Tag Archives: Family

Delayed…But Not Denied Part II

                Seems like it has been forever in a day since I have been able to write a blog…well I guess because it has been forever in a day since my last post. Lately God has been removing many things from my life…of course for my good, but when God is whipping you into shape…at times it can be overwhelming…but through it all…His grace is sufficient to sustain us through each phase of our journey.

                 I remember a story that I heard about 10 years ago.  I was listening to a sermon from T.D. Jakes and he began to speak on denial.  There was a young boy…ummm I would say around 13 or 14 years old.  His father had a pocket watch he so desperately wanted.  The pocket watch was an heirloom passed down from father to his oldest son at the age of 16.  The son was excited because he knew in a few short years that the watch would be his.  As the day approached closer and closer to his 16th birthday, the boy was brimming with excitement.  Sometimes when the father would sleep…the last boy would go in his father’s room and try on the watch.  Finally, it was the boys 16th birthday and it was his time to receive the watch.  His birthday came and went…but his father never game him the watch.  The son thought that maybe his father just forgot about the watch…until he seen his father still wearing the watch every day.

                A few years went passed and the son actually despised the watch.  What was so special about the watch that his father didn’t give it to him?  His father received the watch on his 16th birth date…just like his grand-father and great grand-father…but why not him?  Another year or two goes passed and it is the son’s 21st birthday.  His father walks in his room and sits on the bed next to his son.  His father begins to talk to him about life.  Meanwhile, mid conversation he hands his son a box.  The son opens the box and it is the watch.  Astonished and amazed…the son is speechless.  Before the son could even say a word his father says to him, “Son, I waited to give you this watch.  Not because you did not deserve it, not because it is not yours, but because you were not ready.”

                This is what God does to us…a delay in the outcome doesn’t mean that there is a denial with the blessing.  Often God wants us in position to receive what He has in store for us.  If He gives it to us sooner than we are supposed to have it…we will never began to appreciate the importance of the gift that He has entrusted us with.  Through our immaturity, we will either not nurture it properly or completely neglect it. What I have learned over time…age does not signify maturity…it is merely a barometer that gets you one day closer to death.  True maturity is quantified by actions.

                So…the next time you want something extremely bad and don’t receive it…If God promised it to you…it is yours…but in due time.  Be great stewards over small things…and He will make you a steward over many.  See even though God knows the outcome…it is you that must make the correct decisions in life.  Place yourself firmly rooted in God’s promise…remember a delay is not necessarily a denial…sometimes it just means…not right now!

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Posted by on April 29, 2013 in Change


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Have you ever loved…

…someone or something so much that it makes you cry?  Boy…I tell you…that is the absolute case for me.  A few short weeks ago decided to take a trip down memory lane.  It was about four in the morning and for some reason I found myself stuck…literally could not sleep.  For the life of me I couldn’t understand why, because I had been up over 24 hours.  During the midst of my wake apnea (a phrase I coined a while ago for insomnia) I strolled over to my PC…one that  I hadn’t logged on in probably six to eight months…and even then I just used the Microsoft Office apps.

As I shifted through the “my documents” folder, I began to lose myself in the moment.  I made the choice to open EVERY single file on this computer.  Clicking the folders one by one I arrived at my very first class I attended once I re-enrolled in college…ENG 111.  Wow…even though this class was about five years ago, I remember everything about it…at least I thought…then it happened.  I clicked on the my second paper I wrote…Reading the paper, I instantly began to tear up until the bottom of my eyelids overflowed to the brim with tears…each tear drop flowed from both of my eyes like a rushing stream.  In this moment…all I could think of is him…the man that I loved more than any other man on this planet…My Father…My Dad…My Best-Friend…the man that wasn’t my biological father…but you couldn’t tell me that wasn’t my dad…the man that has helped shape the very being on the person typing the blog….let me share with you a small excerpt of this paper….

My father is far from perfect…but everything that he did to me, he always had my best interest at heart.  I absolutely love him for that.  I am going to take the core values my father instilled in me and teach my son.  I hope with what I learned from my father, my son will be a better person than me and my father combined.

