Monthly Archives: December 2011

Sometimes it is the Hardest Thing to do…

…letting a person go.  Every so often…and I am willing to bet a dollar to a dime that we all come to a point when we must end a “ship” in our life.  Some are easier than other to walk away from.  Today, I was faced with an ultimate decision…should I keep a person in my life…or should I continue to subscribe to these internal emotions that I have suppressed on the inside of me and ignored for an extraordinary amount of time.  Before I made the decision a number of things entered into my mind (and I will come back to this at another point).

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Just the other day I wrote a post about Seasons, Reasons, and Lifetimes.  The crazy thing is…I was oblivious to the fact that this blog would come back and speak to me.  Life is an amazing thing I tell you.  People in your life are even more amazing.  Just take a moment to think about all the people who you encounter on a daily basis…how many people you pour into physical, mentally, emotionally, spiritually…and vice versa…people that do the same things to you.  The number is quite alarming.  The funny thing is…at times we don’t even have a clue that we accomplish these things for others.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.Raymond Lindquist

Sometimes the hardest thing to do…is letting a person go.  Pulling the trigger on a “ship” is like a game of never-ending tug-of-war…it doesn’t seem like anyone would be victorious.  It’s like you are playing this balancing act between your heart and mind…and anytime that is the case…you’re in trouble.  The heart can make the mind feel something it can’t understand…and the mind can make the heart understand something that it can’t feel (think about that for a second). but just because a person is riding your bus, doesn’t mean that they are to get off at your bus stop.  That goes back to slotting people accordingly.  I believe life is about many things…but a fundamental attribute to living is joy and being successful via making the correct decisions.  Choosing the right people to encompass you is a slippery slope…one must have a strong sense of discernment.  If you can’t discern properly, that is how seasonal people get lifetime privileges.

“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.” – The Wonder Years

Remember this…when progressing in life…have the ability to make the correct cuts.  Removing folks out of your life is not mean…it is necessary for progression.  Example if you are a recovering drug addict…chances for full-blown recovery are better if you associate yourself with people who are not addicted to drugs.  It is foolish to keep yourself around the same people you did before when you were getting high.  Relapse is a real possibility if so. Congregate with people who strive for you to be a better person.  Leaving situations behind is the harsh reality of life…don’t be afraid to make the pertinent cuts…its okay…God has many band-aids for the wounded. What happens when you don’t let people go…you handcuff your reality and insist on living a perception of your life.  It’s hard to go…but I gotta leave. Don’t be afraid to let people you know, become people you knew.

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” –Unknown




Posted by on December 30, 2011 in Change, Me


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Financial Aid and Sidewalk Chalk…

Disclaimer…this post was actually intended to be released on 12/22…even though a few events have changed the basis of the post is still intact.  Felt the need to let you know…so you wouldn’t think that I was all the way dysfunctional…just slightly. 

I’m in the process of placing the finishing touches on my financial aid for the winter quarter and also registering for classes as well…ok hold on that was so random. Let me explain…due to my neglect I forgot to do a few things correctly and it seems that unless my appeal is granted, yours truly will have to pay or sit out this quarter at school. That sucks…but improperly prioritizing and not being thorough places me slap dab in the middle of this…so I have nobody to blame but the author of this post.

As I walked on campus today it seemed slightly different…there wasn’t an overbearing Christmas feel to the campus…in all actuality…I really hadn’t paid attention that Christmas was this Sunday until the other day when it was mentioned to me…true story. Well as I walked (and this happens a lot when I’m alone…I’m sure yall know this by now…I think)…thinking for me can go several ways and today was not any different. As I left the college of liberal arts main office…I looked around just because I can I guess…and I started to think about my goals and aspirations for the upcoming year…short, medium and long-term goals…excited, nervous and somewhat sad I was processing all the thoughts that I compiled. See the thing is that I don’t do resolutions…I think those stunt growth…I believe goals promote expansion…the average person usually honors their new year’s resolutions just for a few weeks. My short, medium, and long-term goals are an agglomeration..they each build upon the next.

