You Can’t Put a Price on it…

Happy New Year all!!!  Welcome to the year of 2012.  I just want to get that out the way before we start to talk about what we talk about.  If your eyes are reading this…that means you made it…which actually is a great thing.  The site looks kind of different huh?  Well I felt that my blog was well overdue for an overhaul and what better way to make a change then to correlate it with the new year.  I wanna say welcome to all  my new readers and subscribers…and to my returning readers glad you decided to come back.  Okay, I have to put this out there from time to time…because I do have new readers and also some of yall old heads forget…I…Me…David…yours truly or whatever form of I you want to use does not…I repeat…I DO NOT proof-read nor edit any of my post.  I truly believe to capture the essence of what I attempt to convey is mainly in the rawness of the delivery…so what you see is that you get…from my fingers to your eyes.  Plus, I do enough writing and editing at school… 

You can’t put a price on it…looking at this statement one can garner a surplus of ideas of what it means.  One can say that you can’t put a price on love (which I believe is true)…you can’t put a price on joy (agree)…I can go on.  What do I mean by this simple statement…You can’t put a price on COMPANIONSHIP.  Personally, I believe that there are a total of 5 “ships” that matter in life.

1. Companionship
2. Relationships
3. Partnerships
4. Sponsorships
5. Friendships

All of these “ships” make up our very existence.  They are the crux of what we are.  Each of these “ships” defines every essential part of our being.  Our “ships” dictate the who, what, when, where, how and why’s of our life.  They are a valuable cog in our lives.  As with anything…too much or not enough of one thing can lead to consummation of something great…or can lead to the demise and eventually something horrific.  Through all of this…it is imperative that we control our “ships” to create to most favorable outcome in our lives.

For quite some time now I have been pondering on subjects to write about.  Often I solicit the help from others, because my brain can get drained at times…and I attempt not to write about the same subject repeatedly.  The other day I was sitting alone at work thinking about all the people in my life…the good one’s…the bad one’s and those that don’t make the meter move either way.  As I’m talking to myself…I say, “Self?”…self says, “David!”…then I’m like aww hell…I’m talking to myself…hahahaha (true story…does that make me crazy?) That seriously did happen…but back to what I’m talking about…as I thought about the different “ships” it hit me to write a series on the different “ships” and what I feel like that mean…my plan is…over the course of the next 5 days, I will present to you a different post highlighting a “ship”.

You can’t put a price on it…that is companionship I’m talking about.  Without a doubt I think that companionship is the most important of the 5 “ships”.  Many people have it misconstrued…folks would tend to think that relationships, friendships or even partnerships are the most important.  I beg to differ and I will tell you why.  You can google companionship on the internet and most definitions of the word will state:

• the relationship of friends or companions.

I agree with the definition, but I would even take it a step further…a companionship is derived from the word companion which means:

• one of a pair; match
• comrade, partner, mate.
• a person employed to accompany, assist, or live withanother in the capacity of a helpful friend.

Let’s see here…a companionship has the components of a relationship, partner (partnership), friend (friendship)…in its totality…a companionship has 4 of the 5 ingredients of all the “ships” that I mentioned.  Essentially, a companionship is birthed via all the other “ships”…that is why it is the most important. Companionship’s are essential for total prosperity.  We can enjoy life by ourselves…we can achieve many things…even happiness can be obtained…but to truly appreciate life and the art of living we must seek and embrace companionship.  When a person has a true companion…it makes life worth living.  Companions are mates…one pair..a match.  Read those words over…that MATES…MATCH…ONE PAIR.  Companions are for a lifetime…they don’t put on seasonal attire.  Companions are here today…tomorrow and forever.  A companion will walk with you at anytime…they will be your legs when you can’t walk. Companions love you despite of you.  They are loyal to you when you aren’t even loyal to yourself.

“An apple tree is just like a person. In order to thrive, it needs companionship that’s similar to it in some ways, but quite different than others.”
― Jeffrey Stepakoff

Sometimes it is the Hardest Thing to do…

…letting a person go.  Every so often…and I am willing to bet a dollar to a dime that we all come to a point when we must end a “ship” in our life.  Some are easier than other to walk away from.  Today, I was faced with an ultimate decision…should I keep a person in my life…or should I continue to subscribe to these internal emotions that I have suppressed on the inside of me and ignored for an extraordinary amount of time.  Before I made the decision a number of things entered into my mind (and I will come back to this at another point).

