Independent Woman’s Syndrome

I am treading with extreme caution on this subject. I know that it is terribly sensitive and could be taken the wrong way (and I will get some backlash), so I will be respectful…but this is my blog so you know that I will do it my way. Quite some time ago I was in a debate with a friend of mine…actually I had this conversation with several people of the course of a few weeks. It was the topic of what I love to call Independent Woman Syndrome…or IWS for short. Of course many of us had similar yet different perspectives on the topic….thus this made me want to write about this. Now I can base my stance from a biblical standpoint and it would be a no brainer…but then that would encompass submission…training…etc…but I won’t. These are my opinions and I will for the most part keep it to what I think.

 I…let me state this again…I feel that many women especially in the black community are suffering from an extreme case of this syndrome. I’ve talked about this many times before, but I am so sick and tired of hearing those common clichés of, “I don’t need a man for this” or “I can do that”….you know the “Anything he can do…I can do”….or this is my favorite one… “I DON’T NEED A MAN TO COMPLETE ME”…blah blah blah…shut up…put a sock in it (a dirty one at that). Please ladies you are starting to sound like that Charlie Brown teacher. Earth to independent woman, yes you do need a man…sorry it is just a fact…BUT… I’ll give you this tidbit…not any man will do…you need a good one. Okay…here comes the rebuttal… “There isn’t any” or ‘They are gay”….again ma’am…quiet please. There are good men and in abundance but the issue may reside within you…INTERNALLY you know. Maybe some women should stop blaming external factors on the demise of relationships and look within. Women ask yourself this…in any relationship that you have that has come to an end…have you HONESTLY looked at yourself objectively and weighed any contributing factors from you. Now I am not giving guys a pass because many of us are jerks…and even the good guys have jerk tendencies…but that IWS will do it every time. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why you are getting what you got:

• Are you equally yoked with the man and on every level…spiritually, mentally, emotionally? You don’t have to agree on everything, but at least be on the same accord. Many women take spiritually for granted. Sometimes, women you tend to think that since your man goes to church you are spiritually yoked…sorry ma’am…that is not the case.

• Are you willing to submit…I’m not talking about succumbing or servitude…but willing to let the reigns go a bit to allow him to have dominion (this is more for married couples).

• Look at this man…know what he is. Don’t try to turn a 2 of club into an Ace of spade. Sorry ladies…go ahead and try to play that club like a spade and see what happens.

• How does he treat the important women in his life? Whatever he does around them, he will do around you. What makes you any different? I hope it isn’t because of your female privates…because real talk…those come a dime a dozen.

The skinny of it is…women READ THE MEMO…there is an order to everything under the sun…ESPECIALLY IN MAN/WOMAN RELATIONSHIPS. Find the cure for the syndrome.