What makes this so special is that my father…he succumbed to issues of the heart and went on to glory just a few short months ago.  Over the course of my collegiate life I have written hundreds of papers…and this one here…I will hold deep down in the depths of my heart.  Understand this people…time will not wait for no single person.  Cherish each moment as it was your last.  Love more than you want to breathe…If I could would love breath back into my father’s body…

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Posted by on January 23, 2013 in Change


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Even Grown Folks Throw Tantrums….

I glance back now to see where I came from…

I can’t believe I’m two terms away from my degrees now…and yea I did say degrees…#dualmajor

Especially after my wife died…

That period sucked…

BUT God has been on my side…and I have a BUNCH of prayer warriors praying for me when I was weak and didn’t wanna pray….

And was mad at God…

But through my mess…He still blessed me

He allowed me to throw my little tantrum…then He politely whipped my tail for being outta line…

That is what parents do…they allow children to get away with a few things…and then spring that punishment on them…

And ooh boy…did I do me…

God sent some beautiful people in my life to attempt to keep me in line….

But how you do you keep something that really doesn’t wanna be kept…

So I remember the last time my wife came to me in my dream….

She was furious at me…and my behavior…because up to this point it was about me…it had been about everybody else previously

I guess I was thinking it was finally my turn to be about me…

Ooh wow she gave me the business..and then told me that I was disappointing her…that’s why “you get what you got”

Now it is all clicking….I’m walking…still not all the way there yet….

I’m destined for my destiny….

I’m getting it right…but I guess I needed to get it wrong first…

To truly appreciate my life…

My life was like a reckless abandoned

Now its more like the prodigal son…

Was on my knees…bent over…about to eat…then he called me…

I came to my senses…

I am my DADDY’S son…

I’m making it…

I smile now…thinking back…to lose my father…and wife within a year of each other…

That’s why I never judge…you never know the next person’s story…

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Posted by on June 23, 2012 in Twolgs


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Know your own strength…

This was initially supposed to be a small Facebook status, but the more I typed…the more came out, so I decided to share this with everyone.

Probably the realest status I’ve ever posted. For four years now the months of February and March has given me a different set of emotional issues. It was February when my dad died and march when wife died. As I set in traffic on the highway listening to this gospel playlist…a song that was sang at Ronya’s funeral came on…I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT AGAIN WITHOUT JUST BREAKING DOWN…but today no tears…no breakdown…just a smile.

Psalms 30:5….weeping may endureth the night but joy cometh in the morning.

My night might have been a little longer than others…but my Sun did shine. So with all this being said family…press through your storm. Don’t give up. It’s all in God’s perfect plan and divine timing. Don’t be scared of a little rain. All plants need water to grow. Understand this…if you are not dead…it made you stronger. You must recognize and utilize the strength that you now have. There
is not much worse in the entire world than not knowing your own strength.

Be blessed all and have a tremendous day. This might be the only time someone hears this today…hey you!….yeah you…I LOVE YOU.


Posted by on March 15, 2012 in Change, Me, Motivational Thursday, Religious


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Can you miss your…date with destiny???

I’m actually pondering that question as I type.   Can you miss your date destiny?  I’m not sure of the answer to that question…but one thing that I know for sure and two for certain…by the end of this post I’ll know exactly what it is that I need to know.  Today is already kind of different.  First off, you know that it has been extremely long since last I’ve posted.  Like normal…I must apologize for my tardiness…but I always say…I might be delayed…but I’m never denied. Ooh yeah…one more thing…FYI I don’t edit my writings…I do enough of that at school.  Back to regularly scheduled programming which is already in progress…. Can you miss your date destiny?  Well…can you? 

Over the course of the last few weeks I have encountered some sleepless nights…as usual my life has been overwhelming demanding.  Lets see…it’s finals week at school…I’ve taken a basketball head coaching position (at a middle school) and football…whew football has been crazy to say the least.  Of course I must apologize for my neglect…actually let me say that I’m sorry.  I’m not a fan of people saying, “I apologize”…that just seems like a thank you text message…really informal, that is done out of obligation opposed to sincerity.  When one says that they are “sorry” it just feels more genuine…heart-felt.  Can you miss your date with destiny?

