People don’t even want help no more…
…this is direct quote from a conversation I was having with one of my close friends on email today….yeah people want a handout…but people don’t want help anymore..is what I’m saying making perfect sense…I think so. How does that saying go..I’m not sure if it is a Chinese or African proverb…“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” It is like society has dumbied down things so much that nobody is willing to put in the necessary work to become successful or they just flat out don’t even what help no more.
I think it is a two-fold issue though people…there are people that wants help, needs help…but for some reason society places all these barriers, roadblocks and pitfalls in order for these people not to receive help….criteria….that is the word I’m looking for. I have a friend that is a honest hardworking man…he takes care of his family…works like it is going out of style…he wants to get a part time gig because there are other things that he would like his family to have…but since society has set criteria on certain things he is unable to….I remember one time I applied for a job and they told me that I was over-qualified…what they heck is that about? I was trying to eat and support my family like the next…how can society expect for the family to flourish if it constantly puts restraints on what you can or can not do….for instance they run credit checks before you get a job…and if your credit is jacked you can’t get a job….okay…I really don’t understand that…like society is setting you up for failure…explain this to me…a person is trying to repair their credit…in order to do that you need a job…but you can’t get a job because you have bad credit…is that back asswards or not???
Then there is the person that does not want to help their own self. If possible they would rather stay at home and have someone else take care of them if they could. Now I could understand that if you are sick….like terminally ill….well maybe I can’t understand that..because when Ronya was living and they doctors would not allow her to work she was so upset and she was terminally ill…she wanted to work…she wanted to contribute to her household…society is just off…the balance is do jacked up.
I was chopping it up with Brain today…that is my dude for real…it seems like alot of what each of our families go through parallel each others dramatically…it is crazy…but we were talking about being just fed up…you know at your wits in with a situation…see for me…since I have been in this rebellious state…I have not been wanting to hear it. I’m cut from a different type of cloth then the next man…things that you think that a man would worry about…I can care less..then the things that you think I would blow off are the things that get to me. With me it is the little things that I are about…the particulars…I love to be specific…the big things are easy….but I say all this to say, I’m in this state and I don’t want….or I didn’t want to hear it…anything that had to do with God, religion or a combination of the two…nada…I had been upset with God for a quick minute…but I know I can’t whoop him….so I punked out…lol….but seriously though…it is a process to getting my mind back right….head back perfectly off the swivel…what I mean by that….is when you have your head on the swivel you are constantly looking at everything opposed to focusing on what you need to be….hmm I like that.
There is a season for everything….all sun and no rain makes for a desert…that is a saying that sticks with me to this day. A close friend of mine told me that after Ronya passed. I was shopping…think I was at Macy’s looking at clothes for #2 and she called. She is actually one of my best friends wife and she was checking on the family. I thank her for that quote because sometimes when those storms come…we need to be thankful for them…I’m tired of being a desert…It is time to choose a side…either hot or cold…
Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential. – President-elect Barack Obama
David
David
Well David, you have said alot, First of all I am not sure why people are so into free stuff, I work, I go to school and do the mom thing hard. I hardly get any help from the government for my childcare for my three children, yet they watch the kids all day while some women go to the projects and kick it for a living. They get food stamps and everything else while I work and have to save and budget for food. It is beyond me. But I see it everyday. And on another note, you may be strong but you can’t beat God, so please get back with it and act like you know, what I know you know. Be blessed!!!
Well beans…it is not just about women…both sexes are just as accountable. Maybe goes back to being mature…heck, i dunno.
I try to stay off the men because I always talk about how sorry the man that donated sperm for my children is. I really didn’t want to go there today. How can you walk around and not make sure your children are fed or taken care of. It is all about maturity. I like to provide for my family, I want them to have nice things and i do every thing in my power to achieve that.
okay…that is the beans we all know and love…how did this go from society to no good men?
Well you brought up men, but i notice that people are not drivrn, they just don’t have thing and really don’t care if they get them or not. We had a discussion in my class a few weeks back about welfare reform. I am glad the gotta work. If they have less free time maybe they will stop having so many children.
