Know your own strength…

This was initially supposed to be a small Facebook status, but the more I typed…the more came out, so I decided to share this with everyone.

Probably the realest status I’ve ever posted. For four years now the months of February and March has given me a different set of emotional issues. It was February when my dad died and march when wife died. As I set in traffic on the highway listening to this gospel playlist…a song that was sang at Ronya’s funeral came on…I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT AGAIN WITHOUT JUST BREAKING DOWN…but today no tears…no breakdown…just a smile.

Psalms 30:5….weeping may endureth the night but joy cometh in the morning.

My night might have been a little longer than others…but my Sun did shine. So with all this being said family…press through your storm. Don’t give up. It’s all in God’s perfect plan and divine timing. Don’t be scared of a little rain. All plants need water to grow. Understand this…if you are not dead…it made you stronger. You must recognize and utilize the strength that you now have. There
is not much worse in the entire world than not knowing your own strength.

Be blessed all and have a tremendous day. This might be the only time someone hears this today…hey you!….yeah you…I LOVE YOU.

Copy and Paste….

…..is one of my favorite things.  This small invention has saved me a tremendous amount of time….especially these last few weeks.  Today is Motivational Thursday and I don’t have any scriptures per say, but I do have a few things that I have to say and it just might motivate someone here.  I know some of you are wondering where I’ve been.  I even received several emails from folks that wanted to know what was up.  So bear with me….sit back and enjoy my dysfunction.

Things have been crazy in my personal, educational and professional lives.  The personal life….whew.  That is a conversation for another time.  Just know that Dew….is having some turmoil on the inside of me that is off the chain.  So, from that standpoint I will save that for another post.

Now this copy and paste thing has been working for me lately.  I’ve been so busy…just copy and paste….lol….it’ll get you by.  See this is the thing that has been weighing on me lately.  Hey when you don’t have power for quite some time, you have the opportunity to reflect on things.  That reflection is like a double-edge sword though….it can slice you coming and going.  Well while I was in reflective mode, I thought about how our generation has become so automated.  We are into instant gratification.  I actually remember having this conversation with a few of my friends a few years ago.  Everything is now, now, now.  Everybody wants their income tax refund back now….and are willing to pay two or three hundred dollars to get it….Everybody always are getting pre-approved for something…..We have to run to the ATM (opposed to waiting at the bank)….microwaves, fast-food, cell-phones, same day dry cleaning, even 10 minute oil changes.  We function off of the now.  Without having power, things slowed down for me.  I couldn’t have everything when I wanted it.  The grocery store was running over, even going McDonald’s took roughly a hour and a half.  The McDonald’s thing was weird, because when you are used to getting your food from McDonald’s in 5 minutes and then all of a sudden you are waiting 90 minutes for two dang on double-cheeseburgers….you look at things differently.  I really think we need to be less dependent and more independent…NO, I’m not talking about having no power and living off the land, but just slowing down….turn off the television and radio…talk to your children, read more and spend some quiet time….reflecting…

School had been UGH…I mean my classes are easy, but the power issue threw me for a loop.  I pride myself on being prepared…..but no power man….it just hit me with a curveball when I was thinking fastball….All my professors pushed due dates back, but they coinside with due dates for other assignments.  See this is the problem…I was forced to take online classes this quarter….I really only wanted to take two online classed, but two of my classes got cancelled and thus I’m stuck with 4 online classes.  I don’t know if any of you have ever taken online classes, but it is sooooo much work.  The work is not hard…but it is a ton of reading.  When you don’t have power…it is hard to read in the dark….especially when you children are out of school for a week.

Anywho….I think I have an idea for a new spot here.  I’m thinking it’ll be like a once a month thing.  I’m gonna be like Dr. Abbey, but instead it’ll be called Ask Dew.  You can shower me with all types of questions or comments and I will answer them.  I don’t know….just something different, so I can interact with you more.  So just in case you got bored while reading all of this….I will re-post this later by itself…..BUT if you decided to read it all…here you go.  I don’t care what the question or comment is….just send it to my email….askdew@gmail.com and I’ll respond to them.  Much Love….(no quote of the day)

Dew

You better get your mind right….

