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That’s the way the cookie crumbles…..

08 Oct

….I was supposed to be reporting on the number of times I heard the presidential candidates said “fundamental difference”…..well unfortunately people I fell asleep during the beginning of the debate.  So my tally for the event was a meager two times….

Okay, in keeping with the theme of Rewind Wednesday….well I’m deviating slightly from the format.  I decided to go through my email from exactly a year ago to the day and this is a discussion my email group had…

Why do you think men leave there wives for younger women? I would love some feedback about this.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.– George Bernard Shaw

David


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16 Comments

Posted by on October 8, 2008 in Rewind Wednesday

 

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16 responses to “That’s the way the cookie crumbles…..

  1. beans3bk

    October 8, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    There could be a million factors, I believe marriage is sacred. Why do men leave their wives period? That is stupid.

     
  2. David

    October 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    I figured you would say something like that….why do men leave their wives period. Please stick to the topic…thanks…lol

     
  3. beans3bk

    October 8, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    What do you mean, I figured you would say something like that? Anywho, If I had to answer I would just say stupid. YOU SHOULD NEVER WALK AWAY FROM SOMETHING YOU HAVE, for something you are unsure of. Depending on her age, the older man may just be a temporary fix for an issue the younger woman is having. Also if you want me to continue to grace your blog with my presence I suggest you watch your mouth, david!!!!

     
  4. © J. McCarthy

    October 9, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    Boy, you playing with fire with this one. lol. Like the new look btw.

    Ok, my stance on that. Could me multiple things. Of course you flat out got guys who want to upgrade. Wrong, but true. Then there are lots of people who get married for the wrong reasons. Some people get married and stay married, but never like the person. I could write on that alone, but I think I will take a different angle.

    We know women and men have basic needs. I discuss this in my book entitled “Married as Advertised” which is currently on sale at Amazon.com. lol. No seriously though, men and women’s needs are different. Men need sex, women need attention. Now don’t get it twisted because men need attention too (hence this metrosexual movement), but I think for the most part women can live without sex, but can’t live without attention. They were created to desire that attention from a man, and sex has traditionally been a way they (think they) keep it.

    Back on subject. I think there are several factors that come into play when they leave for an older woman. I won’t consume this blog with all my thoughts. I tell you one thing that is obvious though. I think in almost every case, it is flattery and a boost of confidence that they still got it (even though they know deep inside the girl only looking at them because they are established with $$).

    Contrary to some belief, in most cases I don’t think it is just because men want to discard the old and get new. That is how I believe a lot of women look at it, but that ain’t the case. I think that when a woman wants a man, in the beginning of the relationship she is willing to do whatever, whenever, wherever. As age comes upon her, no matter how much a man tries to reinforce how pretty/sexy she is, she still has self-confidence issues. Not only that, but her body is changing and she is at a place mentally, physically, and emotionally that she wasn’t prior to. Men don’t get how drastically women evolve. The problem is, most guys don’t take the time to talk to their wife and try to grow with them. Talking (and being patient) is a form of attention women really need during that transition (I believe). Men chose not to do that. Rather, just get frustrated, think to themselves “this broad is crazy as hell”, then seek attention from someplace else. Guys like peace. If there isn’t peace in the home, most likely they will stray. Problem is a lot of times women go off for one thing, but deep inside are made about another issue. Guys are more direct. We either say what is on our mind, or bury it and don’t talk about it. Women will clock on you for not running an errand, but deep inside be mad about how you handled a situation with her and her family a few weeks back.

    All that to say it is a communication thing. A guy can’t figure out the changes of his wife (nor how to motivate her sexually), then tries to avoid confrontation and drama with her, and falls into a trap where they smash a younger girl who is too stupid to argue or cause drama because her dumbass thinks something may actually materialize out of the adulterous relationship. Problem is most guys don’t understand how vindictive and deep a woman’s mind could go….regardless of age.

     
  5. David

    October 9, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    This is some of the things that I replied to a year ago and I incorporated some additional thoughts to this.

    What women don’t understand is that men are complexed beings You just can’t give a man, ESPN, some wings, a video game, some toys, and occasional ass and think everything is okay.

    Yes, I would say some of it is sexual. Well I won’t even say sexual, but older men like that young women as a “trophy”. To show that they still have “it”. My take is slightly closer to yours Rome. It’s nothing worse than a nagging women. I think another reason why men tend to stray to younger women are b/c older women are set in their ways. Younger women are more prone to be open to new things. Some men are attracted to the unpredictability of younger woman. Younger women are probably more volatile older women, but that is b/c of their age. They are still wet behind the ears. A man (or least me) would much rather deal with a firecracker of a woman, than an old nagging, cackling hen anytime.