I don’t think it was about getting things free or accepting handouts. I think he was simply making a statement that the system is flawed, and for those who need help it seems like the system is out of reach.
I hear what you are saying about working hard, and not taking government assistance, but I’d be a fool to just say the simple solution is to work hard and all your problems will go away. Life is not that simple. Some people are in in circumstances beyond our comprehension. Some people don’t have the same support systems that you or I have, thus they need some type of government assistance. Some people didn’t have the same instruction/teaching growing up. Some people didn’t have the friends we had. Some people didn’t have the role models. Some people were exposed to things we were not exposed to. There is a lot more that comes into play when you sit and think about the path someone’s life came down to get them to the point they currently are.
No Brain I aint saying that about handouts….my focus is on folks like you and I…and I guess beans…but folks that are hard working individuals…we are in school…managing departments…etc…but the system is flawed (your words) towards folks like us. Not to sound whining…but someone cut me a break….give me a shot…and I know you feel the same too…
Believe me J, I understand that but I just feel at some point you have to rise above all the adversity. Go out and be something. I am a 31 year old college student, I have a good job but I want more so I strive to better myself. I can’t just sit around and wait and i wish others had that same drive to go out there and get it. I know the system is flawed because there are so many peole working to climb out of poverty and the more money they make they take the benefits they give them.
David, I feel you , let my kids get free lunch or something. Allow me a little breath here and there. Single health insurance premiums are ridiculous. Not to ment ion all the other fees we have to pay just for our children to lead productive lives.
Well, I truly understand your blog. It is unfortunate that society or government has put certain restrains on getting a job for example. I totally disagree with the credit report as a background check. I could understand if the occupation causes you to deal with money. To be honest that is somewhat too and not fully understandable. Now, some may say I am a conspiracy theorist or something but the way these barriers are setup it is definitely not in the African American favor. Now, in this case I am not saying we all have bad credit but for the most part or maybe from my background or environment that I was raised. People may disagree and I am not here to discuss right or wrong, but I will said I will do what I have to do to feed my children. Honestly, I am not against government assistance but I am against when it is use as a lifestyle or a generation inheritance. Man, I wouldn’t be here if it was for it…LOL. That system within itself is another topic too, so I won’t go there because it is flaw and design awful. I have some problems and can argue for the recipient too. At times, we all may fall short and need some help. At the end of the day, white women benefits more off of welfare and affirmative action then what African Americans do. I have nothing against capitalism personally but as long as there are rich then there will be poor. Poor people (blacks & whites) are used as the escape goat when welfare does not make up a huge percentage in the deficit. I will stop because I am going somewhere else…LOL
I feel you Will…Honestly, I am not against government assistance but I am against when it is use as a lifestyle or a generation inheritance…that is how I am…if government assistance is used to perpetuate a generational curse of laziness, then I don’t agree with it at all. My issue is the fact that society picks and choose when the goose is good for the gander…
I feel you on that Will, sorry David I may be back off topic, but it a shame that people think all the people on welfare are black when that is no where near the case. I did a study on Appalachians and their living conditions in Dayton and they are really benefiting from the system, the sad part about it is when their benefits run out after the 36 months allotted they still don’t attempt to get a job and hardly any of them took advantage of the free training available to make themselves self sufficient. So it is not hardly all African Americans. They don’t even scratch the surface.
Yea Dew, I was defending your stance. lol. I am sorry, I was responding to Beans and I guess y’all were typing at the same time.
it is not all just about welfare…even though i know that is how we just spent the topic…but the premise of the post was about opportunity and affordability…i don’t mind that we stray from the topic, but what i’m about opportunity….would i like for someone to walkup and drop a mil on me and my family…who wouldn’t…but what i want more is an opportunity…and the sad state of society is that not everyone is afforded the same opportunity…i’m all about getting on your grind and making things happen…that is what i do now…but what happens when you tired of grinding…then fatigue sets in?
J what do you mean by that?
When fatigue sets in you rest for a few and get back out there. In the mean time keep it pushing. My kids gotta eat, and it is my duty to feed them.
