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“YOU” Problems….

Like I always say…it’s not one thing on this Earth that happens by chance.  Everything under the sun has a predetermined outcome…eventually…what is meant to happen…will happen.  Again…the delay might manifest…but the denial will never appear (you’ll catch that)…for the simple fact of…how that thing is supposed to be will be.

It’s been a long time people…way longer than I anticipated…but hey like I just said…it was the delay…not the denial…lol.  I mean…it’s been soooo long…I bet some of you need a refresher course (that’s crazy…lol)…so here we go.  I don’t proof-read…filter or check over my work.  I feel that what comes out…comes out…jacked punctuation…bad grammar…misspellings…ooh well.  My writings are straight raw…as they say…straight shot…NO CHASER.  Also…I’m a storyteller of sorts…God gives it to me differently….you know kinda like a movie in my head and I just let it flow through words.  Okay…enough of that…let’s keep this train moving…

The other day I was at work minding my business…mingling with a few guests…and this young lady started to ask me questions out the blue.  I’m not really tripping…because that happens more than you would think.  I think it’s kinda different how a person would just spill their guts out to a stranger…so as I am talking to her…I began to doodle all the advice that I said to her…and when I was done it was like the Picasso of advice on a notepad…it kinda went something like this…

One can’t expect to take action and not have a reaction.  Placing stock in man is like placing a dozen of eggs in a wet paper bag…

The adversary operates in confusion…and as long as you keep that same clueless confused company will continued to be shackled…

Class is in session…your business is your business…when you allow the world to see…you are merely giving them an open invitation…an invitation that comes with presents…presents of dysfunction…envy and jealousy.

One thing I know is that one can’t keep something that doesn’t have the desire or intention of being kept…if that thing is kept by manipulation and deception then bitterness is conceived…and once  bitterness is birthed…it is an enormous baby to handle.

Ladies and GENTLEMEN too…understand your worth…stop devaluing yourself because another person feels a certain way.

It is a huge difference between being patient and stagnant…patience births fortitude…while stagnation is the love child of bitter and unhappiness.

Learn when to end a relationship (and I’m not just talking about affairs of the heart)…the ending of a relationship should make you BETTER not BITTER.  If you are ‘bitter’…that’s a ‘you’ issue…not a ‘them’ problem.  Only you can allow a situation to rob your joy.

Now what am I talking about folks…I’m talking about ‘you’…understand that the only thing that you control is you…When you take possession of your own self and live your life…you never have to worry about anything else…Be comfortable in your skin…you are the only person that has to wear it…

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2013 in Change

 

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Top 10 Things You SHOULD do/say to a man….

Dew’s Blog has always claimed to be an opportunity blog you know…so after posting my blog from yesterday I received some extremely interesting feedback about it.  Much of it was positive…but you know I caught a little flack…so in fairness I decided to post a Top 10 blog I received from a friend that is the polar opposite of mine.  I do want to clarify my stance…in no way, shape, form or fashion did I purposely intent to come of chauvinistic, degrading or full of bull excrement.  Even though this was for entertainment purposes only, I truly believe that some of list can be beneficial when relating to a man.  I will post the list and add my comments as needed…without further ado I present to you… Top 10 Things You SHOULD do/say to a man….

 

Top 10 Things You SHOULD do/say to a man….

10.  Never admit that your wrong. Okay…I have a slight problem with this one.  How is this beneficial in a relationship?  Not admitting guilt seems to be somewhat juvenile in nature.  If I am wrong I will admit my fault…point blank.  This practice needs to be reciprocated for any long lasting, stable and healthy relationship.  Let’s see…its two of us in the house…if I didn’t do it…who else did?  I dunno….maybeeeeee Casper did…lol…Just joking ladies.  I can see this point of view, but no relationship can prosper with this mentality.

9.   Reward and punish with “cookies.”  How else will he learn?  WOW…again…not in agreement…but if you have that type of relationship then I can understand.  Basically that seems like a form off manipulation.  If I do good…then you put it on me…if I’m bad then you take it away.  Sounds like what my mother used to do to me with my Nintendo back in the day.  Be very careful though…a less of a man might seek to frequent another establishment.  Nabisco doesn’t make the only cookies in town.

