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“YOU” Problems….

Like I always say…it’s not one thing on this Earth that happens by chance.  Everything under the sun has a predetermined outcome…eventually…what is meant to happen…will happen.  Again…the delay might manifest…but the denial will never appear (you’ll catch that)…for the simple fact of…how that thing is supposed to be will be.

It’s been a long time people…way longer than I anticipated…but hey like I just said…it was the delay…not the denial…lol.  I mean…it’s been soooo long…I bet some of you need a refresher course (that’s crazy…lol)…so here we go.  I don’t proof-read…filter or check over my work.  I feel that what comes out…comes out…jacked punctuation…bad grammar…misspellings…ooh well.  My writings are straight raw…as they say…straight shot…NO CHASER.  Also…I’m a storyteller of sorts…God gives it to me differently….you know kinda like a movie in my head and I just let it flow through words.  Okay…enough of that…let’s keep this train moving…

The other day I was at work minding my business…mingling with a few guests…and this young lady started to ask me questions out the blue.  I’m not really tripping…because that happens more than you would think.  I think it’s kinda different how a person would just spill their guts out to a stranger…so as I am talking to her…I began to doodle all the advice that I said to her…and when I was done it was like the Picasso of advice on a notepad…it kinda went something like this…

One can’t expect to take action and not have a reaction.  Placing stock in man is like placing a dozen of eggs in a wet paper bag…

The adversary operates in confusion…and as long as you keep that same clueless confused company will continued to be shackled…

Class is in session…your business is your business…when you allow the world to see…you are merely giving them an open invitation…an invitation that comes with presents…presents of dysfunction…envy and jealousy.

One thing I know is that one can’t keep something that doesn’t have the desire or intention of being kept…if that thing is kept by manipulation and deception then bitterness is conceived…and once  bitterness is birthed…it is an enormous baby to handle.

Ladies and GENTLEMEN too…understand your worth…stop devaluing yourself because another person feels a certain way.

It is a huge difference between being patient and stagnant…patience births fortitude…while stagnation is the love child of bitter and unhappiness.

Learn when to end a relationship (and I’m not just talking about affairs of the heart)…the ending of a relationship should make you BETTER not BITTER.  If you are ‘bitter’…that’s a ‘you’ issue…not a ‘them’ problem.  Only you can allow a situation to rob your joy.

Now what am I talking about folks…I’m talking about ‘you’…understand that the only thing that you control is you…When you take possession of your own self and live your life…you never have to worry about anything else…Be comfortable in your skin…you are the only person that has to wear it…

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2013 in Change

 

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Have you ever loved…

…someone or something so much that it makes you cry?  Boy…I tell you…that is the absolute case for me.  A few short weeks ago decided to take a trip down memory lane.  It was about four in the morning and for some reason I found myself stuck…literally could not sleep.  For the life of me I couldn’t understand why, because I had been up over 24 hours.  During the midst of my wake apnea (a phrase I coined a while ago for insomnia) I strolled over to my PC…one that  I hadn’t logged on in probably six to eight months…and even then I just used the Microsoft Office apps.

As I shifted through the “my documents” folder, I began to lose myself in the moment.  I made the choice to open EVERY single file on this computer.  Clicking the folders one by one I arrived at my very first class I attended once I re-enrolled in college…ENG 111.  Wow…even though this class was about five years ago, I remember everything about it…at least I thought…then it happened.  I clicked on the my second paper I wrote…Reading the paper, I instantly began to tear up until the bottom of my eyelids overflowed to the brim with tears…each tear drop flowed from both of my eyes like a rushing stream.  In this moment…all I could think of is him…the man that I loved more than any other man on this planet…My Father…My Dad…My Best-Friend…the man that wasn’t my biological father…but you couldn’t tell me that wasn’t my dad…the man that has helped shape the very being on the person typing the blog….let me share with you a small excerpt of this paper….

My father is far from perfect…but everything that he did to me, he always had my best interest at heart.  I absolutely love him for that.  I am going to take the core values my father instilled in me and teach my son.  I hope with what I learned from my father, my son will be a better person than me and my father combined.

What makes this so special is that my father…he succumbed to issues of the heart and went on to glory just a few short months ago.  Over the course of my collegiate life I have written hundreds of papers…and this one here…I will hold deep down in the depths of my heart.  Understand this people…time will not wait for no single person.  Cherish each moment as it was your last.  Love more than you want to breathe…If I could would love breath back into my father’s body…

 
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Posted by on January 23, 2013 in Change

 

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Even Grown Folks Throw Tantrums….

