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Monthly Archives: February 2009

Who Can You Trust

It is crazy how things always seem to manifest.  Sometimes I just sit back a marvel over the actions of people (especially the ones that I trust).  Okay, let me preface this by stating it is Saturday and I rarely post in the weekends.  My weekends are typically consumed with class, church, cleaning, running errands and a tad bit of shopping.  #2 has been out of school sick for over a week (since last Friday to be exact). She had strep throat and an ear infection…on top of that there have been several cases of the “whooping cough” in her school and throughout of the system.  I decided to post today to liberate my mind.

Just because of who I am (not that I am that important), who I know and what I do there is an extremely high volume of people that I deal with on a consistent basis.  The thing is though people…I DO NOT TRUST EASY..point blank.  I rarely let folks infiltrate my inner circle of people…but once you are there…I open myself up.  I’m not speaking in a male-female relationship, but I’m talking about in general….whoever you are…If I trust you then I hold you in high esteem.  Well over the course of the last day or so…I’ve been betrayed by folks that I really, really elevated and it pisses me off(excuse me).  My take on the situations is that how can you be in the wrong but play the victim…hahahaha….WOW (there goes that marveling thing).

I’m in the “shock and awe” stage of this right now.  I guess I am practicing the art of controlling my smiles and cries.  I just have to shake my head on this one gang…putting stock in people will have you jacked up.  Only God people…only God!

Never let anyone outside the family know what you’re thinking. – Marlon Brando (The Godfather)

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2009 in 1

 

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Enough Already…

…here we are again folks.  I’m sitting here at the same table yet superstock_1614r-1255AGAIN…trying to make sense of certain situations.  I know that I can’t play God (nor I don’t want to try), but things seem to happen in my life.  I have had this post written for quite some time now.  I was just really wondering when was the opportune time to release it.  I guess I got my answer the other day…walk with me for a second folks…

One thing I love to do is talk (I get that from my dude Bertha…that cat can go…love ya fam!)…if I have something to say…best believe you are gonna hear what I have to say…does not matter…good…bad…or indifferent…David is gonna say what David is going to say.  As usual I was chopping it up with a good friend of mine and she stated that there are holes in my blog…which I responded too in my typical manner by telling her to shut up…but really what she is saying was true…she knows my situation…she knows my family…she has been around my family…so she knows that I am only giving bits and pieces of my plight.  She stated that by reading my blogs she can personally see my growth, but she felt like I had much more to offer people by being more detailed and transparent…I took into consideration what she said and it has helped me arrive to this point of releasing some post that I were holding on too.

I was holding on to these post for a number of reasons…first of which…man do I really want my business out there like that…second…who would really care about this cat from Ohio talking about his personal dysfunction like that…third…are people really ready to hear what I have to say…and finally the most selfish of reasons…I really want to put some of this in my book…lol.

I came to this conclusion after meticulously weighing  all of these options…there has to be someone out here in this ginormous place we call cyberspace that needs to hear what I am saying….

It has just been about one-year now since Ronya has passed.  Through all of the peaks and valleys…I have still stayed strong…although I did stray and sway…God has the uncanny ability to place me right back on track.  Many people have asked me when is the right time to move on…i.e…start to date again…that is a difficult question to ask…because it is just where the individual is at…see my situation is kind of quirky…even though Ronya did pass away unexpectedly…she had prepared me for her death…she told me EXACTLY what she expected and wanted for me…I was able to grieve and cope at a much faster rate than some…This helped me tremendously…also knowing that my baby is not in any pain anymore helped exponentially.

People want to know….does David have a love interest yet…hmm that isg_romeo_studio_oliveira_ramos_love_eyes_700s a great question…the truth of the matter is this…David has dated…David has talked…it has be specualted that David has a woman…that David is engaged…you would think that I was running for the US Senate with the amount of scrutiny I get from this…so with all that being said David is doing something…BUT David will not share that yet…hahahaha…you gotta stay tuned…

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2009 in Me

 

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you have to l.i.g. it….

_letting_go_by…this is one thing I tell my children about all the time…you have to LIG it…what does that mean you say…it means to LET IT GO.  Sometimes we as people (I know that I am guilty) have to let it go.  Chalk things up to exactly what it is…you take to much out of a situation and over-analyze it…then you are subject to make a bigger deal out of the situation.  It is what it is…nothing more…nothing less.

I think the vast majority of us do not practice this on a consistent basis…thus many of us have stress levels that are through the roof.  I know as for me…I attempt to the best of my ability to LIG it…but if I am crossed…it is extremely hard for me to let it go…I mean I can forgive…but I can’t seem to forget.  So let me pose this question to you…if I don’t forget…did I truly forgive?