Okay, background…the high school football team that I coach in my city made the state high school playoffs in Ohio.  In Ohio that is a big deal when a school makes the playoffs because there are roughly 800-900 schools that participate in sanctioned football and only 190 of these schools qualify to participate in the playoffs.  On top of that…my school earned a home playoff game.  In all the years of football existence…no public high school in my city has ever hosted a playoff game…so this was history in the making.  Secondly, my team was playing the #2 ranked team in the entire state in our division.  Doubly as important.  What makes this even more significant is that our school is in the inner city of Dayton and anyone who knows about demographics knows about my city.   Even though my school is not the only high school in the city, we carried the entire weight of our city on our backs.  See to many people in Dayton, this was more than just your average run of the mill game…it was BIGGER.  It was the underprivileged, misguided, poor, non-disciplined, inner city community…against the BULLY…the judgmental, privileged, disciplined, wealthy Catholic school community.  Your classic David versus Goliath.  Black versus white. 

Can you miss your date with destiny?  Let me fast –forward because I can really see this post getting out of hand and me missing the entire purpose of the blog…maybe even missing destiny huh?  Back to the game…both teams came out extremely focused and it was an epic battle…the lead was changed or shared several time…but at the end of the night…it was my team that upset the #2 ranked team in the state and pandemonium ensued.  This was only the third playoff win for the entire school district in over 75 years of high school football.  The shockwaves that this victory sent across the state was insane.  No matter where I went that following week…I was greeted with nothing but respect and admiration for this tremendous feat.  Okay…here I go folks…I’m really getting off track…promise I got you….

We advanced to the second round of the playoffs and we were in uncharted territory…win this game and we would accomplish something that no other Dayton Public School has not…advance to the third round of the playoffs.  This week of preparation was like no other.  Our children knew the significance of winning this game.  We were locked…loaded and focused.  It was only one thing that stood in the way off our date with destiny…the #1 ranked team in our region.  Be patient now…it’s game-time and now its time to cash-in on all of our hardwork, the blood, sweat and tears since January.  Destiny is on the other side of the window and she is looking awfully beautiful.  Our team took control of the game early and raced out to a 13-0 halftime lead.  All appeared to be well.  We’ve preached to our children all season…to be great you must be willing to go above and beyond…one must be able to tread in uncharted territories in confidence and impose its will.  Can you miss your date with destiny?

Follow me now…life is about focus and adjustments.  It’s never how one starts…its how one finishes.  Typically, the person that makes the least amount of mistakes…learns from the mistakes that they’ve made…adjusts and be able to withstand adversity will always be victorious.  Back to the game…without warning…we started to make uncharacteristic mistakes…we started to forget assignments…we began to play unfocused…and our opponent began to play more consistent…and via our mistakes…they exuded more confidence.  They made halftime adjustments.  As the minutes ticked off the clock our lead dwindled until the score was tied going into the fourth quarter.  We were 12 minutes away from dancing with our destiny.  With the weight of the city on our shoulders again…we slugged back and forth with the #1 team.  Like a #1 team should…their greatness began to radiate.  The adjustments that they made started to manifest even deeper…and our lack of adjusting began to be exploited.  Finally, with less than 4 minutes to play, they took the lead 20-13.  Now our backs are against the wall and we must mount a drive to win the game…we are fighting and clawing all the way down the field.  And with less than two seconds in the game we have the ball on 4th down at our opponent’s 2 yard line to tie the game.  We ran the play and our running back gets the ball…and in a controversial call…our running back was deemed to had fumbled the ball before he crossed the goaline and the other team recovered the ball…there you have it…we lost.  Stunned, dejected, hurt, wounded and angry…our date with destiny stood us up.

Where am I going with this…see in life one is presented with opportunities.  It is the choices that one makes…it is the decisions that they make when adversity strikes.  The true character of a person is not determined at the time of the test…that is a life-long misconception…the true character of a person is determined at the time of the pop quiz.  Does that make sense?  You might or might not agree but let me tell you this…One has time to prepare for a test…but how does one perform during a sudden change?  When adversity strikes how well do you perform…are you able to stand strong…adjust and re-focus?  Destiny is a part of life…we are all destined for something…but it is our decision making or lack thereof that causes us to miss out on our destiny AT the original appointed time.  