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Just the other day I wrote a post about Seasons, Reasons, and Lifetimes.  The crazy thing is…I was oblivious to the fact that this blog would come back and speak to me.  Life is an amazing thing I tell you.  People in your life are even more amazing.  Just take a moment to think about all the people who you encounter on a daily basis…how many people you pour into physical, mentally, emotionally, spiritually…and vice versa…people that do the same things to you.  The number is quite alarming.  The funny thing is…at times we don’t even have a clue that we accomplish these things for others.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.- Raymond Lindquist

Sometimes the hardest thing to do…is letting a person go.  Pulling the trigger on a “ship” is like a game of never-ending tug-of-war…it doesn’t seem like anyone would be victorious.  It’s like you are playing this balancing act between your heart and mind…and anytime that is the case…you’re in trouble.  The heart can make the mind feel something it can’t understand…and the mind can make the heart understand something that it can’t feel (think about that for a second). but just because a person is riding your bus, doesn’t mean that they are to get off at your bus stop.  That goes back to slotting people accordingly.  I believe life is about many things…but a fundamental attribute to living is joy and being successful via making the correct decisions.  Choosing the right people to encompass you is a slippery slope…one must have a strong sense of discernment.  If you can’t discern properly, that is how seasonal people get lifetime privileges.

“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.” – The Wonder Years

Remember this…when progressing in life…have the ability to make the correct cuts.  Removing folks out of your life is not mean…it is necessary for progression.  Example if you are a recovering drug addict…chances for full-blown recovery are better if you associate yourself with people who are not addicted to drugs.  It is foolish to keep yourself around the same people you did before when you were getting high.  Relapse is a real possibility if so. Congregate with people who strive for you to be a better person.  Leaving situations behind is the harsh reality of life…don’t be afraid to make the pertinent cuts…its okay…God has many band-aids for the wounded. What happens when you don’t let people go…you handcuff your reality and insist on living a perception of your life.  It’s hard to go…but I gotta leave. Don’t be afraid to let people you know, become people you knew.

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” –Unknown

 

 

Financial Aid and Sidewalk Chalk…

Disclaimer…this post was actually intended to be released on 12/22…even though a few events have changed the basis of the post is still intact.  Felt the need to let you know…so you wouldn’t think that I was all the way dysfunctional…just slightly. 

I’m in the process of placing the finishing touches on my financial aid for the winter quarter and also registering for classes as well…ok hold on that was so random. Let me explain…due to my neglect I forgot to do a few things correctly and it seems that unless my appeal is granted, yours truly will have to pay or sit out this quarter at school. That sucks…but improperly prioritizing and not being thorough places me slap dab in the middle of this…so I have nobody to blame but the author of this post.

As I walked on campus today it seemed slightly different…there wasn’t an overbearing Christmas feel to the campus…in all actuality…I really hadn’t paid attention that Christmas was this Sunday until the other day when it was mentioned to me…true story. Well as I walked (and this happens a lot when I’m alone…I’m sure yall know this by now…I think)…thinking for me can go several ways and today was not any different. As I left the college of liberal arts main office…I looked around just because I can I guess…and I started to think about my goals and aspirations for the upcoming year…short, medium and long-term goals…excited, nervous and somewhat sad I was processing all the thoughts that I compiled. See the thing is that I don’t do resolutions…I think those stunt growth…I believe goals promote expansion…the average person usually honors their new year’s resolutions just for a few weeks. My short, medium, and long-term goals are an agglomeration..they each build upon the next.

Ok back on track…as I walked I looked down on the pavement and there to the left of me spray painted in ugly black handwriting…”U CAN DO IT”. Even though these are just a few simple words…they reign very much true. Kind of like a hand…seperate each finger serves a purpose but doesn’t have mighty power…but if you bind them together in a fist…you can strike a hefty blow.  ”U CAN DO IT” I said aloud.  I was thinking of how this applies to my current season in my life (im actually debating on the level of transparency here)…many of you know that I made the executive decision…well not really I…it was me listening and being obedient to God’s word exactly 2 years and 6 months to the day to not work and continue with my education extensively. This was a huge leap in faith…but I did it…over the course of these months…I’ve experienced many highs and lows…emotionally, financially, spiritually…etc. this ride has not been easy…recently I’ve.decided to go back to work part-time while attending school. I know things will be harder…due to time constraints…but it can be done.

Fast forward…in life we are presented with obstacles…hurdles…some harder to jump than others…life is a complimation of trials and tribulations designed to strengthen you along your ultimate journey. During this journey we learn many things about ourselves..at least we think we do…one thing I know is that the resolve of a person never truly manifest until the ultimate adverse situation is encountered. Many times these situations are in stark contrast to our goals.

Where am I going with all this…let’s see…when we set goals…we are personally making a declaration about the course of our lives…we are no longer standing for the status quo in our lives…Proverbs 21:5 the plan of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to proverty..