I glance back now to see where I came from…

I can’t believe I’m two terms away from my degrees now…and yea I did say degrees…#dualmajor

Especially after my wife died…

That period sucked…

BUT God has been on my side…and I have a BUNCH of prayer warriors praying for me when I was weak and didn’t wanna pray….

And was mad at God…

But through my mess…He still blessed me

He allowed me to throw my little tantrum…then He politely whipped my tail for being outta line…

That is what parents do…they allow children to get away with a few things…and then spring that punishment on them…

And ooh boy…did I do me…

God sent some beautiful people in my life to attempt to keep me in line….

But how you do you keep something that really doesn’t wanna be kept…

So I remember the last time my wife came to me in my dream….

She was furious at me…and my behavior…because up to this point it was about me…it had been about everybody else previously

I guess I was thinking it was finally my turn to be about me…

Ooh wow she gave me the business..and then told me that I was disappointing her…that’s why “you get what you got”

Now it is all clicking….I’m walking…still not all the way there yet….

I’m destined for my destiny….

I’m getting it right…but I guess I needed to get it wrong first…

To truly appreciate my life…

My life was like a reckless abandoned

Now its more like the prodigal son…

Was on my knees…bent over…about to eat…then he called me…

I came to my senses…

I am my DADDY’S son…

I’m making it…

I smile now…thinking back…to lose my father…and wife within a year of each other…

That’s why I never judge…you never know the next person’s story…

 
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Posted by on June 23, 2012 in Twolgs

 

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Gain…Rinse and Free Quarter Dryers…

As I say all the time…it is absolutely crazy how things come to fruition.  Now I’ve been writing this blog for about two weeks now…picking it up and putting it down.  Then I attempted to write a Twog (Twitter blog), but that didn’t work.  Not until I got to work this morning and went on about my daily business was I able to truly be inspired to write this blog.  This is the first time in quite sometime that I have been able to sit down and in one continuous motion write a blog…maybe it is starting to come back to me!!!  Needless to say…it’s time for me to move out the way and allow the words to do what they have to…

Desire to inspire…just needed to get that one out!  Anyways…I’m going back a few weeks now…my birthday was May 10 and I was going through a normal routine, I typically get my haircut on my birthday and go buy me something to wear.  Might be a little vain…but that is what I do…Off subject for a second…somebody asked me the other day why I always use 3 periods where commas and semi-colons should go…I said the periods look cooler…hahahaha…okay I’m back.  So my birthday now…did some errand running and I had plans to hit the city with a few of my buddies…nothing major…grab a few wings…watch the basketball game and go downtown and have a drink.  Well it just ended up being me and my eldest son…which is cool…that’s my homie.

As my night began to end I remember that I had an enormous load of laundry in my trunk…so I said what the heck…I stopped at a 24 hour laundry facility and finished my birthday night washing and drying clothes…it was cool though…because I was the only one there and it gave me the opportunity to just reflect.  I just sat there and watched the load of clothes wash…just daydreaming or nightdreaming…I dunno which one…because it was like 1:30 in the morning.  I was thinking about the struggle…the trials…ups…downs…you know that typical stuff folks think about when they are in a reflective moody feeling.  You know…I was just grateful that God allowed me to witness another birthday.  Crazy because I remember a time in my life that I never thought that I would make it to be as old as I am…not that I’m an old fart or something…but I didn’t think I was gonna make it to be even 25.  Crazy huh…I guess that is just the environment that I came from…dunno…

Fast-forward now…its two Sunday’s ago and I am back at the laundry…this time a different one…and I have like literally…15 loads of clothes.  Who does that…I mean just have 15 loads of dirty clothes.  Don’t act like I am the only one…but anywho I loaded these five washers (they were three load washers) and got them all started.  My plan was to do some homework before church but I left my backpack…why the heck does it seem like I’m rambling right now…ooh well…since I had no backpack…I just sat in front of the washer…and that’s when it hit me…Gain…Rinse and Free Quarter Dryers…

I had that same feeling I did that night on my birthday.  Watching the washers go through their cycle it was interesting…all I could think of was the Holy Trinity…The Father…Son and Holy Spirit.  How does this connect…Follow me for one quick second and I pray by the time I’m done that you would be blessed…If we take a REAL self-evaluation we would see how dirty we actually are…well speak for myself.  You might not be dirty.  You might have the purest of thoughts and actions…but as for me…nope…nada.  I’m observing these clothes…filled with detergent…being clean.  Now not all my clothes in the loads were as dirty as others…but some of them were extremely filthy.  Lemme ask you this…have you ever worked out or just had a bad day and took off your undershirt and the smell was like…UGH…again…maybe that is just me…but when I’ve had days like that…I just stick those clothes in the middle of the pile just to hide the smell….then when you go to sort the clothes you come across that shirt again and it smells God awful…see when you are sorting clothes everything is revealed…you find all types of stuff in your pockets…you find clothes that you have been looking for…everything I mean.