….It has almost been a week since my last blog.  I guess I could say I haven’t blogged because I was extremely busy or I had an emergency….none of these were the case.  I haven’t blogged because I just didn’t want to.  Sometimes you just get in a place where you just don’t feel like doing to much of anything…and that has been me for the past week.  I actually have been busy this past week, but I had several opportunities to blog….hey, at least I missed ya’ll! This is kind of long…and I don’t mean to be preachy or deliver a sermon, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do…part 3 of ?????

With today being Motivational Thursday, I think I will stay with the current theme of “moving”.  I want to tell you about a situation with #1 and maybe….just maybe we can tie this all in together.  I love my children so much…it is crazy.  I know you are probably thinking that is normal, but the love I have for my children is so intense now.  It seems weird, but since my wife passed away months back, it is like I’m more cognizant of everything with my children.  It is like I have to love them more….for both parents.  Maybe I am overcompensating….man, I dunno.

#1 has his first “real” game of the season tonight.  They scrimmaged last week and I was amped about how dude played.  He did his thing out there.  Even though it is only Middle School football, some of the parents act like these cats are playing for the Vince Lombardi trophy (that is the Superbowl trophy if you don’t know).  I mean it just is not that serious.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the one of the first to get in my son’s grill if he is not performing up to his capabilities ( I guess that is the coach in me)…but I won’t go overboard….when dealing with 11-13 year olders you have to know your limits.  I know everyone wants a winner….me too, I can’t stand to lose….and those that know me will tell you that I am the consummate competitor, but you still have to understand that these children are still learning the game.

Okay…here we go…#1 is my namesake so I will call him Dew Jr….we call him DJ for short.  This dude has a crazy amount of talent, but he can sometimes be lazy.  He is not a practice player….I repeat…He is not a practice player.  We moved to this school system just about two years ago when he was in fifth grade.  He has always played football and baseball, but he hasn’t played for the football for the past two seasons.  Number one because he played running back and has taken a ton of hits for basically four years.  He started playing when he was in kindergarten.  Number two, I just did not want him to get burned out on it.  Giving him a season or two off rested his body and also made him hungry to play.  Finally, my wife was getting sicker, so we just didn’t have the time to shuttle back and forth between practice.

Let me speed this up a little….so there is your background.  Now it is football season and he is ready.  He wants to play for his Middle School team…I’m like cool….I’ll support him with whatever he wants to do.  It is August and we hadn’t received anything about the start of football conditioning….so I call up to the school and they had actually started practice.  They were three days into it.  I talk to the coach and I get him to practice….so he is at a disadvantage…he didn’t grow up through this football program and he is behind the 8-ball with conditioning.  Mind you that he has always played running back and linebacker….so the coaches take one look at him and they change his position.  Dude is thick though…really solid.  He is going to start lifting weights with me this off season….He is already strong as all get out, so man you can imagine.  He is pretty upset that they changed his position, but the coaches did not know him.  Fast forward now, they are two weeks into practice and he is doing just enough to get by…so the coaches throw him on Red team.  The Red team is basically second string…they call their first team Black….okay…I’m really trying to speed this up.  I go to just about all of his practice.  I just park and watch from a distance.  I really just observe…I watch everything.  I only offer my opinion IF DJ asks me what did I see or what can he change.  He actually does a great job asking for advice.  I basically lay back UNLESS he is just lallygagging….and then I will call him on it after practice….but that is few and far between.  I would notice that it is this one coach that is always talking to him…literally after every play.  So I asked DJ what was going on…he said the coach was helping him out.  If you ever have coached before you see things in certain players….you tend to stay on them more…that is just the nature of the beast.  DJ had been out of football for two seasons now, so it was kind of hard from him to get adjusted  back to the speed and violence of the game.  He has the body for it, but those muscles had not be worked like that in awhile.  Even though he stayed active by playing baseball (I actually think he is better in baseball), the level of intensity is miles apart.  Conditioning was hard for him.  He would come home sore and limping….just worn out.  All the running and conditioning took a toll on his body….and the fatigue was affecting his judgment too….but as the days passed, things started to get easier for him.  The drills and conditioning started to help….but he was like in this stagnant place…while some of the other players were progressing he was progressing but not moving at the pace he should be.  That was because of his flying under the radar attitude….doing just enough not to get yelled at.