What is this all saying…your goal is merely a plan…a blueprint. Before any sound structure can be built a blueprint is needed. Be persistent in your goal. Often it won’t be easy..and If it was easy…how fulfilling is it really.  Any plan executed over time properly will lead to profit…BUT if one isn’t willing to.endure the rigors of the journey and prefers to expedite the process…more than likely will lead to emptiness…

Simply…set a goal…press through the process…U CAN DO IT. remember this…achievement and sucess is not a single action..its a life long process…

Short-Term Investments…Long-Term Attention…

With the upcoming New Year…I know many people are creating a list of resolutions that they plan to achieve this upcoming year.  My advice to many of you is this…exactly what the title of this post states, but I’m going to add two additional words that will change the entire dynamic of the title…STOP GIVING…short-term investments…long-term attention.  This is a major problem for many of us…because ace numero uno…most people look for immediate returns and are incapable of waiting for a delayed return…well incapable is a harsh word… they don’t exhibit the patience that is needed to endure a long-term return.

See…check this out…when a person attacks short-term investments…with long-term aspirations it never works.  That investment is current usage.  It is not made to endure longevity.  Have you ever sat back and wondered why you always seem to get the same response or end up arriving at the same place you always have?  Much of that has to do with the investment period…it is slotted incorrectly.  Let me put a spin on this…discern the type of investment…and attend to it as it is needed to be.  Let me go slightly deeper…all of us have people, circumstances, situations…whatever in our life that gives us trouble. Even deeper…there are persons in our lives that have been a part of our lives forever…and it seems like it is just a never-ending cycle of foolishness.  It is not that this particular person is a bad person…the fact of the matter is that you’ve slotted them incorrectly.  They are short-term investments…stop granting them life-time benefits…

Seasons, reasons, lifetimes….

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

 

I Have Much To Write…

…but I’m not sure how long I have to write it.  Hey everyone…its been some time again.  I know…I know…shaking my head. What can I say…I’m going to get it one day.  Hopefully it is sooner opposed to later. Okay, no empty promises, but I will try extremely hard to be more consistent with my writing.  School for me is slightly different this upcoming quarter…I’m predominantly taking on-line classes, so this should free up a tremendous amount of time where I can dedicate this to you.

Over the last couple of years I have written hundreds of blogs…the funny thing is many of them I never post.  I guess that is the quirky thing of being an alleged writer…A). one can write whatever they want 

and B). one can do with it as they please.  My goal is this for the upcoming year…TO BE CONSTANTLY CONSISTENT.  This is am enormous step for me, because I just haven’t been the structured type for a few years now.  I bet that inconsistent streak that peeks out from me often has caused the demise of many of  my “ships”…you know what “ships” are companionship’s, relationship’s, friendship’s…and any other one you can think of.

It happened again today people…well let me backtrack, this initially started about three weeks ago and culminated today.  It originated by me standing in a roll-a-way dumpster and completed with me on my hands and knees washing every centimeter of the bathroom today with a small rag.  One of this was by necessity, the other by choice…I won’t say which was what…but they both at first glance SUCKED!

Hold on…why did I do all that talking about writing blogs…well often I’m not sure what I write…I just write it…then if I feel the need to post…presto…cha-ching…ba da bing…you have it. Like I say all the time I write based on emotion…so if you pay attention to my writings…it’s easy to see the season that I am currently in…life that is.  Some time ago I met a lady…well met is too strong of a word…she was given my blog address and was interested in reading my writing.  Hell I don’t care who reads my work…I write to influence the mass (I guess)…naw…I’m lying…I write because it is therapeutic…Writing is like an epic orgasm to the soul for me.  Ooh no…sorry for the descriptive use of language…but that’s how serious writing can be for me.  Right…back to this lady…after she read a few on my post she became interested in my writings because we share a similar story…both have had a spouse pass away.  Now I’m not sure of any of the details of her situation…but I can feel her pain…Now I have NEVER spoken a word to this woman…nor exchanged emails…texts…or pleasantries…I just know of her.  After hearing a little bit of her story through our mutual contact I knew that at some point I would write a post for her…I just did not know when sooooo…and I never speak on people’s name’s on my post…but for these intended purpose I will…Ms. Evelyn…this blog is for you…

Life is life…it is what we make out of it.  It is filled with a plethora of smiles and cries…high and lows…there is an indefinite amount of adjectives that I can give for life.  There is one thing that I know Ms. Evelyn…one must learn to fall, before they can ever realize what getting up is.  All throughout life we are presented with obstacles that often derail our initial plans.  Growing up…we never think about the hurdles of life…we just know that we plan on being this successful person…maybe rich…good-looking…a beautiful house, family…dog and probably white picket fence.  We never think about the reality of things…sometimes bad things happen to good people.  We as people never ask for tragedy to happen…hell who wants that..but when we look at things sensible…before greatness is achieved…an epic failure has preceded it.

I remember standing in that dumpster a few weeks back…just thinking…”how and the hell did I get here?”…I’m not saying that this was a bad thing…but who the hell wants to be standing in a big ol dumpster?  As I looked over top of the opening of the dumpster I started to think about life…how many things in our life we discard…its not needed anymore…well its actually trash.  Let me tell you part of the reason why I was standing in the dumpster…I was actually clearing away some files from a storage closet that was no longer needed.  There was 365 days with of files, as you can imagine it was A LOT of files.  Instead of just throwing them in there any type of way…to maximize the space in the dumpster, I decided to get in and re-arrange things.