    On the flip side…we as men don’t wanna be old. That is why some men are always talking about “back in the day” or “when I was in high school”. We see age as surrendering. Men are prideful species..we don’t wanna give up. I call it the Al Bundy Syndrome.

     
  6. beans3bk

    October 9, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Believe it or not I agree with both of you, but have you ever thought of how bad the older woman must feel for being upgraded upon. You upgrade you electronics not your wife. I am not married and never have been so I really don’t know but I just think that is so cruel and ridiculous. How can you vow to spend your life with someone and discard them when a newer, fresher model comes your way. You don’t make vows before God with your TV. I don’t see how they could sleep at night, but that’s just me. I am getting older so I have begin to evolve also and the mere thought of it all sickens me.Yes women do nag at times but think of all the wonderful things they do and no I am not just speaking in the sexual nature.

     
  7. © J. McCarthy

    October 9, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    I think older women are sexy. Nothing like a refined woman. But I think you missed our point. I don’t think neither of us were saying that we would just leave. We were just addressing how guys think. Granted, there are men who are just superficial and leave, but for the most part I seriously doubt that most men would leave if their woman at home…well, if they understood her. You are never too old to be a freak. I mean, real talk. You can be 45, and take your man out to the garage and lay him on the hood of the car and hook him up. I mean hell, you married, so now you can actually do it and not feel guilty about it. Go out in the back yard and lean against a fence. Men are attracting to that spontaneity. Problem is when they try to motivate their (old) woman, they just don’t understand there are other issues bothering her. I truly believe that sex is about 90% mental with females. I do think they get pleasure, but you can’t tell me sex is not more enjoyable as a woman when you are deeply in love with a caring, giving man…versus a fling. Having a man treat you like ish, then take your clothes off and join with you is completely different than having a man truly care about you, your concerns, and your growth…then joining with you.

     
  8. © J. McCarthy

    October 9, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I didn’t finish before I hit enter (lol). All that to say if a man can’t figure out what is bothering his woman, he probably won’t have that spontaneous sex like he desires because her head is not in it. And if her head is not in it, then she most likely will be a nag, then…well, back to my original post.

     
  9. David

    October 9, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    Man you got that right Romey Rome…ain’t nuffin like an older woman…

    I do think they get pleasure, but you can’t tell me sex is not more enjoyable as a woman when you are deeply in love with a caring, giving man…versus a fling. Having a man treat you like ish, then take your clothes off and join with you is completely different than having a man truly care about you, your concerns, and your growth…then joining with you…..

    Preach my brotha…

     
  10. beans3bk

    October 9, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    I agree with that, there are so many factors that can wreck a relationship. Now I am not married, but I will say there is nothing better than good spontaneous sex with someone you love, let me get back before I hit TMI state, lol. I just think if a man told his wife this if she really loved him he would work on staying with her, sorry if I am off topic my mind is racing today.

     
  11. David

    October 9, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Beans I just want you to know that David has turned over a new leaf….I had the opportunity to gut punch you based off your comment, but I didn’t. This is the kinder, gentler David.

     
  12. beans3bk

    October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    I appreciate the kinder,gentler David but I don’t need you to point out the difference between making love and a fling, I do know there is a difference, but thanks!!

     
  13. © J. McCarthy

    October 9, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    What we talking about again? lol.

     
  14. beans3bk

    October 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    Sorry J, your boy tends to ruffle my feathers. Men leaving their wives for younger women, sorry I am back.

     
  15. David

    October 9, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    Ruffle feathers….naw homegirl…I call it like I see it. I mean…you the one that said and I quote, “Now I am not married, but I will say there is nothing better than good spontaneous sex….” Rome she bout to make me do a slim shady and turn me back to the old me…This is what I was talking about..

    Believe it or not I agree with both of you, but have you ever thought of how bad the older woman must feel for being upgraded upon. You upgrade your electronics not your wife. I am not married and never have been so I really don’t know but I just think that is so cruel and ridiculous. How can you vow to spend your life with someone and discard them when a newer, fresher model comes your way. You don’t make vows before God with your TV. I don’t see how they could sleep at night, but that’s just me. I am getting older so I have begin to evolve also and the mere thought of it all sickens me.Yes women do nag at times but think of all the wonderful things they do and no I am not just speaking in the sexual nature.

    Sometimes that is how the cookie crumbles….you know like that commercial….gotta go gotta go gotta go right now…okay that was mean!!! Getoutta here Dew.

     
  16. beans3bk

    October 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    Where is the kinder,gentler David , Dew can kick rocks. Love is more than a trophy wife. When it all boils down to committment.I think you know that.

     

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