So can you miss your date with destiny?  My answer is no…you can’t miss your date with destiny…sometimes she just decides to change the date to another day…


Posted by on November 17, 2011 in Change


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Addition by Subtraction…

Like usual folks when the mood hits me to write I’m generally at some different type of emotional state. I’ve said it countless times…I’m most definitely an emotional being. Unless its academically influenced its extremely difficult for me in this season of my life to just have at it and write…not sure where down the line that happened…but I figure while this season is in session im gonna roll with it. For me the past few days have been somewhat emotionally draining…but that’s my life and I’ve learned how to adjust to these days…AND NO I’m not bipolar or mentally unstable…I have all my marbles and my elevator goes all the way up to the top floor…but these are the life and times of  David Dew Sr.

Chance…one thing is for certain and another is definite…absolutely nothing happens by chance and there is a rhyme, reason and purpose for everything under the sun.
Funny how purpose reveals itself…I was walking through the store tonight and I started to think about my life…when I was hit with the motivation I assumed that this would be another reflection post…in a way it is but slightly shifted a bit…Addition by Subtraction, I thought I was done with this series but…

Life…is full of unexpected twist and turns and its our job to navigate through these obstacles with grace and diligence. I believe I’m gonna be transparency for a sec or so. Somebody once told me…”Dew you didn’t ask to to through what you’ve been through.” That’s a true statement. For the vast majority of us…we never ask for what we go through…but that event…situation…person or whatever it may be has purpose in your life. Even if we don’t initially see it…or understand why…that purpose was on purpose to serve its purpose.  Think about that for a second and I will come back to it.

Transparent…I remember after Ronya died there was a point in time where I had to focus…looking back now I really don’t believe it was focus…I was in shock. There were certain things I needed to do that was critical for the survival of my family. It was pertinent that I have tunnel vision. If I hadn’t only God knows where we would’ve been if I didn’t. Then it happened…the calm…the idleness after the storm. I was forced to address issues. Reality at times can be a harsh teacher. I can remember the week after she passed, we had a routine…I would leave church, walk in the parking lot, call her at the hospital and ask what she wanted to eat…every single Sunday I did that. So now service is over…I walk to the lot and pull out my phone to call her…and then it hit me…she’s gone. WOW…what do you do…I’m literally standing in the middle of the lot with a phone in my hand not knowing my next move…IN LIFE. Reality bites! Humans are creatures of habit…my routine is broken…what do I do? My wife was an enormous part of my life. Time…what’s gonna occupy that time now? Where do I go? How do you continue? Can I even get there?

Purpose…everything has purpose. There was a point in time I didn’t wanna be here. I just wanted die. No I wasn’t suicidal…but I just wanted to be gone. I went from this vibrant person…full of personality…to not caring. I managed my department at work. I stopped brushing my hair…I would wear a uniform to work didn’t matter if it was clean or dirty…I would wear these old beat to Hell Timberland boots to work with no shoestrings. I went to work late…it was a chore to get out of bed. When I got to work I would just go straight to my office and shut the door. I can remember taking lunch for 2-3 hours…I could care less. If it wasn’t for my three children I probably would have melted into obscurity. It was them that I now lived for…I no longer lived for myself…true story. If it wasn’t for them…I don’t think I would be here writing this blog. My children served a purpose in my life. They were the catalyst that rekindled my flame.

Obstacles…life is filled with them. Adversity comes via many means. What does one do when the obstacle comes…does one fight or flee? Is it what’s for me will be for me? Move…stay still…move while standing still? When these “barrier” moments arrive one presses. You see that obstacle has purpose. The problem is we focus so hard on the obstacle to we actually trip right over it. The focus should not be the obstacle…but what comes after we overcome the barrier. Watch me now…

Addition by subtraction…I had to go through that purpose in my life to serve my purpose. Ronya was a purpose…she completed her work on this earth. When I STOPPED focusing on what I no longer had (subtraction) God provided me with a series of  beautiful people in my life (addition). He gave me a second lease on life. I went through the purpose to become a better man…to become a better husband…to become a better father…to walk in my destiny. So when I marry this time…I won’t be tripped by the same obstacles.