Now walk with me here Evelyn…today I was on the floor cleaning my bathroom with a rag.  It wasn’t my intentions to get down on my hands and knees…but my mop smelled like hot Cheetos and baby diapers…so that was a no-brainier. As I filled the bucket up with disinfectant and began to wipe the baseboards and the floor, I bent over in amazement…I don’t think that…scratch that I know that I have NEVER did anything like that before…so as I wiped everything…I started to get up…but I noticed under the faucet on the sink…there was some built up grime…even though the top of the faucet was exemplary…the bottom was less than desirable.  At this point Evelyn, my mind was wondering…because I know me…when I notice instances like this…it not normal…its time for me to zone in.

Why am I talking about “ships” and dumpster and mopping and such…this is the thing…it took me to be down on my hands and knees to be able to see all the filth of what was above me.  It allowed me to see how the surface…the exterior was “clean”…but the intricate…the interior parts of the faucet still needed to be clean.  It’s like that in life…you have to fall and sometimes fall hard to see what is needed to be seen.  Falling gives you a different perspective on life.   Like the files in the dumpster…sometimes we have to throw things away…we have to let things go…to truly receive what has been destined for us.  I had to clean out the storage closet to move newer things in…now I never will forget what was discarded, but what was discarded will help me cherish what is being imparted in my life.

Through all the pain you hold on to…realize this the crime is not in falling…the crime is in not getting up and progressing.  ”Don’t be afraid to keep moving on, For what was before, now has gone, God wants to accomplish so much more, But we need to move forward in the Lord.”

Life is a full circle…what goes around…will definitely come back around.  You can never be the head until you have experienced being the tail.  Finish the race…complete your circle.  Even though I don’t know you Evelyn and maybe will never meet you…I love you!  I pray peace and blessings over your life.

Can you miss your…date with destiny???

I’m actually pondering that question as I type.   Can you miss your date destiny?  I’m not sure of the answer to that question…but one thing that I know for sure and two for certain…by the end of this post I’ll know exactly what it is that I need to know.  Today is already kind of different.  First off, you know that it has been extremely long since last I’ve posted.  Like normal…I must apologize for my tardiness…but I always say…I might be delayed…but I’m never denied. Ooh yeah…one more thing…FYI I don’t edit my writings…I do enough of that at school.  Back to regularly scheduled programming which is already in progress…. Can you miss your date destiny?  Well…can you? 

Over the course of the last few weeks I have encountered some sleepless nights…as usual my life has been overwhelming demanding.  Lets see…it’s finals week at school…I’ve taken a basketball head coaching position (at a middle school) and football…whew football has been crazy to say the least.  Of course I must apologize for my neglect…actually let me say that I’m sorry.  I’m not a fan of people saying, “I apologize”…that just seems like a thank you text message…really informal, that is done out of obligation opposed to sincerity.  When one says that they are “sorry” it just feels more genuine…heart-felt.  Can you miss your date with destiny?

Okay, background…the high school football team that I coach in my city made the state high school playoffs in Ohio.  In Ohio that is a big deal when a school makes the playoffs because there are roughly 800-900 schools that participate in sanctioned football and only 190 of these schools qualify to participate in the playoffs.  On top of that…my school earned a home playoff game.  In all the years of football existence…no public high school in my city has ever hosted a playoff game…so this was history in the making.  Secondly, my team was playing the #2 ranked team in the entire state in our division.  Doubly as important.  What makes this even more significant is that our school is in the inner city of Dayton and anyone who knows about demographics knows about my city.   Even though my school is not the only high school in the city, we carried the entire weight of our city on our backs.  See to many people in Dayton, this was more than just your average run of the mill game…it was BIGGER.  It was the underprivileged, misguided, poor, non-disciplined, inner city community…against the BULLY…the judgmental, privileged, disciplined, wealthy Catholic school community.  Your classic David versus Goliath.  Black versus white. 

Can you miss your date with destiny?  Let me fast –forward because I can really see this post getting out of hand and me missing the entire purpose of the blog…maybe even missing destiny huh?  Back to the game…both teams came out extremely focused and it was an epic battle…the lead was changed or shared several time…but at the end of the night…it was my team that upset the #2 ranked team in the state and pandemonium ensued.  This was only the third playoff win for the entire school district in over 75 years of high school football.  The shockwaves that this victory sent across the state was insane.  No matter where I went that following week…I was greeted with nothing but respect and admiration for this tremendous feat.  Okay…here I go folks…I’m really getting off track…promise I got you….