8.   Demand a JOB from yo man or that he be actively seeking one!  Now this one I agree with A LOT…except for the fact that I think that there are exceptions to every rule.  I’ll inject myself into this situation…I was a warehouse/logistics manager for several years.  A year after my wife passed away I decided to finish my dual degrees (actually bachelor’s in history and business management…master’s in history and eventually doctorate) I worked 50 plus hours a week (not just work…managed an entire warehouse and controlled every logistical aspect of it), went to school full-time, took care of my terminally-ill wife and two children.  Now as of June of 2009, I stop working and continued with my education.  There are things outside of logistics that I want to obtain.  I went back to school for not only myself…but to show my children it is possible and to live out the dream my wife and I had.  Okay if you said a man with no direction…then I would completely agree.

 7.   Seek a fictional character exhibiting any and personality traits/characteristics that “you have always dreamed of” (I.e.:  Edward Cullen).  I don’t even know who he is…but I think one should seek out qualities of those tangible people…I.e.: Michelle Obama, Oprah Winphrey…etc.

6.   Never believe yo man when he says..”she’s just a friend”  I agree with this slightly as well…but for the record men and women can strictly have a plutonic relationship. 

5.   Never believe yo man when he says..”she’s only my baby momma”  Hmmm…interesting if a woman is dealing with a man that refers to his “child’s mother” as a baby momma…then you probably need to throw him to the curb anyway…Baby Momma itself is a degrading and demeaning term. 

4.   Always have the upper hand! Control needs to be established.  WTF?!?!? Control needs to be established.  This is not OSU vs. Michigan!  If a person feels the need to establish control then are you really in a relationship?…sounds more like a dictatorship.  Control is shared…it is duality in nature.  Maybe understanding and respect might apply here more.

3.   Apply the 3 strike rule!  Now this one I actually agree with.  A man is only going to do what you allow him to.  If he is constantly in violation…then you might have LIG him (Let it Go).

2.   Trust actions more than words.  Again this is a good one…but again there are exceptions to rules…if a man is visually doing all the right things…what is he doing behind the scenes.  “It’s not you I don’t trust, darling. It’s your private thoughts that give me pause.” – Kathy Bates (A Family That Preys)

 AND THE #1 RULE IS………

1.   Train his A-S-S to be what he should have been when you first met his sorry self!!!  Umm ladies…he is not a pet (even though he might have dog tendencies)…if you have to TRAIN HIM TO WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN…THEN THAT IS NOT A GREAT PICK BY YOU.

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2010 in Nothing about Nothing

 

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10 Things a Woman Should Not Say/Do to Her Man….

I’ve wrote about this once before, but for some reason I have received several messages to re-post and update 10 Things a Woman Should Not Say/Do to Her Man….

10. Never compare your man to any fictional…made-up…character that resides in a movie, book, song or soap opera.  No you man is not Nick Newman…and he will never be!  There is a reason why it is fictional…It’s not TRUE!

9.  Do NOT tell your man he needs to go to the gym.  Chances are if he was chubby (hahaha) when you met him…he’s probably gonna stay that way. 

8.  Tell him that, “you care about your friends more than me”…In most cases this is NOT true.  He probably spends a lot of time with his friends because there is something lacking at home.  Instead…watch and learn your man…cater to him more often…but don’t spoil him.  You don’t want a spoiled man…that can be trouble (well not really…lol).

7.  Do NOT…I repeat Do NOT ask a man if he “loves” you.  Chances are if he is smart the answer will be yes.  He would be a fool to say, “no baby, I don’t love you”…His actions are the best indicator…plus many men don’t do well with the verbal thing.

6.  Please…don’t tell a man that he is soft.  Attention ladies…men have egos…some have HUGE egos.  Let him think that he is the king of all kings.  Give that ego just enough attention and you will be fine.

5.  Don’t try to change him…allow him to be a man…appreciate the man that he is…but don’t settle.  If he isn’t the type of man you want…there are many fish in the sea.

4.  This can be higher…please DO NOT BOTHER A MAN WHEN HE IS WATCHING HIS SPORTING EVENTS…especially if it is a playoff, tournament or his favorite team.  If you do…somebody might be sleeping on the couch that night (and he probably won’t have a problem doing it).

3.  WOW…this is a good one…Under no circumstances should you use the “cookies” as reward or punishment…the bakery should be open 24/7 (unless…well you know…when nature calls).  It is not right to control a man with the pastries…this is sooooo wrong!!!