So I noticed this…and one thing about being a father….there is one thing that I will not tolerate….half doing something.  My children know that I would rather them not do something, then to half do it.  What I decided to do is after practice, DJ would do some extra work at home (I actually run every sprint and drill with him)…about 20-25 minutes are so.  We work on foot agility drills, we run this hill about 15 times outside our place….we do quick sprints to work on speed….you know things to get him moving.  His problem is that he does not pickup his knees when he runs….so he is moving, but not up to his full capability.  Here we are now….After just two weeks of extra practice at home…DJ was named a starter on both sides of the ball for the first game of the season….by hard-work, determination and movement….It is a saying that I frequently use as a coach.  You play how you practice.  If look at a teams practice, that’ll tell you how successful that team is.  This philosophy can be used in any aspect of life…

I say all of that to setup this little bit here…..Movement is part of the evolution process.  You have to be able to move and adapt to whatever your situation is.  He we go now….you see DJ was getting just enough from his coaches.  Even though the coaches tried hard, they only could get him to a certain point…feel me?  DJ needed his father to give him that guidance and direction to push on over the top.  Okay, let me say this in a different way…this is what we do to our Father…we go to other coaches (friends) to seek advice for situations….instead of going to our Father (God) for the ultimate solution.  He conditions us…he makes us move our feet…lift up our knees when we are tired.  One thing I notice about my son…he reacts to his coach, but if I stand up and raise MY voice, he perks up and gets the job done.  We do the same thing….we move when we hear our Father’s voice….commence to marination time.

Stop seeking other coaches for advice….Seek our Father, it’ll make thinks alot easier.

Dew

I can’t stand curveballs…

….as most of you know who read my blog on a daily basis know that my brain is like this dysfunctional 20 lane highways that has a ton of twist and turns in it.  Even though it goes a mile a minute, it is like organized chaos.  Even throughout all the twist and turns, I seem to stay pretty focused until today.  I pride myself on keeping my composure at all times….again until today.

I had all intentions of writing the next installment of my blog from yesterday and also the typical Confessional Friday post…well I guess this can actually be a confession of some sort.  I was at my college’s bookstore today to pickup my books for the fall term.  Well all the lines were long as all get it.  A ton of people…and I did not really feel like being bothered.  I grabbed my books, all except for one.  I remembered that my sons mother took this communication class last term, so I called her to see if she still had the book….BINGO, I have action, she still had it….so that is one less book that I had to buy. Okay, after maneuvering through all these folks to the checkout line, man the lines seemed longer than those that be at an amusement park on a hot summer day.  I’m in the line right…..and out of the corner of my eye I see somebody I really didn’t want to see.  I’m saying to myself, “self…hide m’fer” (ahahaha, maybe I should have not thought that but it is what it is).  I really did not feel like being bothered and especially with this bug-a-boo.  So what do I do….hide like a mug.  My confession…I do it all the time…I just don’t want to be bothered.  I ignore people when they call my name…or I pretend like I don’t even see them.  People can get on my nerves sometimes…