We advanced to the second round of the playoffs and we were in uncharted territory…win this game and we would accomplish something that no other Dayton Public School has not…advance to the third round of the playoffs.  This week of preparation was like no other.  Our children knew the significance of winning this game.  We were locked…loaded and focused.  It was only one thing that stood in the way off our date with destiny…the #1 ranked team in our region.  Be patient now…it’s game-time and now its time to cash-in on all of our hardwork, the blood, sweat and tears since January.  Destiny is on the other side of the window and she is looking awfully beautiful.  Our team took control of the game early and raced out to a 13-0 halftime lead.  All appeared to be well.  We’ve preached to our children all season…to be great you must be willing to go above and beyond…one must be able to tread in uncharted territories in confidence and impose its will.  Can you miss your date with destiny?

Follow me now…life is about focus and adjustments.  It’s never how one starts…its how one finishes.  Typically, the person that makes the least amount of mistakes…learns from the mistakes that they’ve made…adjusts and be able to withstand adversity will always be victorious.  Back to the game…without warning…we started to make uncharacteristic mistakes…we started to forget assignments…we began to play unfocused…and our opponent began to play more consistent…and via our mistakes…they exuded more confidence.  They made halftime adjustments.  As the minutes ticked off the clock our lead dwindled until the score was tied going into the fourth quarter.  We were 12 minutes away from dancing with our destiny.  With the weight of the city on our shoulders again…we slugged back and forth with the #1 team.  Like a #1 team should…their greatness began to radiate.  The adjustments that they made started to manifest even deeper…and our lack of adjusting began to be exploited.  Finally, with less than 4 minutes to play, they took the lead 20-13.  Now our backs are against the wall and we must mount a drive to win the game…we are fighting and clawing all the way down the field.  And with less than two seconds in the game we have the ball on 4^th down at our opponent’s 2 yard line to tie the game.  We ran the play and our running back gets the ball…and in a controversial call…our running back was deemed to had fumbled the ball before he crossed the goaline and the other team recovered the ball…there you have it…we lost.  Stunned, dejected, hurt, wounded and angry…our date with destiny stood us up.

Where am I going with this…see in life one is presented with opportunities.  It is the choices that one makes…it is the decisions that they make when adversity strikes.  The true character of a person is not determined at the time of the test…that is a life-long misconception…the true character of a person is determined at the time of the pop quiz.  Does that make sense?  You might or might not agree but let me tell you this…One has time to prepare for a test…but how does one perform during a sudden change?  When adversity strikes how well do you perform…are you able to stand strong…adjust and re-focus?  Destiny is a part of life…we are all destined for something…but it is our decision making or lack thereof that causes us to miss out on our destiny AT the original appointed time.  

So can you miss your date with destiny?  My answer is no…you can’t miss your date with destiny…sometimes she just decides to change the date to another day…

Addition by Subtraction…

Like usual folks when the mood hits me to write I’m generally at some different type of emotional state. I’ve said it countless times…I’m most definitely an emotional being. Unless its academically influenced its extremely difficult for me in this season of my life to just have at it and write…not sure where down the line that happened…but I figure while this season is in session im gonna roll with it. For me the past few days have been somewhat emotionally draining…but that’s my life and I’ve learned how to adjust to these days…AND NO I’m not bipolar or mentally unstable…I have all my marbles and my elevator goes all the way up to the top floor…but these are the life and times of  David Dew Sr.

Chance…one thing is for certain and another is definite…absolutely nothing happens by chance and there is a rhyme, reason and purpose for everything under the sun.
Funny how purpose reveals itself…I was walking through the store tonight and I started to think about my life…when I was hit with the motivation I assumed that this would be another reflection post…in a way it is but slightly shifted a bit…Addition by Subtraction, I thought I was done with this series but…

Life…is full of unexpected twist and turns and its our job to navigate through these obstacles with grace and diligence. I believe I’m gonna be transparency for a sec or so. Somebody once told me…”Dew you didn’t ask to to through what you’ve been through.” That’s a true statement. For the vast majority of us…we never ask for what we go through…but that event…situation…person or whatever it may be has purpose in your life. Even if we don’t initially see it…or understand why…that purpose was on purpose to serve its purpose.  Think about that for a second and I will come back to it.

Transparent…I remember after Ronya died there was a point in time where I had to focus…looking back now I really don’t believe it was focus…I was in shock. There were certain things I needed to do that was critical for the survival of my family. It was pertinent that I have tunnel vision. If I hadn’t only God knows where we would’ve been if I didn’t. Then it happened…the calm…the idleness after the storm. I was forced to address issues. Reality at times can be a harsh teacher. I can remember the week after she passed, we had a routine…I would leave church, walk in the parking lot, call her at the hospital and ask what she wanted to eat…every single Sunday I did that. So now service is over…I walk to the lot and pull out my phone to call her…and then it hit me…she’s gone. WOW…what do you do…I’m literally standing in the middle of the lot with a phone in my hand not knowing my next move…IN LIFE. Reality bites! Humans are creatures of habit…my routine is broken…what do I do? My wife was an enormous part of my life. Time…what’s gonna occupy that time now? Where do I go? How do you continue? Can I even get there?