Okay follow me now…back to this washer…I’m watching all of my clothes go through these cycles…all the detergent suds…then the rinse and spin cycle…and finally being placed in the dryer…then it hits me like a sack of bricks again…THE FATHER…THE SON…THE HOLY SPIRIT…See…it is the Holy Spirit through God that picks us up when we are dirty…helps us began to sort through all of the madness we get ourselves into…you know all that dirt and filth…it is the Holy Spirit that washes us…see when we are being cleaned…we are made a spectacle out of…people see the transformation…folks see that we are being cleaned…that we are not the same.  This is why some people hit you with the lines, “You are changing” or “You are not the same” or maybe “You think you are better than me”…when the Holy Spirit places a stamp on you…NO…you are not the same and you are changed…and it’s not that you think that you are better than the next…its just that you can’t place yourself in the same situations as before…you can’t fraternize with the same folks…when you know better you do better.  So as I’m dwelling in this revelation…then I am hit with a second one…

The RINSE CYCLE…see after the Holy Spirit picks you up and washes you…It is the SON that rinses you off…not with water…but the blood that HE shed for the remission of our sins…so we can still be here…so we can experience the things that we do.  No load of clothes can be completely washed without a rinse cycle…the rinse cycle is one of the most important cycles…see what this does is not only continue to clean us…but humble us…now watch this…SOMETIMES us as Christians do get caught being a little too…ummm…RELIGIOUS…we do act to be too clean…just like laundry…how can you complete the washing the clothes without rinsing the detergent off…marinate on that for a sec…

Now at this particular laundry facility where I live they have free quarter drying from 7a – 10a everyday if you wash your clothes on there you can dry for free…now watch this…see the final step in this process is the drying.  We dry our clothes…fold and put away…they smell and feel sooo much better.  That is what God does…He is the Alpha and Omega…it was Him in the beginning and it is Him at the end of the process.  Okay…free quarter drying…how can it be free and be quarter drying…Even though the drying is free…the price had to be paid for the drying to commence…you get it…The Son had to pay the Father the ultimate price for our clothes to be dry….1 James 5:6-9

This is the one who came by water and blood —Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. For there are three that testify: the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement. We accept human testimony, but God’s testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son….

 
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Posted by on June 2, 2012 in Religious

 

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Rise and Walk…

It’s something I really like about these Twlogs…they just work for me.  The only draw back from my Twlogs are that until I find an easier way to publish them (and I know that there is)…I have to copy and paste every dang on tweet…that is so time consuming.  Okay…so I went to church last night…and oooh boy it was much needed…because I am in a season of my life that is…or only can be categorized as DIFFERENT and that might just be an understatement.  This Twlog is truly inspired by the anointed Word that I heard last night…

The thing is folks…we tend to get held captive by our situation…

Many times its hard to see the forest through the trees…

And the big picture sometimes is just a tiny portrait…

In those moments…that’s when we need to activate our faith..

Don’t be content…or be consumed by the contents…

When we activate faith…supernatural abilities awaken…

Be patient because I’m driving and using talk to text.

See regardless off the appearance you have to rise and walk…

When God orders steps…every step taken has divine support…which means every that’s wishes to trip you is crushed via His favor

 God doesn’t show favoritism…He imparts favor…there is a distinct difference

When favoritism is granted…it is given no matter what right or wrong…

‏But favor is activated thru constant obedience and sacrifice.

‏But you can be born into favor…all the while though you must use it or lose it.

‏God won’t continue to grant favor if you won’t capitalize on it…

 It will eventually exhaust…

‏One can’t take for granted that tomorrow will allow for the manifestation of things…

‏Tomorrow is decided by Our Father…

‏So in other words…have a “lize” spirit.

‏Realize…utilize…capitalize

‏Then it will materialize…

‏I say all of everything to say…

‏I got it…#yeast…yeah that’s it..

‏Your life has no purpose until you become yeast…

‏I’m not a baker by any stretch of the imagination…but I have used yeast before…

‏Yeast is vital for the baking of bread..

‏Yeast has to rise before the bread can be a viable product…

‏Expand…come from beneath circumstances and situations..