2.  Never say, “I only slept with (insert number here) guys before you.  Some…well most men can not handle the truth…and for some of the ones that can…he probably has follow-up questions which then leads to answers he can’t handle.  Even though many men want a woman that is experienced and can pleasure him…he doesn’t want her to be experienced…if you know what I mean.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE…………..AND THE #1 Thing a Woman Should Not Say/Do to Her Man is….

Joke about your man’s sexuality.  I don’t think I really need to expand on this one.

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2010 in Nothing about Nothing, Relationships

 

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I’m Probably Gonna Get Flack From This One…

…but why is it that most of the women I “encounter” drive around in a dirty vehicle?  I’m not talking about the exterior…but the interior is looks like a grizzly bear has romped through it. This post was inspired by a Facebook status post I came across today (thanks K. Sat). I promise I have seen it all…from chicken bones to schoolbooks thrown on every part of the interior.  I have seen high heels…empty fast food bags…candy…panty hose…I just can’t call it.  Now many of you might say this is a typical “man’s” job…but come on ladies…that doesn’t give you a free pass to just so whatever.  I know a woman that the inside of her windshield is so caked with flith I thought she had tinted windows. You know the funny thing about it is I hear the same line…”well you know how the kids are”…hahaha what a pile of crock.  Children do exactly what you allow them…but what about women that don’t have children???(hahahaha) Here are some of the comments that folks generated via the Facebook status: DISCLAIMER:  The views expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect the views of  Dew’s Blog.

  • “Man that sh#t is so true bruh. Lol. They b havin that damn car lookin and smellin like a damn house on wheels! U liable to find anything from old panties to rotten food. Smh”
  • “I KNOW MY CAR NASTY LOL” (this is from a woman)

I wanted  to write something a little more light-hearted tody…Well at the end of the day…it is what it is…ladies…ladies…ladies!!! LOL.  Have a great weekend and talk soon.

“The mother must set the example in holding out the shrine as the heart of the house hold! She must enforce discipline over the children in personal cleanliness in humility and hospitality, in good manners and acts of service.” – Sri Sathya Sai Baba

 

   

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2010 in Facebook Friday's

 

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Top 10 Reasons Why I Want To Marry Again

10. Tax breaks and financial security. Being married allows to receive certain benefits that single folks aren’t granted…PLUS sharing assets with wifey is a beautiful thing.

9. Dating is DONE!!! You get tired of the ringing phone. It becomes more of a headache. Going on those uncomfortable dates and everyone trying to fix you up with someone…UGH! Plus…doing all that data collecting can drive you up a wall. Having a help mate and partner is a great thing.

8. Chicken. There is nothing like making sure daddy gets the big piece of chicken.

7. Companionship/Family. Being lonely is not a good look for the home team. Not that a dude is desperate, but coming home to someone that loves you unconditionally is definitely a plus. It is a sense of fulfillment. Looking forward to seeing her walk through the door at the end of the day is enough in itself. Waking up with wifey, the kids, and the dog.

6. I love you. This should be higher on the list…but just for debates sake I will slot it here. Folks tend to believe that sense you love someone let’s start planning a wedding. Not so fast my friend…there is love and then there is LOVE…determine the difference between the two.

5. Sex. Now this can definitely be higher…but at # 5 it is in a good place…just high up the list to be important…but not to high to be controlling. Boy there is nothing like married sex. You mean to tell me I can have as much sex with my wife as I want and not sin…pssst…let’s get it…more importantly there is a spiritual tie involved.

4. Romance. Now there is a difference between romance and sex. Romance is what keeps the marriage moving. The intimacy of romance allows for both of us to learn each other and keeps things fresh. This can also create a sense of security inside of a marriage. Getting a back rub from someone who knows exactly how you like to be touched is always right.

3. Having someone on your side… even when you’re wrong…what more is there to say.

2. Because Ronya would want me too. I do miss my wife (RIP), but I know what she wants for me and I want it too.

1. God wants me to be happy…….

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2009 in Me

 

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Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Single

10b. Uncomfortable color schemes. I don’t really know how in tuned I am with pastels and all those softer type color. If I’m using the bathroom…I want it to feel like a bathroom, not the inside of a cotton candy machine. Better yet, if I want to re-arrange my furniture I can.

10a. Hot Water. It is just me…I always have hot water.

