Father’s Day….after the show…

…I wrote this to my father and I planned on releasing it on Father’s Day…but the interesting thing is that something hit me…I knew that the web would be saturated with Father’s Day this…that and another…so I decided to write to my father separately…kinda to set him apart…

Dad…

I know you are not here physically on this Earth to read this, but for some peculiar reason I know that you are peeking down reading this as I type.  It has been slightly over two years since you took your last breath.  You know…I never thought in a million years that I would EVER feel the way I do about you.  You have been the source of so much pain to me.  At one point in my life, I wished that I would never cross paths with your again.  I resented the fact that I came from you.  For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why things went sour between us…but over the course of time I have come to understand that I must go through things to achieve what’s in store for me.

For years, I wanted to be so bitter and angry towards you…and for the most part I succeeded, even after I told you that I forgave you…but the strangest thing happened to me…through all my pain…hurt…frustration and heartache…I began to understand that you were a man and you made mistakes.  I understood the fact that you could not make up for lost time.  I knew that all we could do is move forward from the point your re-introduced yourself to me.

The thing is dad…I do love you…I always had…and even that you are gone…I always will.  First I must apologize to you for the feelings I had towards you.  I know that even though I was angry…they still were inappropriate.  It saddens me that it takes for you to be gone two years before I can say this to you.  Even though I might feel that you didn’t go about things that correct way…I thank you for the life you have given me.  I thank you for the things that you did teach me. 

I don’t think I have ever said this…but Happy Father’s Day Dad….I do love you…until me meet again.