Purpose…everything has purpose. There was a point in time I didn’t wanna be here. I just wanted die. No I wasn’t suicidal…but I just wanted to be gone. I went from this vibrant person…full of personality…to not caring. I managed my department at work. I stopped brushing my hair…I would wear a uniform to work didn’t matter if it was clean or dirty…I would wear these old beat to Hell Timberland boots to work with no shoestrings. I went to work late…it was a chore to get out of bed. When I got to work I would just go straight to my office and shut the door. I can remember taking lunch for 2-3 hours…I could care less. If it wasn’t for my three children I probably would have melted into obscurity. It was them that I now lived for…I no longer lived for myself…true story. If it wasn’t for them…I don’t think I would be here writing this blog. My children served a purpose in my life. They were the catalyst that rekindled my flame.

Obstacles…life is filled with them. Adversity comes via many means. What does one do when the obstacle comes…does one fight or flee? Is it what’s for me will be for me? Move…stay still…move while standing still? When these “barrier” moments arrive one presses. You see that obstacle has purpose. The problem is we focus so hard on the obstacle to we actually trip right over it. The focus should not be the obstacle…but what comes after we overcome the barrier. Watch me now…

Addition by subtraction…I had to go through that purpose in my life to serve my purpose. Ronya was a purpose…she completed her work on this earth. When I STOPPED focusing on what I no longer had (subtraction) God provided me with a series of  beautiful people in my life (addition). He gave me a second lease on life. I went through the purpose to become a better man…to become a better husband…to become a better father…to walk in my destiny. So when I marry this time…I won’t be tripped by the same obstacles.

Where am I going with this…FAITH. Before one can truly overcome an obstacle, one first must believe. One must have FAITH. See the thing is…I could not prosper because my focus was on my situation…not my solution. My solution resided in the Lord. Once I placed my FAITH in Him I was able to overcome….Isaiah 53: 4-5… 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our otransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Wants…Needs…Amenities,Necessities and Cake Batter

Again…it’s been quite some time since I’ve put pen to pad…fingers to keys or whatever you want to call it, and it seems like this is actually starting to become habitual…this on again and off again thing that I have with writing.  I dunno what it call it…maybe a form of neglect.  It’s funny because I bet my last few post have started this way…hell maybe even more…I guess I’ve fell into that trap of being consistently inconsistent…GO FIGURE!

I’ve wanted to write, but I guess my time obligation outweighed my desire to actually write, or I am just plum lazy.  Whichever (is that a word?) the case, it’s all an excuse and we know what they say about excuses…yep we all have one, just some are bigger than others.  Ha Ha Ha…my dry attempt at humor.

Where shall I start…hmmm I know exactly where, this had been a different week for me…I’m finishing up the Summer Term (can’t believe that I’m merely quarters away from receiving my degree’s…been a journey and a half), football practice has consumed my life, school is starting for #1 and #2…ooh and also dealing with an irritating health issue (which sucks) but I’m good.  For much is given…much is required.

As usual my writing is sparked by an action, even or thought and this time is no different.  As I am reading this book for class I was hit with a thought that I placed on FB…

God gives us exactly what we need; we just focus too often on that we think we want.  Continue to focus on the package and you will never appreciate the contents.  Stop settling…like a cake…does one’s concentration lie in the batter residue or the finished product?  Your destiny…control it!

I really drowned myself in this statement.  I know I have wrote things similar to this before, but I will allow my thoughts to do what they do and I pray that someone is moved by these words…

See the thing is people, God gives us the keys, He gives us the outlet but we love to shackle ourselves.  We concentrate on the what if’s and the its not fair’s…or the I feel like this or that’s…hell sometimes even the why me’s…but it’s after the fact we focus on situations from a positive perspective.  I believe it is an innate action to point the fingers initially before we ever take responsibility.  Also, what we consider the easy way out in all actuality is the most difficult way out.  Yeah it is more than one way to skin a cat…but quickest way from A to Z is thru J.  Walk with me for a second…John 8:12 says…When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” It’s thru Jesus where things are revealed but we rather retreat to our understanding.  That’s why things continue to happen…we severe ties with the Electric Company (Jesus) and rather light candles (us).  Okay…lemme back off that one because I can take off on it.

The basis of this blog is too speak on NEEDS opposed to wants…NECESSETIES opposed to amenities.  We as people get these things so twisted.  It’s great to want things, but one can’t live a successful life off wants.  Wants are superficial and eventually become detrimental.  For instance, I can want some fast food, but can I truly live off fast food.  Eventually, over time eating that way will deteriorate my health…but its needs that I prosper off of.  There are certain things that one’s body need in order to survive…you following me?  There is a distinct difference in the two…wants and amenities make me happy..that is what you search for in a hotel…but necessities and needs bring me joy…it is what my spirit searches for.  One of these are temporary enjoyment…the other is eternal bliss…discern.