Anywho, like I said this was supposed to be part two, but I had one of those highway traffic jam moments while I was in the line waiting.  I was looking at some of the school supplies and then all of a sudden I started to think about my wife.  Instantly I start to well up.  I’m trying to keep my composure because it is literally hundereds of folks in the place.  The more I tried to contain myself, the harder it became.  I started to think about the last days she was here on earth, her last words….her last breath.  All those emotions came running back.  I was thinking about when I left the hospital after she passed, I couldn’t take her belongings in the house.  They stayed in the car for quite some time.  I started to think about how many people called me and left messages in just a matter of hours.  I turned my phone and my voicemail was filled to capacity.  Even as I type now, I’m hit with emotions…but that word “move” just popped back into my head….I get to that in a second…that is crazy how that happens….my intent for this blog when I started to type 5 minutes ago was something totally different….back to my situation today.  I was trying to figure out for the life of me where was all this emotion is coming from…then it hit me…it is the 29th…since she passed March 29th….every 29th I get hit with emotions.  It is like her way of letting me know she is still with me…..

When I think of move in this situation….I think of passing through…overcome comes to mind.  The act of moving is not only physical it is mental as well.  See I’m in the midst of passing though a situation….pressing on towards an ultimate goal.  If we don’t move past our past…we will never pass through to our future.  Remember all….you have to go through so calamity in order to pass through an ordeal.  God has so much in store for us, we just need to move….okay…I don’t know where that came from, but be blessed all….so I guess this is part 2 of ???

Dew

when I move you move…part 1 of ?

Okay, it seems like I had all these outside forces working together as one to prevent me from blogging today….from work, home, school and other personal issues things just kept on cropping up.  I was actually getting irritated by all of it.  Have you ever got to the point when you were so frustrated with everything and everyone around you….you just wanted to just go…no specific destination…but just go somewhere for a few hours.  That is how I have been the last few days.  It is like the smallest of things set me off.  I don’t get irrate or anything like that…I just cut the situation or person smooth off.  It is nothing for me to shake something loose.  I have always been like that.  My wife used to say that I was the coldest, caring person in the world.  I mean if you are on my team…its not nothing that I won’t do…..but if I am jabbed the wrong way….it is curtains…seriously.  Anywho….I’m really not sure how this blog is going to end up….how long it will be or should Iet it go at some point.  So in advance I apologize for any scatter-brained moments…if I’m not making sense….and grammar/spelling issues.  I don’t go over or spellcheck…..I just write kind of raw for my blog.  If this was a paper, I would though…lol.  By the way, I made the Dean’s List for the second straight quarter.  Please feel free to donate to the cause (hahaha just kidding).

I talk about my dude the Brain all the time.  We are on this qwest for world domination.  I mean we really have some tremendous things that we would like to accomplish together and also seperately.  He lives in Texas and I truly believe that the Lord planted him there before me to start sowing seeds.  I say before me because I will be moving down there sometime soon I really believe.  I think once we are together….world ya’ll better watch out.  The key is to listen….listen for God’s voice.  I need to move when he tells me to move…..and I’m not talking about just moving in the physical tense….but the mental tense as well.  You don’t have to physically be moving to move.  I was doing a little research on the actually word “move”…and there were a few definitions that stood out to me:

1. to advance or progress
2. to prompt, actuate, or impel to some action
3. a change of location or residence
4. an action toward an objective or goal; step

I’m gonna stop right there and let you marinate on that….see you tomorrow….

Iron Shaprens Iron…

Okay people, I really haven’t been blogging like normal because this is the end of the Summer term, which means….FINALS.  I actually only have one legit final which is in Algebra (yuk) and my second final is a connection paper in Eng/Lit.  I have to connect a short story, poem and a play…then present it.  Not a problem.  I love PowerPoint.  Man, I had an Algebra test last week and I had the biggest brain fart ever!  Has that ever happened to you?  I KNEW the material, I had been over it, we reviewed it…and it seemed to be embedded.  I get the test and everything was like…whoosh….a big tidal wave and all that knowledge was gone.  I was so pissed.  I don’t make excuses, but it had really been a stressful week.  It was #2′s first birthday since the passing of my wife (5 months ago) and I had to explain somethings to her.  I had a paper to do and a ton of work at my job….so my brain was zapped.  My doctor told me that my brain is working on overload right now (hahaha).  Maybe it’s not funny, but sometimes I have like a million and two things going through my mind.  It was so bad that I couldn’t even remember my pin number for my ATM the other day.  It took me a day to detox I guess, before I was able to remember it.  I’m at the ATM and I tried so many combinations.  I promise it was upwards of 20 of them.  Finally, I just gave the ____ up (insert your appropriate adjective here).