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. – Thich Nhat Hanh

 
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Posted by on February 24, 2009 in Nothing about Nothing

 

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If i had more hair…i would pull it out!!

It has been two weeks to the day since my last post.  Even though I have written several posts, I haven’t had the desire to release any of them (I guess that is part of my dysfunction rearing its ugly head). You know that it is just a time and place for everything…not that I have all these jar-dropping, earth-shattering revelations…but timing is everything…so I decided to scale back on these.  Now, you know that I was not ignoring you…I was working the kinks out.

I’ve really been working on the character development on this novel…I know that once I nail them…the sky is the limit…I have went back to the drawing board a few times on it…but I now know the true direction of them. I can’t wait to share it with you.

Life as a single-father has been what it is…ROUGH…I mean I am handling it…so I don’t complain…What is it that they say…women have done it for years…so that doesn’t make me any different…adapt and adjust…dealing with my #1 and #2…can be a challenge…and ooh yeah…they love to test me.  They know I’m like a big ‘ol dog…I bark a whole lot…but at the end of the I rarely do anything.  I think they are accustomed to it and play chicken with me (with them usually winning). I bet in the back of their devious minds they are cracking up at my expense (hell I laugh at myself at times too).

I have alot on my mind…one thing I am learning…a tiger can’t change its stripes…and I have had somethings from my past fall out of the closet…ooh boy did it…but that is a story for another day…I have much to share…so little time…talk later…

 

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Chronicles of a first-time book writer

…as many of you know I am currently writing a novel…actually I am writing two…like I said before I would love to give you guys a so called play by play bookaccount of my highs and lows as I go down this emotional roller coaster…so today will be my first installment of  (drum roll please)……..Chronicles of a first-time book writer….or CFTBW for short…

The other day while I was going through some things I happened to come across some of Ronya’s writings before she became extremely sick.  She was actually writing her story…I really didn’t look at it because I don’t really think that I am at the point where I can truly handle reading those words (maybe I need to start therapy back…at least that what folks tell me)…I think when it is all said and done I will intertwine our writings somehow so her writing was not in vain (I gotta pray on that one).4731praying-hands-posters

I’ve been working on character development and also my partner has been brainstorming some book cover ideas.  I think this project is about to sprout by leaps and bounds.  I get kinda nervous about the book….just on the strength that I know that I am a writer…but I write without structure.  I dont proofread…I dont use punctuation…spell check…proofread…so this definitely out the box for me.  I’m not too much worried about if folks will like it or not…I know that I have a story to tell and it will reach who it needs to reach.  Who knows…but I do know that it will all happen in God’s timing…

I’m ready for this journey folks…..walk with me….

A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown. – Denis Waitley

 
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Posted by on February 12, 2009 in Chronicles of a First-Time Book Writer

 

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Different…really???

Today is one of those days where I need the day to be somewhat about 32 hours long.  It is like I have 14 hours of work to complete…but only 8 available hours to complete it….so I guess I’m needing to put that cape back on for a second (hahaha).

I really dont have much to talk about…but I did read a comment today that I thought was really profound…”Although I am different…that doesn’t make me deficient.” Wow I think that those are some magnificent words.

I leave you with this…know when and when not to conform…be proficient not deficient!

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. -Teddy Roosevelt

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2009 in Nothing about Nothing

 

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have you ever….

…had a case of the blahs…yeah that is kinda where I am this morning.  I guess after a week of total non-stop madness that will do it to you.  It is something about mental and emotional over physical.  What I mean by that, it is extremely easy for me to bounce back from physical fatigue, but being mentally beat in the brain sometimes is overwhelming…it is harder for me to bounce back from that (well I guess for anybody being beat in the brain it would be difficult).

I think that this is one of the times when I have to press through my weariness…even though I really don’t even feel like it.  I was thinking the other day about how time really has flew by…I started to think about this time last year…and I couldn’t help but to think about Ronya.  You know that this is extremely hard to do about this time of the year for me.  It will be two years since my biological father passed away on the 15th of Feb….Ronya’s birthday is at the beginning of March and she passed away shortly there after…so I really am trying to stay focused.  I think back to last Valentine’s Day…well for those of you that know me…know that I DO NOT do Hallmark Holidays….so Valentine’s Day and that other crap is just so not on my radar…and I purchased Ronya a teddy bear and a necklace…I really dont know what made me get it for her…maybe because she was in the hospital and I wanted to lift her spirits….I dunno.

This is just an emotional time of the year for me…I was just consumed with memories of Ronya…it is just hard to imagine her not here…but it was her time to go…so I cherish those memories and hold them tight.  I miss my wife…I miss my father…two things guaranteed in life…taxes and death.

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.” – Pope John Paul VI

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2009 in Me

 

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