It is not that simple beans….i’m talking about more than just feeding children…i’m talking about the uphill battle some fight when the odds are not in their favor…heck…we all gonna put in work for our kids to eat..what about the extra though…
I don’t know, I feel it is my duty and I fight battles daily but I can only pray for increase. I am drawn back to the Bible.Right now I am working on the plans for my business and I am praying for God to breath life into, not so that I can get rich but so i can help other be able to sustain themselves and provide for their families.
My first post was responding to your first post. Then Dew’s third post responded to my first…thinking I was responding to his second. Something like that.
Now responding to David’s sixth post, and yours prior to that (tired of counting), it isn’t that simple. I always fuss at my dudes about moving away from Ohio, but the truth of the matter is God opened a HUGE door for my family to be able to go, and prior to that we had been fighting for 3 years trying to get out. Life circumstances kept happening (death, illness, car repair, job situations, etc.) that prevented us from coming. It wasn’t as easy as just get up and go.
Yes Beans, you are not being lazy. You work hard, you go to school, you feed your kids. However, as easy as society tries to make it seem, the reality is all people can’t go to school. Everyone is not eligible for financial aid. Everyone doesn’t have a computer at home. Everyone doesn’t have a vehicle. Everyone doesn’t have family, friends or can afford daycare to drop their kids off. Everyone doesn’t have a background to allow them to obtain a job making an adequate salary to sustain their family. These are situations I am talking about.
Like I told Dew today, our people don’t know how to do nothing else other than fight, so we continue to press forward. I just tend to be a bit more empathetic because during that pressing, it is not as simple as some of us (who made it through) make it seem. We can’t sit and try to judge others by the same standards and how we came through life. What worked for us may not work for them. The path Will took may not have worked for me because of other factors in my life/upbringing. That was all I was saying.
I agree with that J, I think I am more critical at times because I know that some excuses people use are things I overcame. I had three babies,was single, they were 4 months, 1, and 2. I still got up and went to work and paid half my salary to a babysitter. I just wish people would try harder to achieve more. I think that is part of my calling to educate people that htey are better than what they can get out of the system. I know some people have no clue on how to work and thrive when they are 4 generations deep in the vicious cycle of nothingness. I must admit, I have a very strong support system.
Amen Brother David & Rome! My life circumstances and how I was raise I provided me an insight and compassionate for people less fortunate. I truly understand the uphill battle not only because I am experience but some of those very things I have been through before. I agree J, everybody struggle is different and I was blessed. See I had a mother growing up that didn’t let me hustle b/c I truly wanted to. Some of my friends did not have a support system and had little brother and sisters to take care of so they did what they had to do. Once again, I am not here to talk about right or wrong but I do have some understand for certain types of situation.
Just because I have obtained higher education it still does not change my battle or struggle. Just like Dew, I am not asking for a handout but an opportunity. Don’t get me wrong because I am an advocate of higher education but it does not guarantee you success or opportunity. Some may say, move away, join organizations, you couldn’t be trying, if I had your degrees…etc. Sometimes, you have to look beyond the surface of a situation. I had a friend that said those same things when we were working in a factory together. I had a bachelors and he was going through school. Just so happen he graduated and faced the same struggles but did not understand it until he was in those shoes. He thinking was that it was automatic employment (good job). Well for me, I do not have the resources or finances to up and move (trying to plan put things coming up), it is hard or a challenge for me to make club/organization meetings because it conflict with my kids’ schedule and plus we are down to one car. My whole point is this-it may seem like excuses but they are truly legitimate. Now, I am not asking for pity at all but that was just an example. I will say one thing that the Lord blessed me with is an extra helping of determination. I guess what I am saying and to be honest I can’t tell somebody how all the times but you have to grab a hold of something and not give up. It is truly challenging though.
My hat goes off to you Beans b/c J told me along time ago, you will be surprise what you will do for your family when you have to. That was when you drove back to Texas & had to get that car from your sister.
Fellas, I want you to know that I am truly impressed by all of you because I can tell you are strong Brothas taking care of your own. Walk tall, I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed begging for bread. Your faith in God will sustain you I really enjoyed this convo. It uplifted my spirit and I know we aren’t talking about men, but you are really doing. I am sure there wont be stories about you on the evening news but beans sees your struggle and feels it.