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to one of my friends…actually it was Brain.  You remember Brain, from the Qwest for World Domination post.  He had an open challenge for me, Bertha  and our blogs.  I know at times it doesn’t seem like I am the most religious person, but I actually am.  I am a God fearing Christian man.  I love worship and fellowship.   I know if it wasn’t for God intervening in my life, Dew would not be here or incarceration would be probably the second flavor of choice.  I’m not about to get into a sermon, but I have dedicated Thursday’s to become Motivational Thursday’s.  If someone has an inspirational story about how God has moved in their lives…maybe you have a scripture….whatever it maybe…Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) states that….as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. 

I really hadn’t plan on blogging today.  I have a ton of work and I need to finish a paper by 6p today, but I was reading Brain’s blog this morning and I had one of those epiphany moments again.  I know Brain will forgive me (also it is a shameless plug for his blog) but I want to kind of piggyback off his his blog. 

My son is also playing football.  It is actually his first year of junior high ball.  He has been off the past two seasons because of my wife’s illness, so he has to get acclimated to everything again.  Well the first few practices he didn’t struggle, but he was just frustrated.  He has a ton of talent, he has no choice because of genetics (hahahaha just kidding), but he was just a step off.  I mean a split second off on everything.  After the first few practices I could see the frustration.  For one, the coach was playing him out of position and for two, he is just rusty.  Okay, this is where I toot my horn a bit….no I’ll get to that in a second.  #1 and I have been spending a ton time together lately.  I even had a friend tell me yesterday, that we actually need some time apart because we were arguing like brothers.  If I don’t go to class, I stay at his practice and just observe.  I’ve coached football for several years and also I was a pretty decent player myself (you hear the horn).  Anywho, at practice Tuesday I seen a few things that I thought that he could improve on.  So after practice we were talking.  I could kind of sense that he really didn’t want to talk with me.  The thing is, he really wants to make a name for himself.  He is my name sake and he loves it….EXCEPT for when we travel in the city.  Just about everywhere we go someone is telling him about his father.  They tell him stories about games I played in…they tell him how good I was….then I have players that I’ve coached that tell him that I was their best coach…dude literally rolls his eyes like he is saying, “enough already!”  I can’t blame him, because it does seem like it is actually all the time. 

I have a nephew that starts varsity for the high school where I live.  He is really a beast…when he applies himself.  One thing I like about him though…after every game or practice that I go to…he is picking my brain.  He asks me all types of questions from technique and performance to the recruiting process.  He told my son the other day that he had an advantage that probably alot of kids on his team doesn’t have.  He has a father that was extremely good and was a good coach.  He told him that, “if Unk was my dad, I would be in his ear everyday.”  Nephew actually changed his football number to my old number…made me feel good.

Alright back on track now.  I gave #1 some advice Tuesday about some of the things I felt he was doing wrong.  I was not over-bearing, we had a good talk.  Wednesday when I picked him up from practice, he didn’t even say hi, all he could say (his face was lit up), “daddy EVERYTHING you told me worked.  It was so much easier and I had so many tackles in the backfield.”  Right at that moment I was just in awe of the power of God.  He used this time for my son and I to bond.  He did it through an athletic forum.  On the way to pickup dinner….he could stop asking me questions on how to do things.  I really feel like my son think it is a good thing to be like his daddy.  He even tried to get my old number, but someone in 8th grade already had it.

God will take the most inopputune time, to help you realize what is important to you.  All that comes to mind now is a song that #2 sings all the time.  It is actually a song that her mother taught to her when she was younger…just a quick line…”God has smiled on me….He has set me free…God has smiled on me…He’s been good to me”…. man that is awesome.  Be blessed.

Love your children – Dew

Dew