Ok back on track…as I walked I looked down on the pavement and there to the left of me spray painted in ugly black handwriting…”U CAN DO IT”. Even though these are just a few simple words…they reign very much true. Kind of like a hand…seperate each finger serves a purpose but doesn’t have mighty power…but if you bind them together in a fist…you can strike a hefty blow.  “U CAN DO IT” I said aloud.  I was thinking of how this applies to my current season in my life (im actually debating on the level of transparency here)…many of you know that I made the executive decision…well not really I…it was me listening and being obedient to God’s word exactly 2 years and 6 months to the day to not work and continue with my education extensively. This was a huge leap in faith…but I did it…over the course of these months…I’ve experienced many highs and lows…emotionally, financially, spiritually…etc. this ride has not been easy…recently I’ve.decided to go back to work part-time while attending school. I know things will be harder…due to time constraints…but it can be done.

Fast forward…in life we are presented with obstacles…hurdles…some harder to jump than others…life is a complimation of trials and tribulations designed to strengthen you along your ultimate journey. During this journey we learn many things about least we think we do…one thing I know is that the resolve of a person never truly manifest until the ultimate adverse situation is encountered. Many times these situations are in stark contrast to our goals.

Where am I going with all this…let’s see…when we set goals…we are personally making a declaration about the course of our lives…we are no longer standing for the status quo in our lives…Proverbs 21:5 the plan of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to proverty..

What is this all saying…your goal is merely a plan…a blueprint. Before any sound structure can be built a blueprint is needed. Be persistent in your goal. Often it won’t be easy..and If it was easy…how fulfilling is it really.  Any plan executed over time properly will lead to profit…BUT if one isn’t willing to.endure the rigors of the journey and prefers to expedite the process…more than likely will lead to emptiness…

Simply…set a goal…press through the process…U CAN DO IT. remember this…achievement and sucess is not a single action..its a life long process…

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Posted by on December 29, 2011 in 1


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Short-Term Investments…Long-Term Attention…

With the upcoming New Year…I know many people are creating a list of resolutions that they plan to achieve this upcoming year.  My advice to many of you is this…exactly what the title of this post states, but I’m going to add two additional words that will change the entire dynamic of the title…STOP GIVING…short-term investments…long-term attention.  This is a major problem for many of us…because ace numero uno…most people look for immediate returns and are incapable of waiting for a delayed return…well incapable is a harsh word… they don’t exhibit the patience that is needed to endure a long-term return.

See…check this out…when a person attacks short-term investments…with long-term aspirations it never works.  That investment is current usage.  It is not made to endure longevity.  Have you ever sat back and wondered why you always seem to get the same response or end up arriving at the same place you always have?  Much of that has to do with the investment period…it is slotted incorrectly.  Let me put a spin on this…discern the type of investment…and attend to it as it is needed to be.  Let me go slightly deeper…all of us have people, circumstances, situations…whatever in our life that gives us trouble. Even deeper…there are persons in our lives that have been a part of our lives forever…and it seems like it is just a never-ending cycle of foolishness.  It is not that this particular person is a bad person…the fact of the matter is that you’ve slotted them incorrectly.  They are short-term investments…stop granting them life-time benefits…

Seasons, reasons, lifetimes….

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.


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Posted by on December 28, 2011 in Change


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I Have Much To Write…

…but I’m not sure how long I have to write it.  Hey everyone…its been some time again.  I know…I know…shaking my head. What can I say…I’m going to get it one day.  Hopefully it is sooner opposed to later. Okay, no empty promises, but I will try extremely hard to be more consistent with my writing.  School for me is slightly different this upcoming quarter…I’m predominantly taking on-line classes, so this should free up a tremendous amount of time where I can dedicate this to you.

Over the last couple of years I have written hundreds of blogs…the funny thing is many of them I never post.  I guess that is the quirky thing of being an alleged writer…A). one can write whatever they want 

and B). one can do with it as they please.  My goal is this for the upcoming year…TO BE CONSTANTLY CONSISTENT.  This is am enormous step for me, because I just haven’t been the structured type for a few years now.  I bet that inconsistent streak that peeks out from me often has caused the demise of many of  my “ships”…you know what “ships” are companionship’s, relationship’s, friendship’s…and any other one you can think of.

It happened again today people…well let me backtrack, this initially started about three weeks ago and culminated today.  It originated by me standing in a roll-a-way dumpster and completed with me on my hands and knees washing every centimeter of the bathroom today with a small rag.  One of this was by necessity, the other by choice…I won’t say which was what…but they both at first glance SUCKED!

