them) would be second nature.  Since making this lifestyle100-calorie-packs change…incorporating intense excercise with healthy eating, I have discovered 100 Calorie Nabisco Packs.  I first thought that they would be kind of gross.  I mean snacks that are merely 100 calories does just not seem to be civilized or even possible.  When I think of snacks (and I have a friend that can second this notion…hahaha) I think of the fatest of ice creams…some cakes and pies…I think of gettin my Wimpy on…gladly paying you on Tuesday for a hamburger today. I love these snacks like a fat kid loves cake.

Every since I have incorporated the two (eating healthy and exercise)…I feel much better.  Am I still the hardest working man on this side of the Mason Dixon Line…probably so…but what I have realized is that if I don’t change some of my working and eating habits…I won’t be around to reap the benefits of all this hardwork.

Time is the most precious element of human existence. The successful person knows how to put energy into time and how to draw success from time.- Dennis Waitley


Posted by on March 4, 2009 in My Children, Nothing about Nothing


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