Addition by Subtraction pt. V

It is simply amazing, as my emotions turn from hot to cold and then back to hot again.  I always seem to find myself in the most peculiar of positions.  I wish my life would be smooth…or do I really?  Good question…on one hand I would love to have this stereotypical black and white life…the predictable type…safe or I could have a life of deliberately thoughtless, disorganized, free-spirit …a matter of choices…I guess.  If you’re asking me…I would prefer a blissful balance of the two…but what we want many times pale in comparison to what we receive…better yet what we need.  Where is this going…you probably guessed it by now…addition by subtraction.

Saturday morning started off slow…off to work…well hell…just check my last post and you can see how the previous day went.  I’m scheduled to arrive at this new facility fairly early.  As I drove to the destination, my mind wondered…now those that know me best would tell you that confidence is not an issue I have…they probably would describe me as the love child spawned from a ménage trios of cocky, confident and arrogant.  I know that is a horrible visual…but that is what I’ve been told.  Don’t shoot the messenger.  I wondered how the employees of this company would receive me.  I should note that what I am coming to do is something that is completely foreign to them…and change is sometimes met with opposition.  I’m coming to this company in strictly a consultative role…so I don’t wanna ooze the attitude of being the “chief” while everyone else are “Indians”…is that really politically correct to say anymore?

After I gave my initial overview and direction of what should happen, it was showtime.  Of course with anything new there was hiccups…and we had a severe case of them.  Yeah it did add fuel to the stress I have been over…but ooh well…what doesn’t kill me…makes me stronger.

The dockworkers start to unload my material from the “old facility” to this new facility.  As I stood from afar watching them…I became fixated on this piece of wood (weird isn’t it)…then I once again started to watch the employees work.  They are making progress.  With each pallet I am able to see the trailers empty one by one…in turn I am as able to watch this warehouse fill with product.  Initially, I felt great…the countless ours over the last three weeks are now coming to fruition…hard work does pay…doesn’t it?

I again became fixated on this piece of wood.  I start to think deeper and I must have slipped far off because somebody asked me if I was “ok”.  At that instant…I couldn’t help but to think about losing again…and why can’t I shake it?  I have placed countless hours in my old facility and in a matter of a few days it will be gone.  With each pallet thereafter I couldn’t help but to be overwhelmed with a feeling of heartache.  I was literally watching my job leave…then it hit me…its like a marriage (life that is)…for better or worse…addition by subtraction.