‏Don’t be afraid to outgrow your clothes…

‏Rise and walk…with purpose on purpose…

‏Any stumbling block is merely designed be a stepping stone to your elevated place…

Activate your faith…utilize your favor…

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2012 in Twolgs

 

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The Devil Doesn’t Live Here Anymore….

I want to do something different with this post.  God works with me extremely different than He does with other people.  Well let me take that back…I’m not sure how He deals with you…so for that fact I will scale back from what I just said.  I guess what I need to say is that God works with me on several different levels.  He typically allows me to observe a situation…and then allows me to see this situation in slow motion…other times…He drops things in my spirit…but every so often He gives me a dream when He really wants to get something across to me.  He typically uses things that are strong in my life to get drive His point…last night was one of those “dream” nights.  So what I decided to do is blog about my dream…but in poem form.  This is the first time I’ve done something like this…but I just had the urge to do something different…so I’m about to sit back and allow it to do whatever it wants to do…and I pray through these stanzas that someone is blessed…

Get out of my life…
Why are you here…
Who gave you the right
To even be in my life.
 
Don’t you know that it was you
It was you that choose to do what you do
It was you that held the key
It was you that gave me the key
So why do you question me
Because it was you that gave me the right to be in your life
 
Get out my life
Why are you here
What is it that you want
Why are you bothering me
Just go ahead and go
You had your time
You ran your course
You and I are not for better or worse
 
Why do you talk to me like this
It’s me that you are calling telling me you miss
The things that I do
Don’t try to turn my do to a did
I’m gonna always be where you end…and where you begin
You gave me this key
I don’t have to go
So continue to complain
It’ll be you dealing with the pain
As for me…I will be me
I will be alright
Because I have a key
And I have a right
 
I’m sorry you have no right
I’m even willing to fight
To get back my life
That you are trying to steal
This is my life…I have dominion…
You have no right
 
Yes I do…remember everything you gave me
You gave me a piece of you
You gave me a part of your virtue
Now that tie can’t be broken
And I am here
Psst…come close…psst come near
Let me tell you this
You laid with me and now we are one
We are tied at the soul never to be undone
 
The devil is a lie
It’s time for you to go
Right or wrong your purpose is done…on purpose
So pack your bags its time to fly so I can enjoy me and mine
 
Ha…think it is that easy
That easy for me to go
I have a key
This is my home
I can come and go
Remember it was you that let us in
It was you that loved to sin
Now you try to make me go
Excuse me sir…I don’t think so
Let me tell you this…
Remember that choice…I would be remised
Not to bring up all those times
All the doors that you opened
All the distractions and attractions that gave you carnal satisfaction
You just can’t dismiss this
It is this that you will surely miss
Come over here…give me a kiss
Why are so looking so confused…so disheveled
Hey you…come dance with the devil
 
Get out my house
This is my house you don’t belong
Take you…all of yall and leave
This is my home…this is my place
Now it is time for you to depart this place
I am no longer that person
I have changed…
No…its not the more things change…the more the remain
GET OUT MY HOUSE
You are not welcomed here
GET OUT MY HOUSE
Leave fast…or I’m gonna whip your…
See I told you I’ve changed
Before I would have said it
But not now…I know how to stand proud
So GET OUT MY HOUSE right now
You no longer have the right to be in my life
While you’re at it leave the key at the door
I don’t want to see you anymore
One thing I know is that God has my back
We are fighting back…we are on the attack
GET OUT MY HOUSE
And I command you not to come back
Psst now you come here…let me tell you something
I can stand up boldly and proclaim
I don’t need you now or never
As for me…I’m doing better
So leave the key at the door
Devil your lust don’t live here no more
 
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Posted by on April 2, 2012 in Change

 

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I Have Much To Write…

…but I’m not sure how long I have to write it.  Hey everyone…its been some time again.  I know…I know…shaking my head. What can I say…I’m going to get it one day.  Hopefully it is sooner opposed to later. Okay, no empty promises, but I will try extremely hard to be more consistent with my writing.  School for me is slightly different this upcoming quarter…I’m predominantly taking on-line classes, so this should free up a tremendous amount of time where I can dedicate this to you.

Over the last couple of years I have written hundreds of blogs…the funny thing is many of them I never post.  I guess that is the quirky thing of being an alleged writer…A). one can write whatever they want 

and B). one can do with it as they please.  My goal is this for the upcoming year…TO BE CONSTANTLY CONSISTENT.  This is am enormous step for me, because I just haven’t been the structured type for a few years now.  I bet that inconsistent streak that peeks out from me often has caused the demise of many of  my “ships”…you know what “ships” are companionship’s, relationship’s, friendship’s…and any other one you can think of.