Package…package…package.  To obtain something great one must endure something horrific (now the degree might be different).  If one never experience adversity, how can one stand firm when needed.  The package I say…we as people have a package mentality instead of content spirit…meaning this…many of us are shallow because we fear contents…not because we are actually scared, but because we are mentally immature and incapable of dealing with success.  If we ever “grow up” and realize that contents for outweigh the package, then out needs will flourish.

Lemme tie all of this into the previous statement.  When we bake a cake…we taste the batter to see if something is missing…correct?  We might add a pinch of this or a dash of that if it is not up to our specifications.  We worry about the contents and the finished product.  A great baker just doesn’t place a cake in the oven because there are no lumps in the batter…that would be foolish…everything in life is about contents…not the packaging.

If one shifts its focus from wants to needs, then they will receive that is for them…until then they will continue to bake cakes with lumpy batter…

The Prescription is the Answer

I guess this is becoming a habit…this on again and off again relationship that I have with blogging.  I promise I so try to be consistent with my posting, but it seems like I ran into that same issue again…time just always seem to just have its way with me.  Time likes to treat me like a red-headed stepchild.  It never gives me what I want and none of what I need.  I dunno…maybe it is I and I just have to do better.

I have so much to tell you and so much has happened to me, but like usual I won’t bore you with all the minuscule, inconsequential details of my life…I will save that for another time.  Hmmm…but I will tell you this…God over the course of the last week…has really been moving and revealing in my life.  Kinda like that “what’s for me will be for me” thing I talk about often.  Yep…He has been granting me a level of revelation that is crazy.  Let me get on with this because ya’ll know how I can get…start one way…get off subject and all of a sudden I’m talking about the price of tea in China and the Capri Sun sale I caught at Wally World in Franklin, Ohio.

I don’t want this to be too terribly long, but I’m just gonna write and see where this thing takes us.  Oooh before I forget…I have some new readers (yaaaaay me!) so I will preface this by saying, I don’t mute, edit or censor anything.  I believe in raw emotions…it’s a blog and full of my dysfunctional thoughts…so you will get misspellings…horrible grammar (at times)…and all the stuff that our English teachers used to complain about ….sooooooo whew now that’s out of the way….

I have been going through this transformation over the course of a week now.  It started last Monday I guess…I decided to go through self-enlightening period that I refer to as D.E.W….or David/Dew’s Enlightening Walk.  What I have decided to go is confess aloud either to a friend or via my facebook page or twitter (social networks UGH!) my enlightening epiphanic moments…some might be comical in nature, but they are all sincere.  I dunno…its just hard for me to be serious all the time…oooh there I go again…anywho back on task.

See this is the first week in quite sometime I had attended church more that once in a given week.  I actually went to a much needed revival for three days and went visiting a church…well not visiting… this is probably my home away from my home church.  I was blown away by some powerful messages preached and the Word that was deposited in my spirit and spoken over my life.  One thing I know is that God is definitely forreal and He is the truth.  God wiped me down this past week at church and He exposed me to myself.  I was spiritually raped with love…He exposed me to myself even though I see myself everyday.  Hold on…did you get that…He exposed me to myself…see we don’t realize that needs to happen for us to receive promotion.  We stand naked in front of ourselves everyday and look in the mirror and all we see is a carbon copy of something that is truly not real…smoke and mirrors…a reality filled with perceptions.  Okay…maybe that is just me. I’m just talking…don’t mind me.

Do you know that God has predestined us for greatness and we don’t even know it?  We stay stuck in the situations that we can physically see with our eyes opposed to grabbing a hold on to His Word.  I heard somewhere before, I think it was a movie…that, “the greatest trick the devil has ever pulled is convincing us that he doesn’t exist”.  This statement is so true.  How many times have you been caught in a rut far beyond be stagnant and you just accept that “it is what it is”?  That is the trick…He wants you to think that you have to settle, that you can’t rise above whatever the stumblingblock is.  We are predestined for greatness.  Before the DNA strains were carefully crafted and woven to construct you…God had ALREADY mapped out a plan for you.  Ephesians 1:11…in whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worked all things after the counsel of his own will.  So why we are running around trying to figure it out…God has already mapped it out…we in turn must be obedient to His word.

We must learn that the blessing come not via what we see…it comes via what we hear and the promise He has given us.  That’s why we need to quit walking around with out heads down.  We need to quit moving in our own will.  If He said He is going to do it…He will.  His timing is perfect when our timing is flawed.  He has pre-prescription on our lives.  Hold on…back up for a moment…a prescription is defined as: a direction, usually written, by the physician to the pharmacist for the preparation and use of a medicine or remedy.  Lets see here…walk with me for a minute.  Typically when we are ill we go to the doctor and depending on the severity of the problem he will write a prescription to help heal you from your ailment.  Look at this definition of prescription…lemme translate this for you.  A direction (a Word from God), usually written (The Bible), by THE physician (God in all His Glory) to THE pharmacist (Jesus, the Son) for the preparation and use of medicine (mercy, grace and favor) or remedy (promotion from your ailment).  See God will perfect and heal any matters that concern the heart.  He will be a dose of Divine medicine when the enemy attacks.  Don’t worry about the outcome, because the cure is thru the Pharmacist via the Physician.  Nobody comes to the Father, but thru the Son.  So we must first know and have a relationship with Jesus first.  The blessings will come (maybe that one is for another day).