9. No chic flixs. I’m not sure how comfortable I will be with watching Fried Green Tomatos or Pretty in Pink…give me Enemy of the State, the Negotiator and some Patron Silver and I got you.

8. No female hygiene products everywhere. Ladies I respect the fact that you keep yourself “right” during that unsettling time…but I’m cool on the products throughout the bedroom (you can include the period panties too). There is nothing like walking into the bathroom and seeing some granny panties sprawled out on the toilet. Yep I pass!

7. I can eat what the heck I want. I don’t have to hear…”that’s not good for you” or “you need to eat more of this/that”….yeah I pass on that too.

6. I can turn the music up in my car. No explanation needed.

5. I can keep the toilet seat up. Under normal circumstances this would be higher up on the list, but it was hard to crack the top 4.

4. Freedom. I can do what the hell I want…when I want to. I don’t have to worry about a lot of family coming over (if I don’t want). Not having to check with someone else before making plans/accepting invites…This could be number 1.

3. Clingy/Soft. Whew this is a big one. Lady please give me 50 feet. I don’t need to talk to you…text you…email you ALL dang on day. Give me time to miss you. Sometimes I need you to think like a man and conduct yourself like a lady.

2. Cackling Hens. Misery loves company. I don’t have to put up with your cackling unhappy friends. Don’t get mad at us because we are happy. I’m not feeling someone constantly in her ear. Shut the hell up!

1. We are not equally yoked. Just because we are great people, doesn’t necessarily me that we are on one accord.

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2009 in Me

 

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Independent Woman’s Syndrome

I am treading with extreme caution on this subject. I know that it is terribly sensitive and could be taken the wrong way (and I will get some backlash), 0306_1z+Kleeman_E50K_Mercedes_Benz+Front_View_Slidingso I will be respectful…but this is my blog so you know that I will do it my way. Quite some time ago I was in a debate with a friend of mine…actually I had this conversation with several people of the course of a few weeks. It was the topic of what I love to call Independent Woman Syndrome…or IWS for short. Of course many of us had similar yet different perspectives on the topic….thus this made me want to write about this. Now I can base my stance from a biblical standpoint and it would be a no brainer…but then that would encompass submission…training…etc…but I won’t. These are my opinions and I will for the most part keep it to what I think.

 I…let me state this again…I feel that many women especially in the black independent-womancommunity are suffering from an extreme case of this syndrome. I’ve talked about this many times before, but I am so sick and tired of hearing those common clichés of, “I don’t need a man for this” or “I can do that”….you know the “Anything he can do…I can do”….or this is my favorite one… “I DON’T NEED A MAN TO COMPLETE ME”…blah blah blah…shut up…put a sock in it (a dirty one at that). Please ladies you are starting to sound like that Charlie Brown teacher. Earth to independent woman, yes you do need a man…sorry it is just a fact…BUT… I’ll give you this tidbit…not any man will do…you need a good one. Okay…here comes the rebuttal… “There isn’t any” or ‘They are gay”….again ma’am…quiet please. There are good men and in abundance but the issue may reside within you…INTERNALLY you know. Maybe some women should stop blaming external factors on the demise of relationships and look within. Women ask yourself this…in any relationship that you have that has come to an end…have you HONESTLY looked at yourself objectively and weighed any contributing factors from you. Now I am not giving guys a pass because many of us are jerks…and even the good guys have jerk tendencies…but that IWS will do it every time. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why you are getting what you got:

• Are you equally yoked with the man and on every level…spiritually, mentally, emotionally? You don’t have to agree on everything, but at least be on the same accord. Many women take spiritually for granted. Sometimes, women you tend to think that since your man goes to church you are spiritually yoked…sorry ma’am…that is not the case.

• Are you willing to submit…I’m not talking about succumbing or servitude…but willing to let the reigns go a bit to allow him to have dominion (this is more for married couples).

• Look at this man…know what he is. Don’t try to turn a 2 of club into an Ace of spade. Sorry ladies…go ahead and try to play that club like a spade and see what happens.

• How does he treat the important women in his life? Whatever he does around them, he will do around you. What makes you any different? I hope it isn’t because of your female privates…because real talk…those come a dime a dozen.

The skinny of it is…women READ THE MEMO…there is an order to everything under the sun…ESPECIALLY IN MAN/WOMAN RELATIONSHIPS. Find the cure for the syndrome.

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2009 in Nothing about Nothing

 

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