….as most of you know who read my blog on a daily basis know that my brain is like this dysfunctional 20 lane highways that has a ton of twist and turns in it. Even though it goes a mile a minute, it is like organized chaos. Even throughout all the twist and turns, I seem to stay pretty focused until today. I pride myself on keeping my composure at all times….again until today.
I had all intentions of writing the next installment of my blog from yesterday and also the typical Confessional Friday post…well I guess this can actually be a confession of some sort. I was at my college’s bookstore today to pickup my books for the fall term. Well all the lines were long as all get it. A ton of people…and I did not really feel like being bothered. I grabbed my books, all except for one. I remembered that my sons mother took this communication class last term, so I called her to see if she still had the book….BINGO, I have action, she still had it….so that is one less book that I had to buy. Okay, after maneuvering through all these folks to the checkout line, man the lines seemed longer than those that be at an amusement park on a hot summer day. I’m in the line right…..and out of the corner of my eye I see somebody I really didn’t want to see. I’m saying to myself, “self…hide m’fer” (ahahaha, maybe I should have not thought that but it is what it is). I really did not feel like being bothered and especially with this bug-a-boo. So what do I do….hide like a mug. My confession…I do it all the time…I just don’t want to be bothered. I ignore people when they call my name…or I pretend like I don’t even see them. People can get on my nerves sometimes…
Anywho, like I said this was supposed to be part two, but I had one of those highway traffic jam moments while I was in the line waiting. I was looking at some of the school supplies and then all of a sudden I started to think about my wife. Instantly I start to well up. I’m trying to keep my composure because it is literally hundereds of folks in the place. The more I tried to contain myself, the harder it became. I started to think about the last days she was here on earth, her last words….her last breath. All those emotions came running back. I was thinking about when I left the hospital after she passed, I couldn’t take her belongings in the house. They stayed in the car for quite some time. I started to think about how many people called me and left messages in just a matter of hours. I turned my phone and my voicemail was filled to capacity. Even as I type now, I’m hit with emotions…but that word “move” just popped back into my head….I get to that in a second…that is crazy how that happens….my intent for this blog when I started to type 5 minutes ago was something totally different….back to my situation today. I was trying to figure out for the life of me where was all this emotion is coming from…then it hit me…it is the 29th…since she passed March 29th….every 29th I get hit with emotions. It is like her way of letting me know she is still with me…..
When I think of move in this situation….I think of passing through…overcome comes to mind. The act of moving is not only physical it is mental as well. See I’m in the midst of passing though a situation….pressing on towards an ultimate goal. If we don’t move past our past…we will never pass through to our future. Remember all….you have to go through so calamity in order to pass through an ordeal. God has so much in store for us, we just need to move….okay…I don’t know where that came from, but be blessed all….so I guess this is part 2 of ???