I’m gonna have to stop on that one, because this post went way away from what I attended…but what I do know is that when God moves…He moves…just like that.  It is up to us to be obedient and stay rooted in His promise.  God bless you!

It’s Dating….

. . . Not a Relationship….

Now anyone that remotely knows me knows that I am a Facebook junky.  When I am bored…I get on FB…when I’m in class…I get on FB…as soon as I get outta church (even sometimes in church)…I get on FB…hell sometimes I even get on FB while I’m in the shower…I bet you get the picture.  Initially I used FB as a platform for buffoonery…but lately I have used FB as a totally different medium.  I have used it for inspiration and motivation.  Through each post I see daily there have been a few that have caught my eye and some in depth discussion has been birthed from it….which brings me to this…Okay…okay…hold on…lemme back up for a second.  I know that there are some of you that have NEVER read any of my blog postings so let me warn you in advance…I do not edit my writings…I do not censor and I allow my feelings to flow however…I ramble and have a goofy sense of humor…so when you read this…know that this is all done with the first take…straight shot no chaser….

Anywho…the other day I came across a status that I found extremely intriguing…so I decided to ask a friend of mine to co-write this blog with me…so without further ado I would like to introduce my girl Vee…Vee thanks for gracing your presence on this blog…   

Ladies it’s time we separate what dating is and what a relationship is. Dating, to me, is the discovery time. Once you discover who he is then desire a relationship based on the connection. You can’t have a connection with someone you are only having sex with, That’s called a sexual attraction and we easily try to relate the two. We need to stop putting our all into one man who you think has potential, only to find out later that he is nothing like we thought. It’s because you are trying to wife him up instead of trying to discover who he is as a person. What we do when we meet a guy is run him down through our mental list. Does he have a car, job, money and if he has children? Once he has passed that phase in your mental cycle, you then pay attention to his actions. Does he call, text and pay you some kind of attention throughout your day? If he shows those signs you think you hit the jackpot! We tend to draw ourselves emotionally to that man especially if sex is involved…

The issue we have is a lack of distinction between the two “ships”…friendship versus relationships which leads to an incorrect perception of what the “ship” truly is.  Like Vee stated…it is pertinent to separate what the two is.  Just because interest is shown by him that doesn’t necessarily constitute a realization of substance to the “ship”.  Before one can discover who he is…she must identify who she is!  Without a clear comprehension of this ma’am all you will do is meet his representative. You can’t discern what he is because you don’t know what you are.  See understanding comes first from within. Wipe the mirror so you can see the reflection. What do you value…what is important to you?  Maybe it is the midday text that they seek Vee…or is it the supergasmic feeling that he makes them feel Vee?  Is it the whip he pushes or the title that is associated with his name?  Is it his looks…his story…his education…his mouth piece…is it the chase…the rush you get …the feeling in the pit of your stomach when his name pops up on your caller ID?  See all these things are superficial ma’am.  Those women that chase these things typically fall into the trap of being in a relationship with him…when he is just dating you…true story.

What tends to happen is a couple months go by and you think everything is going great until you hear or see something he has potentially done. How would you react if you seen him with another woman or He doesn’t answer the phone when you call. . . You’re only dating right? Why are you reacting to a man you are only dating? You shouldn’t be. You are reacting because you have become emotionally involved with a nigga that is only dating you! Dating doesn’t equal a relationship and giving him pussy doesn’t either. Set a standard if your goal is to have a long term relationship with someone. Let that be known from the beginning so he knows this is what you desire. If this is not what he wants then you make a decision whether you want to be involved and everything that happens from that point is your own damn fault. If you never clearly define what it is…how you can expect him to respect what you perceive it is.

Stop being so anxious to jump in the bed with a man! Good Pussy & head isn’t gonna make him change his mind. It might buy you some time but it won’t make him be in a relationship with you…(wow that is real Vee…I love you for that)…but if that was a little to blunt for you come close…let me let you in on a secret …Ima reinforce what Vee stated…regardless of how you can contort your limbs and make him feel all so swell…a good man won’t be swayed by that and a great man won’t allow you to.

Ladies we have to stop confusing dating with being in a relationship…If he doesn’t have similar interest in you. Quit treating this dude like your man when he only treating you like a friend! Then that way your feelings aren’t hurt and you can save yourself from disappointment! If you never get a grip on what it truly is…all he is doing is swallowing the meat and spitting out the bones…