Where am I going with this…FAITH. Before one can truly overcome an obstacle, one first must believe. One must have FAITH. See the thing is…I could not prosper because my focus was on my situation…not my solution. My solution resided in the Lord. Once I placed my FAITH in Him I was able to overcome….Isaiah 53: 4-5… 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our otransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.


Posted by on August 28, 2011 in Change, Family, Me, Religious


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Wants…Needs…Amenities,Necessities and Cake Batter

Again…it’s been quite some time since I’ve put pen to pad…fingers to keys or whatever you want to call it, and it seems like this is actually starting to become habitual…this on again and off again thing that I have with writing.  I dunno what it call it…maybe a form of neglect.  It’s funny because I bet my last few post have started this way…hell maybe even more…I guess I’ve fell into that trap of being consistently inconsistent…GO FIGURE!

I’ve wanted to write, but I guess my time obligation outweighed my desire to actually write, or I am just plum lazy.  Whichever (is that a word?) the case, it’s all an excuse and we know what they say about excuses…yep we all have one, just some are bigger than others.  Ha Ha Ha…my dry attempt at humor.

Where shall I start…hmmm I know exactly where, this had been a different week for me…I’m finishing up the Summer Term (can’t believe that I’m merely quarters away from receiving my degree’s…been a journey and a half), football practice has consumed my life, school is starting for #1 and #2…ooh and also dealing with an irritating health issue (which sucks) but I’m good.  For much is given…much is required.

As usual my writing is sparked by an action, even or thought and this time is no different.  As I am reading this book for class I was hit with a thought that I placed on FB…

God gives us exactly what we need; we just focus too often on that we think we want.  Continue to focus on the package and you will never appreciate the contents.  Stop settling…like a cake…does one’s concentration lie in the batter residue or the finished product?  Your destiny…control it!

I really drowned myself in this statement.  I know I have wrote things similar to this before, but I will allow my thoughts to do what they do and I pray that someone is moved by these words…

See the thing is people, God gives us the keys, He gives us the outlet but we love to shackle ourselves.  We concentrate on the what if’s and the its not fair’s…or the I feel like this or that’s…hell sometimes even the why me’s…but it’s after the fact we focus on situations from a positive perspective.  I believe it is an innate action to point the fingers initially before we ever take responsibility.  Also, what we consider the easy way out in all actuality is the most difficult way out.  Yeah it is more than one way to skin a cat…but quickest way from A to Z is thru J.  Walk with me for a second…John 8:12 says…When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” It’s thru Jesus where things are revealed but we rather retreat to our understanding.  That’s why things continue to happen…we severe ties with the Electric Company (Jesus) and rather light candles (us).  Okay…lemme back off that one because I can take off on it.

The basis of this blog is too speak on NEEDS opposed to wants…NECESSETIES opposed to amenities.  We as people get these things so twisted.  It’s great to want things, but one can’t live a successful life off wants.  Wants are superficial and eventually become detrimental.  For instance, I can want some fast food, but can I truly live off fast food.  Eventually, over time eating that way will deteriorate my health…but its needs that I prosper off of.  There are certain things that one’s body need in order to survive…you following me?  There is a distinct difference in the two…wants and amenities make me happy..that is what you search for in a hotel…but necessities and needs bring me joy…it is what my spirit searches for.  One of these are temporary enjoyment…the other is eternal bliss…discern.

Package…package…package.  To obtain something great one must endure something horrific (now the degree might be different).  If one never experience adversity, how can one stand firm when needed.  The package I say…we as people have a package mentality instead of content spirit…meaning this…many of us are shallow because we fear contents…not because we are actually scared, but because we are mentally immature and incapable of dealing with success.  If we ever “grow up” and realize that contents for outweigh the package, then out needs will flourish.

Lemme tie all of this into the previous statement.  When we bake a cake…we taste the batter to see if something is missing…correct?  We might add a pinch of this or a dash of that if it is not up to our specifications.  We worry about the contents and the finished product.  A great baker just doesn’t place a cake in the oven because there are no lumps in the batter…that would be foolish…everything in life is about contents…not the packaging.

If one shifts its focus from wants to needs, then they will receive that is for them…until then they will continue to bake cakes with lumpy batter…


Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Change


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