It happened again today people…well let me backtrack, this initially started about three weeks ago and culminated today.  It originated by me standing in a roll-a-way dumpster and completed with me on my hands and knees washing every centimeter of the bathroom today with a small rag.  One of this was by necessity, the other by choice…I won’t say which was what…but they both at first glance SUCKED!

Hold on…why did I do all that talking about writing blogs…well often I’m not sure what I write…I just write it…then if I feel the need to post…presto…cha-ching…ba da bing…you have it. Like I say all the time I write based on emotion…so if you pay attention to my writings…it’s easy to see the season that I am currently in…life that is.  Some time ago I met a lady…well met is too strong of a word…she was given my blog address and was interested in reading my writing.  Hell I don’t care who reads my work…I write to influence the mass (I guess)…naw…I’m lying…I write because it is therapeutic…Writing is like an epic orgasm to the soul for me.  Ooh no…sorry for the descriptive use of language…but that’s how serious writing can be for me.  Right…back to this lady…after she read a few on my post she became interested in my writings because we share a similar story…both have had a spouse pass away.  Now I’m not sure of any of the details of her situation…but I can feel her pain…Now I have NEVER spoken a word to this woman…nor exchanged emails…texts…or pleasantries…I just know of her.  After hearing a little bit of her story through our mutual contact I knew that at some point I would write a post for her…I just did not know when sooooo…and I never speak on people’s name’s on my post…but for these intended purpose I will…Ms. Evelyn…this blog is for you…

Life is life…it is what we make out of it.  It is filled with a plethora of smiles and cries…high and lows…there is an indefinite amount of adjectives that I can give for life.  There is one thing that I know Ms. Evelyn…one must learn to fall, before they can ever realize what getting up is.  All throughout life we are presented with obstacles that often derail our initial plans.  Growing up…we never think about the hurdles of life…we just know that we plan on being this successful person…maybe rich…good-looking…a beautiful house, family…dog and probably white picket fence.  We never think about the reality of things…sometimes bad things happen to good people.  We as people never ask for tragedy to happen…hell who wants that..but when we look at things sensible…before greatness is achieved…an epic failure has preceded it.

I remember standing in that dumpster a few weeks back…just thinking…”how and the hell did I get here?”…I’m not saying that this was a bad thing…but who the hell wants to be standing in a big ol dumpster?  As I looked over top of the opening of the dumpster I started to think about life…how many things in our life we discard…its not needed anymore…well its actually trash.  Let me tell you part of the reason why I was standing in the dumpster…I was actually clearing away some files from a storage closet that was no longer needed.  There was 365 days with of files, as you can imagine it was A LOT of files.  Instead of just throwing them in there any type of way…to maximize the space in the dumpster, I decided to get in and re-arrange things.

Now walk with me here Evelyn…today I was on the floor cleaning my bathroom with a rag.  It wasn’t my intentions to get down on my hands and knees…but my mop smelled like hot Cheetos and baby diapers…so that was a no-brainier. As I filled the bucket up with disinfectant and began to wipe the baseboards and the floor, I bent over in amazement…I don’t think that…scratch that I know that I have NEVER did anything like that before…so as I wiped everything…I started to get up…but I noticed under the faucet on the sink…there was some built up grime…even though the top of the faucet was exemplary…the bottom was less than desirable.  At this point Evelyn, my mind was wondering…because I know me…when I notice instances like this…it not normal…its time for me to zone in.

Why am I talking about “ships” and dumpster and mopping and such…this is the thing…it took me to be down on my hands and knees to be able to see all the filth of what was above me.  It allowed me to see how the surface…the exterior was “clean”…but the intricate…the interior parts of the faucet still needed to be clean.  It’s like that in life…you have to fall and sometimes fall hard to see what is needed to be seen.  Falling gives you a different perspective on life.   Like the files in the dumpster…sometimes we have to throw things away…we have to let things go…to truly receive what has been destined for us.  I had to clean out the storage closet to move newer things in…now I never will forget what was discarded, but what was discarded will help me cherish what is being imparted in my life.

Through all the pain you hold on to…realize this the crime is not in falling…the crime is in not getting up and progressing.  “Don’t be afraid to keep moving on, For what was before, now has gone, God wants to accomplish so much more, But we need to move forward in the Lord.”

Life is a full circle…what goes around…will definitely come back around.  You can never be the head until you have experienced being the tail.  Finish the race…complete your circle.  Even though I don’t know you Evelyn and maybe will never meet you…I love you!  I pray peace and blessings over your life.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2011 in Change

 

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