Like I say all the time…it is so funny how things happen to me. It’s always the smallest of things that spawn the biggest thoughts in me. I was sitting in my car on campus the other day…actually it was the third anniversary of Ronya’s death…just kinda collecting myself before I went into the library to work on a paper for one of my History classes. With this indifferent feeling on the day combined with a superabundance of thoughts…the place I was in mentally was really jacked. As I attempted to sort through all of these different emotions just trying to find a median so I can get started with my day I started to think about ice cubes. I can laugh now (I actually am while I’m typing) but at that moment ice cubes didn’t make any sense to me…until God did what He always does to me…BAM….
I was actually 4 years old when my parents got married…I was the ring bearer in the wedding and my sister was the flower girl. Now I won’t bore you with the details of the wedding but I will give you this…Backdrop…my parents were married on New Year’s Eve of 1980…so that was a loooong time ago. I can remember everything about that wedding down to the horrendously looking maroon blazer they made me wear. It was uglier than the shag carpet and hanging beads that accented one of the rooms at our house…anywho, the wedding and reception was at my aunt’s house. My aunt had this really nice house tucked off in the Northwest part of Dayton…I dunno why they had it there…I was only 4 and my guess would be that they were probably cheap…hahahaha. Okay back on track now. My aunt had this refrigerator that spewed water and chopped ice cubes from the outside. Now-a-days that is a common occurrence…but to me at 4 years old in 1980, I had never seen anything like that. I was truly amazed. See I had this glass of Coca-Cola that was halfway filled and I decided to test the fridge out…are these like “regular” ice cubes or is there something special about the? So I reluctantly put my glass under the lever and pressed it…tah dah…three ice cubes fall and I removed my glass. I look down at it in amazement because these are magic ice cubes…I now have more soda than I originally did. I’m tripping so I run and go get my sis and show her…both in amazement I proceeded to add more ice and the more ice I added to more the soda filled to the top. Can you imagine that as a 4 year old child? You start out with a little soda and these magic ice cubes gives you more…aww lawd…this is the greatest.
Then it happened…I drank the soda…and it was gone extremely fast. Huh? How can I drink that much soda that quick…so I pour out those ice cubes…add more soda and some new magic ice cubes…my sister and I are super happy…but the same thing happens again…At this time I so confused…fast forward now. I’m 22 years old living in Omaha, Nebraska…I’m involved with this young lady. The entire dynamic of this relationship was unstable and I should have paid attention to the warning signs…but me young and dumb, I wanted what I wanted. Nobody could tell me anything about this women. I was in love…this was my destiny. We were gonna get married, raise children together and be the Obama’s…before the Obama’s.
I was working second shift at a company there in Omaha and it was Valentine’s Day…now I have never been a huge V-Day guy…but what the heck…lets try something new. I was scheduled to get off of work at midnight, but we had overtime and I maybe got off at 2ish. I get over my friends house and she has this box of my favorite chocolates on the couch for me with a card. I really wanna get at the chocolates first, but I know etiquette and I’m supposed to read the card first. Okay with that out the way it’s time to dig into these chocolates…I open the box and two my surprise it is completely empty…wth? How can this entire box of chocolates be empty? You guessed it so I won’t say it. I was really Po’d…kinda like that feeling I had back when I was 4 years old and the magic ice cubes made my soda disappear quick.
What’s the purpose of all of this…life is about ice cubes…love and empty chocolate boxes…i.e…perception is not always reality. See as a child I perceived that glass actually had more soda in it…when that is not the case. Even though the ice gave the appearance of more soda in actuality it was still the same. There was no substance to what I perceived…it didn’t matter how many times I poured the ice out and added more soda…it was what it was…at the end of the day my glass was empty like that box of chocolates…the lack of contents in that box was the reality of what our relationship…but the physical attributes of the box were my perception of what I thought we were. At the end of the day when you opened our relationship it was empty…there was nothing there. No different than me looking at that “full” glass of soda and realizing that there was actually nothing there.
Understand this…how we perceive something is not actually what it is. We use our mind to jade and twist from what the facts really are. We allow perceptions everyday to shape the fabric of our lives…opposed to being patient and allowing reality to manifest. When you perceive you are unable to truly achieve that which is meant for you. Yep perception is not always reality.