Hold on…why did I do all that talking about writing blogs…well often I’m not sure what I write…I just write it…then if I feel the need to post…presto…cha-ching…ba da bing…you have it. Like I say all the time I write based on emotion…so if you pay attention to my writings…it’s easy to see the season that I am currently in…life that is.  Some time ago I met a lady…well met is too strong of a word…she was given my blog address and was interested in reading my writing.  Hell I don’t care who reads my work…I write to influence the mass (I guess)…naw…I’m lying…I write because it is therapeutic…Writing is like an epic orgasm to the soul for me.  Ooh no…sorry for the descriptive use of language…but that’s how serious writing can be for me.  Right…back to this lady…after she read a few on my post she became interested in my writings because we share a similar story…both have had a spouse pass away.  Now I’m not sure of any of the details of her situation…but I can feel her pain…Now I have NEVER spoken a word to this woman…nor exchanged emails…texts…or pleasantries…I just know of her.  After hearing a little bit of her story through our mutual contact I knew that at some point I would write a post for her…I just did not know when sooooo…and I never speak on people’s name’s on my post…but for these intended purpose I will…Ms. Evelyn…this blog is for you…

Life is life…it is what we make out of it.  It is filled with a plethora of smiles and cries…high and lows…there is an indefinite amount of adjectives that I can give for life.  There is one thing that I know Ms. Evelyn…one must learn to fall, before they can ever realize what getting up is.  All throughout life we are presented with obstacles that often derail our initial plans.  Growing up…we never think about the hurdles of life…we just know that we plan on being this successful person…maybe rich…good-looking…a beautiful house, family…dog and probably white picket fence.  We never think about the reality of things…sometimes bad things happen to good people.  We as people never ask for tragedy to happen…hell who wants that..but when we look at things sensible…before greatness is achieved…an epic failure has preceded it.

I remember standing in that dumpster a few weeks back…just thinking…”how and the hell did I get here?”…I’m not saying that this was a bad thing…but who the hell wants to be standing in a big ol dumpster?  As I looked over top of the opening of the dumpster I started to think about life…how many things in our life we discard…its not needed anymore…well its actually trash.  Let me tell you part of the reason why I was standing in the dumpster…I was actually clearing away some files from a storage closet that was no longer needed.  There was 365 days with of files, as you can imagine it was A LOT of files.  Instead of just throwing them in there any type of way…to maximize the space in the dumpster, I decided to get in and re-arrange things.

Now walk with me here Evelyn…today I was on the floor cleaning my bathroom with a rag.  It wasn’t my intentions to get down on my hands and knees…but my mop smelled like hot Cheetos and baby diapers…so that was a no-brainier. As I filled the bucket up with disinfectant and began to wipe the baseboards and the floor, I bent over in amazement…I don’t think that…scratch that I know that I have NEVER did anything like that before…so as I wiped everything…I started to get up…but I noticed under the faucet on the sink…there was some built up grime…even though the top of the faucet was exemplary…the bottom was less than desirable.  At this point Evelyn, my mind was wondering…because I know me…when I notice instances like this…it not normal…its time for me to zone in.

Why am I talking about “ships” and dumpster and mopping and such…this is the thing…it took me to be down on my hands and knees to be able to see all the filth of what was above me.  It allowed me to see how the surface…the exterior was “clean”…but the intricate…the interior parts of the faucet still needed to be clean.  It’s like that in life…you have to fall and sometimes fall hard to see what is needed to be seen.  Falling gives you a different perspective on life.   Like the files in the dumpster…sometimes we have to throw things away…we have to let things go…to truly receive what has been destined for us.  I had to clean out the storage closet to move newer things in…now I never will forget what was discarded, but what was discarded will help me cherish what is being imparted in my life.

Through all the pain you hold on to…realize this the crime is not in falling…the crime is in not getting up and progressing.  “Don’t be afraid to keep moving on, For what was before, now has gone, God wants to accomplish so much more, But we need to move forward in the Lord.”

Life is a full circle…what goes around…will definitely come back around.  You can never be the head until you have experienced being the tail.  Finish the race…complete your circle.  Even though I don’t know you Evelyn and maybe will never meet you…I love you!  I pray peace and blessings over your life.


Posted by on December 27, 2011 in Change


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